The Curse Strikes Again

Hello All,

Again we find ourselves in the middle of February and it is time, once more, for Miami Hurricanes baseball.

For many, it is a side distraction that takes up a few months while football lies dormant.

For me, the Baseball Hurricanes are the only team that rivals my love for the Evil Empire.

Opening night is this Friday night, and I will be in attendance.

I love baseball games at The Light more than anything in the world.

Milkshakes.

Awful concrete slabs that have, I must admit, killed feeling in much of my ass.

RAAAGGGGGGGGAAAAAARRRMMMMMMM.

The ping of metal bats, one of my favorite sounds in the world.

Duke the soda guy.

Ushers who have made it their sole purpose in life to torment students who don’t look like they bought chairback seats. Unless they have boobs, in which case they have priority over everyone, including the people who actually bought the seats (I’m not bitter).

Sitting down the left field line, yelling at Mike McGee ( he STILL is at FSU…guy is like herpes) as he smashes his 14549843518648th career homer against the ‘Canes…and all the while spitting sunflower seeds and nearly getting in fights with FSU fans over…really….nothing.

Walk off home runs into the parking garage.

Titanic for pulled pork and IPAs before the game and Friday’s to rub Jason Hagerty’s swag in Scarpa’s face after.



Little leaguers standing for the Anthem with the players.



The between innings hamburger race.



Jay-Ro on the mic.

Baaaaaaaaallllllllll twwwwoooooooo, WHOOO!

And, of course, the most sacred of all traditions, Scarpa and I picking “our guy” before opening night every year.

You see, my friend Scarpa and I went to at least 100 ‘Canes games together over the years.

He was there with me when we were down 12-0 to Clemson….before we recorded an out.

He was there with me when Dick O’Brien was our primary catcher.

We watched two teams that qualified for Omaha and got the aforementioned McGee to turn his attention away from the game long enough to answer the age old question: “Anniston or Cox”.

We also are men of the people. We love the underdog. As such, we have a keen eye for picking the guy on the roster each season who is going to be ours. We pick the guy who flies under the radar that we think is going to break out in a large way. Sort of like getting in on Microsoft in the 80s.

So far, we’ve failed more than we have succeeded. Here is a quick recap:

2006: Nick Freitas

The Flyin’ Hawaiian was supposed to be the most physically talented kid on the team. He had a laser rocket arm, was built like a racehorse and was faster than a Cheetah fart. Here was his stat line freshman year: .077 batting average, 1 start, 1 RBI, 0 impact. And now for the icing on the cake: he banged the girl I had a huge crush on. Nick ended up transferring to Southern Idaho (or something weird like that). Wasn't upset to see him go...although he will always be our first.

2007: Kevin Diego

Diego actually ended up winning a temporary starting job on one of the worst Miami teams I have ever or will ever see. He didn’t do much with it. He then quit baseball after the season ended. 0-2. Starting to notice a trend…

2008: Jon Weislow

Nice guy I had some classes with. Hot girlfriend who was also cool. Very similar to Freitas in skill set. Was a transfer, so we thought his experience would help him carve out a niche. Season stat line: 5-24, 5 runs, 5 RBI. He had a bit of a breakout the next season, meaning he had a big series against UiF, but disappeared like a ship into the night as the season went on. Sigh.

2009: Teddy Blackman

This is when we thought it was all over. Blackman became a starter about midway through and actually was installed as the No. 2 hitter for the rest of the season.

Teddy made 36 starts and .273 with 13 RBI and 21 runs, primarily hitting in the No. 2 hole. He also lead the team with a .391 batting average in the postseason. The team underachieved, but Teddy was a solid contributor.

Then he transferred to FSU.

I thought this was as bad as it could get. 2010: Frankie Ratcliff

The undersized pit bull from Key West became an instant contributor as the leadoff man and second baseman, although I can’t find stats. Miami seems to have erased them from the internet. More on that in a second.

Frankie, who we loved because of his intensity, got busted for selling pot in Septemeber. {Dan starts making excuses} Ok, whatever, stupid decision but nothing a few gassers won’t solve...

And then the search of his apartment turned up a crap load of steroids. Yes. A crap load.

{He got busted again for pot once he was kicked off the team, but hey, who's counting?}

You broke my heart Frankie, you broke my heart.

In the annals of picking “our guy”, this was the first time I ever felt betrayed. I feel like Frankie deserves to be taken fishing on Lake Tahoe by Scarpa and our buddy Frankie Carbone. Seriously. It’s a little messed up to be honest.

And that’s where we are at.

I had a legitimate debate about whether we should keep this going for the coming season.

Then, I decided, we had to. Because just like at Mark Light, hope springs eternal. We got beat by UiF in to end our season the last two years. And you know what? Ragarm will still be there Friday night, as begrudging with his praise as ever. So will Duke. And the milkshakes. And the ushers. And those concrete slabs. And me.

Because that is what we do. It is not the greatest stadium, but God damn it, it is our stadium And I would not have it any other way, wins and losses be damned.

Good luck Chantz Mack, you’re gonna need it.

Always guard the inbound passer, and give 'em hell on Friday night 'Canes!

*~!!Superlative Time!!~*

Hello All,

For any man that has ever been to a Sorority Formal, we all know what Superlative Time (yes, both words capitalized, like Neolithic Period or Cabs Are Here…it is that big a deal) is.

A time for women to pretend they like each other more than they really do as they cheer for awards that they really don’t care about…and a time for their dates to get up, take a pee and go to the bar to hammer down some hard liquor.

To be fair, if men do not do this then Kappa Kappa Gamma quickly turns into Kappa Kappa PLEASEGODSTRIKEMEDOWNWHEREISITANDENDTHISMISERY! Trust me, we all win here.

Superlative Time is also the inspiration for my favorite write-up of the year, where I get to come up with ridiculous awards and then hand them out to 17 and 18 year olds kids I have never met!

Here we go!

“Kind of Looks Like John Cena” Award- Anthony Chickillo

Come on. Just look at the guy… the square jaw… the crew cut…the bulging muscles… whoa, this is getting a little weird. I need to step away for a second, walk it off a little. We’re glidin’.

Chickillo is also the lynchpin of the whole class and maybe the most important recruit since Jacory. Let’s not gloss over that.

Weirdest Quote - Tony Chickillo

Anthony’s dad and a former ‘Cane lineman in the 80’s. Had the following to say:

They’ll do whatever it takes to turn Miami’s program around. Al’s a real bright
guy.He seems to be real sharp. He’s a real handsome guy, got a
really beautiful wife, they make a great couple. He has a lot of
the values that I played under at Miami under Howard Schnellenberger. He’s a
real strict disciplinarian that wants to win.

Completely normal. Except that one little bolded thing. Now we are definitely outside the box…

“Willie Mays Hayes Happy to Be Here” Award- Olsen Pierre

Was the only recruit Al Golden brought with him from Temple. How do you think that convo went?

Golden: I would like to know if you want to be a part of the University of Miami family, maybe come down for a visit this weeken...

Pierre: {Interrupting} I am actually waiting outside in the parking lot, where do I sign?

“Sonny Corleone Tollbooth” Award- Al Golden

Had two commitments when he took over, and one was wavering. Talk about your bad situations.

“The Hindenburg of all Radio Announcements” Award- Byron Moore

Did anyone hear the show he went on to commit to Tennessee? This is why the internet should probably come with an application for use.

“George W. Bush Guy I’d Like to Have a Beer With” Award- Blake Ayles

Technically he is a transfer, fine. But the guy allegedly just spent three full years in Southern California (read: target rich environment) and did nothing but drink beer, lift weights and bang hot chicks. He’s got the Shockey Mullet. I think I will also give him the “Maverick and Goose Wingman” Award while we’re at it.

“Most Likely to Get in Trouble for Having a Confederate Flag in the Back Window of His Pickup” Award- Taylor Gadbois

He is a big boy from Dallas, Georgia. Look that up on a map sometime and get back to me.

Worst Nickname Award- Denzel Perryman

He also gets the Best Name Award. However, “DP” is the best we could come up with for him? Really?!!?! This kid is supposed to play like Vilma for God’s sake!

Most Likely to Start a Fight- Kevin Grooms

I don’t know why, but he just plays with a big chip on his shoulder. He is little but has the heart of a lion. Hopefully he doesn’t get ripped in half, because the kid can ball. Actually reminds me a little bit of Greg Reid. I feel like that was a little too serious. Consider this the part of Superlative Time when they show the crappy powerpoint from the past year and one unlucky SOB’s date starts crying for no apparent reason.

“Best Tattoo a White Guy Probably Would Never Get” Award- Gionni Paul

Obviously haven’t seen it (obvs…lmao) but it is apparently The U with Sebastian in the area and the phrase “Half Man Half Storm”. And I don’t think it is on his lower back.

“John Rocker Biggest Target on His Back” Award - Elkino Watson

Chose USF over Miami and UiF on signing day; threw a Miami hat on the ground in the process. For any actual sorostitutes reading this, this would be the equivalent of that bitch Jill stealing your date and then making out with him in front of you. At least little boys like Devin Lucien who do this have the sense to go to UCLA. Safely out of harm’s way. Watson? Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be him the next four years when we play USF. Just remember Tamarick Vanover. The guy who did that to poor old Van? He is currently our linebackers coach.

And that will about do it. I could probably keep going, but as sororities need to learn, brevity is a man’s best friend.

Go ‘Canes, and always guard the inbound passer.

Signing Day Blitz

Hello All,


Here we are again, another signing day in the books. This is not the last day for the ‘Canes to add to the roster (there are always possible transfers/Seantrel Henderson). And again, I will give the quick version of my recruit-nik manifesto:

1.) Kids will do dumb things. They are 17-18 years old. Do not let yourself get too caught up in any recruit, because we were all morons when we were that age.

2.) Getting a kid to move a long way for school is not easy to do. Never underestimate the power of mom. Or high school girlfriends, friends, relatives, high school coaches, etc.

3.) Anyone that takes it all the way down to NSD probably is not choosing the ‘Canes. Those are just the facts of life.

4.) Always take the underrated, lunch pail type over the 5 star recruit if everything else is equal.

5.) You cannot teach tough. It is also very difficult to de-recruit the prima donnas.

6.) Recruit kids that want to be at The U. If we are just another hat on the table, I would rather not have the kid.

7.) We give the recruits the power, so it is very difficult for the guy who checks message boards every hour (like me) to complain when a kid milks the attention. Although I know if I had ever acted like one of these kids for the whole world to see, my dad probably would have taken me out back and beat the ever loving hell out of me.

If you stick to those rules, you usually have more success than the ones who don’t. That manifesto looks a lot like Jimmy Johnson’s or Butch Davis’. It results in a team of tough, scrappy, smart ballers. And that is the type of team that wins titles and puts people in the pros.

This is not a complete rundown, as there are still potential add-ons out there. As they come in, this will be updated.

Roll Call

QB-*UPDATE*

Tate Forcier (Michigan)

Another transfer from a Rose Bowl perennial, Forcier will run the scout team this year and then battle Stephen Morris for the starting job. Forcier is talented, although maybe better suited for a spread offense. The real concern, however, is his attitude. He was rumored as very immature at Michigan, and Miami provides more distraction off the field than Ann Arbor. He also has a father that is know to be highly involved, and if he is not starting that usually does not foretell good things. This is the iffiest take of the class.

WR

Phillip Dorsett (St. Thomas Aquinas)

This kid is lightning in a bottle and could see the field early. He is short and needs some muscle, but he has the potential to be a Sinorice Moss type of player that can move all over the formation and make plays on a number of different routes and special teams. Committed to Miami early and never wavered. The kid has played in a lot of big games at one of the nation’s top high school programs and always made plays.

Rashawn Scott (Melbourne Central Catholic)

Scott was a surprise, off the radar commitment late in the game that could profile well at either receiver or safety. A kid with a lot of tools that played mediocre competition. Would not stand out as much in a larger class, but with the limited spots he raised some eyebrows. If you has him in the “who will be the first to fax their LOI” prop bet, you won. Wait, no one else made that bet? Yeah, me neither…



TE

Blake Ayles (USC)

Technically not a recruit because he is transferring in, but he is new to the program and can play without losing any eligibility as per the NCAA’s special rules for USC transfers. He was a 5 star talent out of high school that hasn’t panned out and is apparently a party animal. He is saying all the right things, and to be honest, I have a soft spot for mullet-rocking party animal tight ends anyway; we had a pretty good one named Shockey once upon a time. As thin as the ‘Canes are at tight end, if this kid has his head on straight and starts developing some of his massive potential he will be a starter by fall camp.

OL

Taylor Gadbois (Dallas, GA)

No clue how to pronounce his name, but the kid grew up all ‘Cane (he painted his bedroom orange and green…which is always a win for Stein on the Sidelines) and turned down a late charge from Georgia to head down Coral Gables way. He is a massive guy (6’8”, 300 lbs.) and has the mean streak this program has been lacking as of late. He missed his junior year due to injury but balled during his senior year and has loads of potential. With a couple of years to adjust to the speed of the college game and good coaching from Art Kehoe, this could be a star in the making. One of my favorite pickups; this program needs some mean, big ass good ol’ boys. Admits to crying after losses. Sounds way gayer than it really is.

DL

Anthony Chickillo (Tampa Alonso)

My favorite recruit in the class that saw his stock rise to 5 star status after being named MVP of the Under Armour All American Game. Third generation ‘Cane who is the perfect example of playing better than he looks; his size and speed numbers will not blow you away, yet he is always the best player on the field. Could see the field early. This is the future leader of the ‘Canes and was far and away the most important recruit of the class.

Jalen Grimble (Gorman High, Las Vegas)

Stolen from USC late in the process, Grimble will be either a jumbo end or penetrating tackle. My bet is on the latter. He has the potential to team up with Chickillo to be stars of the next great Miami d-line. His cousin, Xavier, was last season’s number one tight end and there is rumor that he might be headed to the tropics as well. Stay tuned on that, but know that this is Miami’s biggest NSD win since Brandon Harris.

Olsen Pierre (Fork Union, Virginia)

Big kid from a military school that was the only Temple commitment brought to UM by Al Golden. He could be either a run stuffing defensive end or grow into a defensive tackle. Was off the radar but recruited by some of the big boys, including Tennessee.

Ricardo Williams (Homestead)

Has the most potential of this group, and along with David Perry could become a freak pass rushing end as a tall (6’5”), lean pass rusher. There is talk of starting him at linebacker and then moving him to the line if he grows into it; either way, the kid plays hard on every snap and will at worst be a situational player in the Javon Nanton mold.

*UPDATE*

Darius Smith (Lackawanna J.C.)

Smith sounds like a nose guard or a big run clogger in a 4-3. He is 6'3" and about 350, although he plans to show up 15 lbs lighter than that. He is a good add for depth purposes and, although lightly recruited, seems to match the profile of the type of kid that Golden and staff built a winning, smashmouth program around at Temple.

Corey King (West Boca Raton)

King is a high motor kid who signed late due to grade concerns, and may have been lightly recruited because of those same concerns. Again, after having Muhammad Wilkerson drafted in the first round after not being much of a blip on the recruiting radar, Golden and Co. get Carte Blanche in terms of talent appraisal on the D-Line.

LB

Eddie Johnson (North Atlanta High, Atlanta)

Johnson was a signing day surprise. Formerly committed to both Louisville and UCF, he looks like a hitter on tape and a possible middle linebacker or fullback in the future. A coach’s son and a first team all state honoree in Georgia means that the kid can play, the only question is where.

Antonio Kinard (Hargrave Prep)

Tall linebacker prospect that was a Michigan commit before being swayed by Miami. Was recognized by an assistant while at lunch at school and a week later was a ‘Cane. Has the frame to beef up into a middle linebacker with time.

Gionni Paul (Lakeland Kathleen)

Paul was an Arizona State commit until the week before signing day, when Miami converted him to the dark side. He runs around like a blur and is a hitter. His style of play will remind some of Sean Spence. The last time Miami got a linebacker out of Kathleen they ended up with Ray Lewis. If Paul is 80% the player that Lewis was then this is the best player of the class.

Denzel Perryman (Coral Gables High)

Perryman is a short and stout kid that plays angry but sometimes has an “off” switch. Needs to go hard one hundred percent of the time and not shrink when facing adversity. Comes from the same school that produced Jon Vilma and Daryl Sharpton (among others), so he has a lot to live up to.

DB

Dallas Crawford (South Fort Myers)

Played everywhere for his high school and was a playmaker. Much like Chickillo in that his production is what jumps out, not his numbers. Originally committed to Michigan but switched to Miami. Might be a little short for safety and slow for corner, but don’t tell him that. Another kid that could play early and be an Alphonso Smith (Wake Forest) down the line.

George Finnie (Miami Central)

Finnie is a speed merchant whose stock rose as his team won a state championship his senior year. Former South Carolina commitment and an early enrollee that will try and crack the playing rotation and make an impact on special teams. Needs to gain weight… a lot of weight…but finished second in last year’s State 100 meter dash.

Kevin Grooms (South Broward)

Grooms is greased lightning with the ball in his hands, to the point that Devin Hester is not a terrible comparison. Grooms, like Finnie and Crawford, plays the game angry and has the potential to be a lockdown corner, unlike Hester. Will almost certainly contribute immediately in the return game and could also see time on the offensive side of the ball. He is that damned good. There are potential character concerns that caused Miami to ignore him under the Randy Shannon regime. Greg Reid is probably the player he most resembles to this blogger.

ST

Taylor Botts (Moorpark C.C., CA)

A former LSU commit, Botts is the nation’s number one ranked JUCO punter. Should not have much resistance on his way to the starting role.

Matt Goudis (West Hills, CA)

Goudis is a former Michigan commit and one of the nation’s top kickers. Only has to beat out Jake Wieclaw and walk-on Ben Hopfinger.

Coming soon….Sorostitute Superlatives!

Always guard the inbound passer.