After a pretty mundane college football season, I am pleased to say I had the best seat in the house for a thrilling set of games to close out the season. Here are my notes, taken from my permanent seat on the fifty yard line.
Oregon vs. Oregon State
Big time game which in the end was won by the team that played with more speed. I really had no vested interest either way, so it was fun to just root for a good game that was actually delivered. Oregon now gets to destroy Ohio State in the Rose Bowl, which will once again beg the question "Why do people care about the Big Ten?"
Cincinatti vs. Pitt
Wow...just, wow. Great game. I actually fell asleep in the second half and woke up just in time to see Dion Lewis score with 1:30 left. I thought the game was far from over, and then Pitt messed the bed on their extra point. It took Cincy 4 plays to score the game winner. And less time for Brian Kelly to spell out for America that he is absolutely going to Notre Dame.
Duke vs. St. John's
Ok, this is a basketball game, but sooner or later I had to mention Duke, right? anyway, early observations of the team include the following:
- Duke finally managed to find a couple of non-stiff tall white guys (the Plumlee brothers)...a year after Hansbrough graduates. Snarl.
- Duke will struggle all year against teams with quick, small guards and ultra-athletic big men. Hmmmm...Malcolm Grant...Durand Scott...Dwayne Collins...just sayin', you heard it here first: Miami in the upset!
- Kyle Singler is a great player, maybe the best in the ACC. But you know what would make him truly exceptional? A bad, whispy moustache.
Florida vs. Alabama
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...deep breath, deep breath...YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Bill Simmons wrote a column a few weeks ago about "sports hate". For example, I "sports hate" Tim Tebow, and UF at large. Do I really hate them? No. But when they are on the field, they are a personal enemy. To say that I was happy when they lost would be an understatement.
First, on Tebow. He is a great football player. Maybe the best college football player of all time. He is not a good quarterback. He is just a football player. I would actually respect him, except for the incessant "God Bless" and eye black Bible verses. As my dad said: "I want to go in to his church on Sunday and hold up a sign that says 'Go Dolphins'". That sounds preposterous, right? Point, Dan. I wasn't elated, like some others, to see him cry afterward. However, that doesn't kill the fact that I hate his team and was almost as happy to watch them lose as I am to watch the 'Canes win. And to all you UF fans: we have 5, you have 3. Now sit down and shut up.
Second, there was not a better moment than my whole house erupting when the chick beat the dude in the halftime football toss contest. It was one of the single funniest moments of all time.
Third, consider me a fan of A.J. McCarron, Alabama's backup quarterback. Why? The
hair. It's like Riley Skinner's but better. The man is like the Gordon Beckham of football. I mean, that thing's good.Texas vs. Nebraska
Both offenses were called "inept". Is there a greater insult? I think not.
Texas looked bad, but I think they beat Alabama. More on that another time.
Georgia Tech vs. Clemson
As I have said for weeks, Spiller deserves the Heisman. Updated Heisman ballot (that I can't cast but will keep making as if I can because I want to damn it!):
1.) Spiller
2.) Gerhart
3.) Ingram
4.) McCoy
5.) Tebow
USF vs. UCONN
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Game of the Week: Cincy vs. Pitt
Gameball: Ingram/McCarron's Hair (tie)
Guard the inbound passer.
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