Fight Night

Hello All,

Yesterday was the first time that my brother, father and I attended a Miami Hurricanes game together.

This is actually a much bigger deal than you would think, seeing as we were raised from a very young age to be ‘Canes fans by our parents and my brother is almost 21 years old now.

However, we always had problems making it to games while living in places like Wisconsin and Texas until my brother graduated from high school. My brother and I were always on fall sports teams, so traveling down to Miami wasn’t much of an option. We would have loved to go and watch the ‘Canes play if they were in the area, but surprisingly, the ‘Canes don’t make many trips to Wisconsin (although the baseball team did come to Minneapolis for a tournament once; maybe the greatest weekend ever, as my brother and I got to batboy for the team that a couple months later won the College World Series).

My dad and I were finally able to attend a game together when I was a junior, but again, my brother attending Ole Miss presented a problem to him being able to join us.

Anyway, we were finally able to get to a game together in Tampa on Saturday. Let’s just say it was definitely worth it.

PRE-GAME

- We get in the car at 8:45 AM (yes, 7 hours before kickoff) and don’t stop until we get to Steak ‘N’ Shake. At 10:30 AM. When we step in, the host asks us if we’d like breakfast menus. Billy Stein, after looking confused for a minute, as if he didn’t understand the question: “No… we want a meal.”

- We get a nice view of Tampa from I-275. Billy Stein: “Gainesville, you’re f%&*#’ out. Tampa, you’re f$*#&#’ in. SUPERSTAR.” (I begin to realize my brother has become a combination of Kenny Powers and Stiffler…)

- We park and pull out the football…because that’s what you do at a football tailgate. Except, apparently, in Tampa, where footballs are not allowed. At a FOOTBALL tailgate. In a grass lot. Excuse me? The girl working the lot told us this was because of liability concerns. I would like to meet the doucher that sues a stadium when their car gets bumped by a football at a tailgate. Occupational hazard? I think so! Anyway, we put the football away.

- …That is, we put it away until the fun police walked away, at which point every single group in our row took their footballs out and started throwing them around. It was like when the teacher leaves her 3rd Grade classroom during a test. The second that door closes, all hell breaks loose.

- Some dude working for the stadium (with one of the worst ear piercings I have ever seen) comes over and says if we don’t stop throwing the ball he will take it away. Since we weren’t standing near our car (meaning he had no idea which one we were in), and because this guy was so annoying, my brother and I completely ignore him and keep throwing. When he stepped toward my brother to try and get the ball, Billy threw it to me. When he came toward me and tried to take the ball, I threw it to Billy. And so began the best game of monkey in the middle we have ever played.

- Sidenote: He never got the football.

- The tailgate lot was actually a lot of fun. We met up with friends and were surprised by how many ‘Canes fans there were. Dad: “It seems like there are more UM fans here than at a home game.” Sad, but possibly true. Also, props to Chris, Trent, Steve and Russo for making a tailgate that literally consisted of sitting around and drinking beer in to a kickass time.

- Another downside to the tailgate: big time lack of port-o-johns. This resulted in 20 minute lines to use the bathroom. Luckily, we were near some woods. I simply stepped behind the trailer located next to the woods and…well, you know the rest. Maybe the funniest scene of the day was ten random dudes (USF fans, Miami fans, we were all friends here) lined up on a fence giving each other “bones” before/after taking a pee and constantly checking over our shoulders for cops. Would the cops have really done anything? I don’t think so. But then again, they tried to confiscate our football.

- During warm-ups for the game, my brother and I managed to make either immediate friends or enemies of everyone in our section, depending upon what colors they were wearing. Maybe it was when the Bulls were singing their alma mater and we started a “ ‘Canes over here” chant. Maybe it was the sheer volume. But no matter what you want to call it, it was certainly fun.

- Official verdict on the new uniforms: I like them. I don’t love them, and I wish we would go back to the old school uni’s from the late 90’s. However, aside from the dumb threading on the shoulders and the dual-colored pant stripes, these looked great. The white shoes were a great touch. Also, they made the team look bigger and faster. Which is always a good thing.

- Also of note during warm-ups: Chris Hayes was in uniform for the game, which was awesome to see. And I must say I was impressed that the coaches, anticipating pooch kicks, had Daryl Sharpton, Jimmy Graham and John Calhoun in the kickoff returners-line.

1st HALF
- Miami starts with two big first downs to Hank and LaRon Byrd. The long first drive ends with a touchdown to Hank. (7-0 UM)
- Billy Stein, pissed off after an Ole Miss loss in the Egg Bowl and excited about the touchdown: “Big 4 my brown hairy ass!” to the lady in front of us booing. She deserved it.
- Miami forces a 3&Out
- Miami then stalls a productive drive and is forced to punt
- Sharpton, all of a sudden playing like a man possessed, forces a fumble on B.J. Daniels. Or as the Stein boys took to calling him, Willie Beamen.
- Baby J is running hard, and picks up a first down and then the touchdown. (14-0)
- Billy Stein decides that his new favorite thing is throwing the upside down horns to any USF fans in our vicinity. The best part is that they have NO comeback. Surprisingly gratifying.
- USF kicks a field goal (14-3)
- Miami brings in the sledgehammer, Damien Berry. So far, they have followed the game plan. Pound away and set up playaction. USF’s pass rush is great, but the middle of their D is soft. This is exemplified as Berry picks up 17 big yards. Two first downs later (big plays to Mike James and Aldarious Johnson), Berry rips off a 16 yarder to set up a Baby J touchdown. (21-3)
- Billy Stein just glares at the USF fans down if front of us. Honestly, it was little scary…I had never seen that look in someone’s eyes before.
- Brandon Harris gets a pick, but the offense can’t capitalize and goes 3&out. On the next USF possession, Miami gets big plays by Andrew Smith and Sean Spence (back from injury) to kill a drive.

HALFTIME
- Miami is executing their game plan flawlessly. They are establishing the run and then using it to set up the pass. They have completely stopped the Bulls running back, and most of USF’s yards have come on broken plays in which Willie Beamen just runs around until something happens. Let’s just say I am feelin’ prettaaaaayyyyyyy good.
- Also, a sign that you are an irrelevant football program: during every possible break in the game you are running promotions. Free movie tickets. Free appetizers. Free EVERYTHING. At one point they offered free tickets to the game we were ALREADY AT. It was like a minor league baseball game. Simply ridiculous.

2nd HALF
- USF comes out with a big drive, as expected, to drive down inside the five. Brandon Harris almost had a pick six on the first pass of the half after he jumped an out route, but he let the ball glance off his fingertips. As if poetically, Daniels then leads his team down the field.
- Miami’s D toughens up and stops USF cold on the first 2 plays from the two yard line for no gain. However, on third down, Daniels scrambles for approximately 10 seconds, avoiding multiple tackles and then delivering a strike in to the back of the end zone. (21-10)
- …we have to get a score here…
- Miami goes 3&out. Uh-oh…
- And right about this time, a common theme for the half begins. I turn around when I hear a scuffle going on a few rows back. A female USF fan is yelling something at a male UM fan. He is telling her to leave him alone. Her male friend (also a UM fan…yep, there was a fight between UM fans at an away game) comes down to make things worse. The second guy has his hat knocked off, which leads to the logical response of throwing a haymaker. So now we have a fistfight between two UM fans in the section. Fighter #1 shakes off Fighter #2, only to start being kicked in the back by the female fan that started this mess (she has lost her balance and fallen in to the row behind him). Of course, she is a woman so she is not supposed to be hit. Surprisingly, Fighter #1 shows amazing restraint and does not hit her. And this is why families like the one to my left, who had brought their four little girls to the game (they were buddies with me and Bill by the end thanks to their UM facepaint), avoid football games.
- Billy Stein during the melee: “HIT HER IN THE FACE!!!!!!!”
- Miami and USF exchange three straight 3&out until Miami gets the ball and Berry rips off a big run. Which leads to a 34 yard touchdown pass from Jacory to Dedrick Epps. It looked to me like he was actually aiming for Benjamin, in which case the pass was five yards underthrown. And there were three USF players and two Miami players in the area. But the pass dropped right in to Epps’s chest, and you really can’t complain about touchdowns. (28-10 UM)
- Colin McCarthy kills the next USF drive with a 13 yard sack on Beamen…
- DING DING DING…fight number two. This time, a real mountain of a man in a blue shirt got pushed by some other guy. Well, big man put an end to that pretty quickly, burying about 10 right crosses in to the other guy’s face. And here’s the best part: security let him stay after questioning (I suppose it was self-defense, but REALLY?!?!?)…and kicked out the guy who was busted open! Talk about getting the shaft.
- Coop rips off a big run…
- FIGHT #3! This actually just turns in to a shoving match which spills down the aisle, but the security guards (who are now an occupying force in our section) throw everyone involved out on their ass. And who said the cheap seats weren’t any good? I got three undercards to go with the main attraction!
- Anyway, not much else happened. Lee Chambers and Berry ran well, Bosher added a field goal (31-10) and the defense held strong. ‘Canes win! ‘Canes win!

POST GAME
- I will have more in-depth analysis of the team in the coming weeks leading up to the bowl. However, over cigars after the game, the three of us talked about how we thought that 9-3 was the ceiling for this team before the season. And that ain’t bad.

OTHER GAMES I WATCHED

- Texas vs. Texas A&M: This was one hell of a game and one hell of a performance from Colt McCoy. However, I do not know if it was any better than C.J. Spiller against Miami or Toby Gerhart against Notre Dame. They don’t give me a Heisman vote, but still, my current Heisman ballot:
o 1. Spiller
o 2. Mccoy
o 3. Gerhart
o 4. Tebow
o 5. Clausen
- Rutgers vs. Louisville: Really Louisville? Really? It is so embarrassing to think that we lost to this team in the last five years…
- Cincinnati vs. Illinois: The only noteworthy nugget for this one? ‘Cincinnati’ is really hard to spell. And here’s somethin’ else: I think that both TCU and Cincy (and maybe Boise) could beat UF. Or’Bama. Or Texas. They both play some hard nosed defense and explosive offense. Just puttin’ that out there.
- Ohio vs. Temple: Temple is 9-3?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!? When did this happen?
- Auburn vs. Alabama: I swear to God, it is impossible for a team I like to run an effective two minute offense.The ‘Canes? Nope. The ‘Phins? Nope. Anyone playing Florida and Alabama? Nope.
- West Virginia vs. Pitt: Annnnnnd the ‘Neers singlehandedly save my picks for the week. And maybe their coach’s job.

Best Game: Stanford vs. Notre Dame

Best Uniform: The ‘Canes. I like the white shoes…

Game Ball Goes To: Gerhart and McCoy. Duh. NOT Mark Ingram.

Worst Uniform: LSU, for messing up a great helmet. Breathe easy, Mizzou.

Trojan Enz © Boner of the Week Award: Stanford, for almost letting Golden Tate (the same guy that had destroyed them ALL GAME) beat them by playing soft coverage on the final drive of the game. Luckily, they managed to hang on. But still. Big time mess up.

Non-BCS Name You Should Know: Al Golden, Temple coach. They’re 9-3?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Always guard the inbound passer.