Wide Receivers are Like Actresses

Hello All,

The comparisons between receivers and actresses (or divas) is always easy to make. They are usually high profile, tightly wound and eager to bitch. Having been out here for about a month now...and still not being rained on once...I am beginning to see a lot of the quirks of actresses.

For one, most of them are in plain, utter denial...this doesn't have so much to do with the receivers, but I figured I should put it out there. Second, they all think that they are AWESOME at karaoke. Which I guess goes for the whole town. Third, they go everywhere in packs of 5 girls or more (or with their boyfriends, which is another story) and then bitch that guys don't come up and talk to them (always thinking their open, even when they're not...c'mon, that was a GREAT comparison!). Fourth, every out of work actress is a "model". Fifth, they worry waaaaayyyy too much about style and not enough about substance.

Receivers are a lot like actresses in the following ways: There are a ton of them and they go everywhere together (4 and 5 receiver sets!), and 4 out of the 5 bitch when they don't get the ball on a given play (which, by the way, I like...to an extent); they all think that they are the number one receiver (again, good thing to an extent, but usually is just false); they sometimes worry too much about making the highlight catch and forget to grab hold of the easy ones (kind of like forgetting that you can't sing but choosing Carrie Underwood for karaoke); and finally, every receiver who is out of work (Terrell Owens anyone?) defaults to touting themself as the finest physical specimen in the game (like an actress calling herself a model even when they aren't).

And that, my friends, is how we do a transition into talking about receivers here in Los Angeles. Plus, now I have an excuse to look through hundreds of pictures of Carrie Underwood until I find the perfect one. She is, after all, a "Future Former Mrs. Stein on the Sidelines".

Wide Receivers

The Season That Was: Well, we learned once again that there is only one football, and no matter what that video game you’re playing says, not everyone can be the number one wideout. Leonard Hankerson emerged as the number one wide receiver, while Travis Benjamin, LaRon Byrd and Thearon Collier all had their moments. Aldarious Johnson couldn’t seem to get healthy consistently, but still managed to make perhaps the play of the year in the Wake Forest game. Kendall Thompkins and Tommy Streeter got fans excited in limited playing time, and Davon Johnson reshirted.

What Was Lost: A big ball of nothing. Getting Hank back was a big win for this program. You can never have enough experienced playmakers.

Roll Call

Leonard Hankerson (Sr.) – Goes in to the season as the best receiver Miami has had since Roscoe Parrish and the most physically imposing since Andre Johnson. Will be working with Mark Duper for the second summer in a row, which is a great thing; despite the jump he made, Hank still showed flashes of the inconsistent hands that plagues his freshman and sophomore campaigns. He has good rapport with Jacory Harris and is the total package: he can run by people after the catch, go up high and get the ball, break tackles, etc. If Hank can put up another big season he is a possible first round pick.

LaRon Byrd (Jr.) – Stein on the Sidelines’ favorite receiver is a physical monster who opponents respect. A lot of the credit for Hankerson’s big year should be given to Byrd for drawing double teams. He has high expectations for himself and is a hard worker, but at the end of the day all he wants is the win. True ‘Cane that could end up a high round draft pick in a couple of years.

Travis Benjamin (Jr.) – The most exciting player on the roster that can take any play to the barn. Is dangerous running deep routes because no player can single cover him in a foot race, meaning the safety has to come over the top; if he doesn’t, Benjamin will walk in to the end zone (Exhibit A: Florida State). He also is a threat on returns, although he does a little bit too much stutter stepping on punt returns to be a true gamebreaker. The staff raves about his work ethic, and he is the fastest guy on the team. He keeps getting bigger, which will help his slight frame absorb punishment. Another possible high round draft pick.

Thearon Collier (Jr.) – A jitterbug that housed two punts last season and always seems to make the clutch reception. He has had weight problems, however, and is going to be pushed by Kendall Thompkins for playing time this season. How he responds will be one of the most interesting storylines of the season. On a personal note, his son died this offseason, and every ‘Cane fan should say a prayer for the young man.

Aldarious Johnson (Jr.) – Didn’t put up big stats last season and seemed a little slow all year. However, he is clearly still Jacory’s go-to guy in the clutch and should be more productive this season. Good route runner and blocker that will always have a place on the field for Randy Shannon because he does the little things.

Tommy Streeter (So.) – My dad’s personal favorite receiver, he is a 6’6” burner (4.4 Forty) who opens up the vertical passing game. He is at this point a bit player, however, because he hasn’t gotten physical enough to be an everydown receiver. Probably the most talented receiver on the roster and should have a package of plays that he is used in this season. This is the closest thing on the roster to my run-in with one of the female dancers from Dancing With the Stars. Great body (met her at a pool party), can tell she has a lot of potential...BUT, she just had a nose job and was rockin' two black eyes and a big floppy sun hat. Three months from now, she could be great or she could be like the chick from that episode of Seinfeld. You just never know.

Kendall Thompkins (So.) – Thompkins is a burner in the slot who has torn it up two springs in a row. He has plenty of guys in front of him to beat out, but the question now is can they keep Thompkins on the bench. There were rumors he might transfer or switch to defensive back, but I think they were put to rest by his big spring. Will factor in to the return game at minimum.

Davon Johnson (So.) – Made the decision to redshirt last season and create some separation in classes while he became a better player. Probably smart, as he has a great skill set and can fly. Will figure in to the return game and could get into the rotation at receiver. As a freshman, caught everything thrown his way.

Allen Hurns (Fr.) – Hurns draws comparisons to a young Hankerson and is now working out with Duper as well. Is 99% certain to redshirt. If he doesn’t, something really bad happened.

Tight End

The Season That Was: Mark Whipple’s new offense made the tight end prominent again, and as a result Miami got great production out of a basketball player and a guy coming back in record time from an ACL tear.

What Was Lost: Dedrick Epps was the best all around tight end on the roster and was drafted by the Chargers. Jimmy Graham was the fan favorite and a freak athlete that was drafted by the Saints in the 3^rd round after one season of college football. Aside from that, nothing.

Roll Call

Richard Gordon (Sr.) – Seems like he has been around forever. Remember when he returned kicks? Anyway, he is a great blocker and a very unproven receiver, with 4 total receptions in his career. The talent is there, but the question is whether or not he will use it.

Chase Ford (Jr.) – JuCo transfer that should play right away and will probably be the team’s best receiving option at the position. Matter of how quickly he will pick up the playbook and whether he can block.

Billy Sanders (R-Fr.) – Redshirted last season and will see playing time this year. One player called him the toughest guy on the roster. Good to hear, and now we will see if he can make an impact or not.

Asante Jabari- Cleveland (Fr.) – Most likely of the freshmen to play at this position. Very projectable and has a big frame. If he can block and learn the playbook he might make an impact. Still a likely redshirt candidate, however.

Andrew Tallman (Fr.) – Big time athlete who is very raw. Will most likely redshirt, and could be moved to tackle or defensive end.

Clive Walford (Fr.) – Very good athlete, will redshirt if he qualifies academically. Was predominantly a basketball player in high school.

Always guard the inbound passer.