Sunday, January 31, 2010

So Far Out of the Question?

Hello All,

Well, just got back from a thrilling evening at Ocala Jai Alai and had some stuff I wanted to vent on here.

First of all, it turns out Jai Alai is the most fun thing in the world. I got cleaned out, but never had so much fun losing $12. It is like racquetball on crack, only you can bet on it. And the players all have names like Manolo. And it is only a twenty minute drive from my house. Is this a dangerous cocktail that could lead to a gambling addiction? Yes. Am I even a little worried about it? No.

That being said, I have been thinking a lot about the college football recruiting process, as I always do this time of year. I have also watched “The American President” like 15 times this week (I had a rough weekend in Miami, lay off me) and actually stayed awake for Obama’s entire speech the other night. Bear with me.

Now, last year I posted a guide to surviving recruiting season on my old blog. It said things like “18 year olds will always change their mind, so nothing is final until the dotted line is signed” and “SEC kids stay SEC kids” and “LSU is a bunch of dirty cheaters” and “always bet on the school closest to mom” and “LSU is a bunch of dirty cheaters” and “can’t spell slut without LSU”. You know, the important concrete pilings that support the foundation of college football recruiting.

Well, this year’s recruiting process has made me even angrier than last year’s. I follow this stuff closely, although I refuse to let the whims of 17 and 18 year old kids who have never done a thing in college influence my mood anymore.

I think the first crack in my resolve was when Patrick Johnson bailed on us a couple of years ago. I finally became disenfranchised for good by the Bryce Brown thing last year though.

I am of the opinion that the process has allowed for inmates to take over the asylum. Why on Earth would a 17 year old kid hold a press conference to announce his college decision? Further, why the hell would anyone actually pay attention?

However, that is what happens now. Coaches get fired over this stuff. Fan bases lose sight of reality when a “5 star” recruit jilts their school for another. Websites that focus on nothing but recruiting sell thousands of dollars of subscriptions each year. It is ridiculous.

On Wednesday, Miami’s signing class will become official. The coaches will then spend a couple of months de-recruiting the kids in the class. Their will be a good number of players in the class that will have to be reminded, sometimes forcefully, that they are now completely unproven freshmen with dues to pay. No one wants to listen to them bitch, and they don’t get to hold a press conference about their current status on the team.

To Miami’s credit, Randy Shannon seems to have soured on these types of prime donnas as well and, all things being equal, seems to prefer the kid without the hype. And you know what? No one can say that this is a bad strategy. At least not right now. Because it takes AT LEAST 3 years to judge one of these classes anyway!

That is why I implore Randy Shannon should take a stand. Let it be known that this is an elite program both athletically and academically and that we will not suffer fools.

Randy should release a statement saying something like this:

“Over the last few years I have taken my share of lumps for not being willing to bend over and take it in the rear end from a bunch of 17 and 18 year olds. I insist that kids who want to come here…gasp…work and get the minimum GPA and test scores required. I ask that once they give me their word, or commit, that they stop taking trips to other schools, or at least let me know if they are going to. Worst of all, I am not omnipotent. I have failed to “lock down” South Florida, because apparently in order to do so that means I would have to take about 50 Miami-caliber players per year from the area. These are all, apparently, terrible things. Let me address the issues one at a time.

First, the academics. Let us not forget that this is a freakin’ college, people. West Virginia might be able to let anyone in they want, but we are a Tier 1, private research institution. We are not West Fucking Virginia. Further, we are not exactly asking these kids to be rocket scientists. They are required to be roughly half of the student that would be accepted to the university for non-athletic purposes. Maybe a few less interviews with Rivals.com here and a few more hours studying for the ACT there and we wouldn’t have this problem. We are offering these kids a $160k education and they dare throw in my face that they couldn’t raise their test score a point so it is MY fault they can’t come here? You gotta be kiddin’ me. While we are on the subject, let me talk about conduct. Every scholarship offer I make is conditional. Conditional upon keeping your grades up, keeping your performance up and staying out of trouble. I make this very clear from the outset and if my conditions are violated, you have broken our agreement and are therefore no longer welcome.

Second, I ask they keep their word. Or, as we might say in the real world, be a man. I know, I know, “let them enjoy the recruiting process” will be the answer. That’s fine, enjoy the hell out of it. Just don’t expect me to hold your spot if you can’t decide that you really want it.

Third, the “State of Miami” issue. First of all, this is one of the worst cities for public high schools in the nation. I start talking to these kids in Optimist ball, imploring them to work on their grades. For the ones that still have problems yet have the talent and attitude to be ‘Canes, I draw up road maps. Some of them still can’t get it done. What the hell am I supposed to do? Also, since I know these kids from Optimist on, I know which ones are bad kids. I am friends with their friends and families and neighbors. Anyone really want a team full of drug dealers and gang members? Didn’t think so. And trust me, some of these kids are drug dealers and gang members and just bad people. I will never put winning above the integrity of my program.

Fourth, losing out on kids in South Florida happens. Florida is a great program. Florida State is a great program. So is Ohio State. So is LSU. And Auburn. And Georgia. The list goes on. Back in the day, we might have been able to get every one we wanted (even then, we didn’t though). Now, everyone knows about South Florida. Some of these kids will be blinded by money or women or sellout crowds for all their games (ahem, ahem…I’m looking at you fans). Some just want to get away from home. Some just want a big college feel. WE WILL NOT GET EVERYONE WE WANT. I’d say sorry, but screw you for even implying that.

Oh, and last, let me say this. If I ever see another recruit pick up a Miami hat during a press conference and then throw it on the ground, flip it in the air, or disrespect it in any way (as judged by me), I will be sending some of my friends from where I grew up to pay them a visit. And for the record, I grew up in the slums of Miami. The city which I currently live and work in. And have my whole life. Just putting that out there. I have no problem with you choosing another school. However, The U is bigger than any one kid ever will be. Never think twice about the repercussions of messing around with it.

This is Miami. We will continue to TRULY recruit the top 1 percent of the top 1 percent to play here. Kids will not only become better players, but they will develop in to men. My name is Randy Shannon and we are The U.”

Wow. I made it up and I still get shivers thinking about it. This would definitely scare some recruits off. It might scare some parents off. It would definitely cause a message board meltdown.

To that I say good. If a kid heard this and didn’t want to come or accept it as a challenge then he probably isn’t a Miami-type of kid.

Deep down, this is what a Miami kid wants. They want to prove themselves. They want nothing handed to them. They want to become men. They want to win like men. If that means we take a 3 star instead of a 5 star, fine by me. I don’t care how many people have heard of them before they get to school. I care about how many people know who they are when they leave.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Let 'Er Rip

Hello All,

I don't really have much to say, because there really is nothing TO say this time of year. Someone should tell Manny Navarro and fellow beat writers, and yet, I digress.

Anyway, since we are here, I am putting this post up so that everyone who wants a shot can take one. For those keeping track, my bowl record was 16-17. That's right, sub .500. I sucked somethin' awful. I almost saved it by being the only person on Earth to call the Texas national championship (which they WOULD have one), only to see Colt McCoy go down on a freak pinched nerve.

In the one thing I think I know the most about, I got less than 50% right, and that is not including the tremendous amount of bullshit I talked before the Wisconsin game.

so there you go, take a shot. My record for the season ended up at 71-57, solid but not spectacular. And still, in this weird-ass football season (damn you Football Gods!!!!!!), I will take it.

This post doesn't even get a picture. Always guard the inbound passer.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year

Hello All,

Well, unfortunately, it is time to wrap up the 2009 Hurricane football season.

I took two hundred pages of notes this season, or roughly 4000 times more than two season ago. It was at times frustrating, as evidenced by the three cracks that I inflicted on my Blackberry screen (I get a little worked up) throughout the season. However, more of the time, it was uplifting. It marked another step in the right direction and gave me a lot of hope for bigger and better things next season.

Here are my season ending awards:

Most Valuable Player Award: Jacory

Let's just say that, good or bad, this team went as Jacory went. When he was good, this team was unstoppable. When he was bad, so was the team. Sometimes this all happened in one game. He did, however, grab this team and make it his own, which is what an MVP does. Runner Up: Jason Fox

Defensive Player of the Year: Brandon Harris

Sharpton surged late, and McCarthy and Bailey had big years as well. But Harris rarely got beat, rarely took a dumb penalty and eveolved as the season went on in to a very good cover corner. Additionally, he wasn't afraid to come up and thump someone, as evidenced by his three forced fumbles. And he made the one play of the season that made scream so loud I woke my neighbors (the strip sack of Landry Jones in the OU game). Seriously. They came over and asked if we were ok. I wish I were kidding. Runner Up: Bailey

Player Responsible for the Most Excalamtion Points (!!!!!!!!!!!!!): Jimmy Graham

This guy could literally shit himself on the field and I would have thought it was awesome. As I have said, this guy was my favorite basketball player for years because of his heart and tenacity. He played football the same way. If he had ever dunked a touchdown pass, I might literally have died of a rush of blood to the head. Runner Up: Thearon Collier

Rookie of the Year: Mike James

Filled every role we asked him to this season. Gets bonus points for starting at fullback and kick returner...let me know of another guy in America currently filling that role. Runner Up: Olivier Vernon

Best Hair-Do: Olivier Vernon

The Mohawk. 'Nuff said. Runner Up: Jacory

Looked Best in His Uniform: Ray Ray Armstrong

Just looked like a machine sent back through time to destroy receivers going over the middle. Leads me to believe that every single defensive player on the roster should be required to wear the dark visor. Can we make this happen? Give me one good reason why we can't. Runner Up: Graig Cooper

Most Overlooked by the Fans: Graig Cooper

You wouldn't think this, but Cooper actually had a BIG TIME season. He was great in blitz pick-up, a solid receiver and a hard runner. He eliminated the dancing in the backfield and stopped tackling himself. He was the most reliable big play threat and probably the most inappropriately maligned player on the roster. Godspeed in your recovery from injury Cooooooooooop. Runner Up: Jared Campbell

Winston Wolf Award: Damien Berry


He didn't care what happened before he came in or what happened after. He took care of his business and solved problems. A perfect sledgehammer running back. Runner Up: None.

SIDENOTE: The other day Bill turns to me and says "Why the hell didn't Tiger Woods just call the Wolf?" Fanatastic question.

Tom Robinson Most Sympathetic Figure Award: Eric Moncur

This guy went balls to the wall all the time, and as a result he couldn't stay healthy. A shame, because this was a great kid with a lot of talent and a truly inspiraional story.Runner Up: Javarris James

Best Moment: Aldarious Johnson's catch on 4th and 16 against Wake Forest

The three plays before this were terrible and mind-boggling. The throw on this play looked high. Johnson looked double...nay, triple... covered. And yet, he still made the play. And the rest is history. Runner Up: Jacory Harris Throw/Travis Benjamin Catch late against FSU

Best Game: Miami beats Florida State 38-34

If I have to explain this, you are a moron. Runner Up: Miami loses to Clemson in OT

And there you have it. My stomach will never be the same (pretty sure I now have an ulcer...Go 'Canes!), and neither will my phone. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thanks for the memories!