Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hello All,

First of all, I would like to advise anyone here that has not yet viewed "Shit My Dad Says" on Twitter or in book form should do so immediately. Needing to kill a couple hours the other day at Barnes and Noble I decided to crack this one open and it did not disappoint. In that vein, just got a phone call from my own dad. It went something like this: "Just wanted to let you know I just capped a God damn armadillo with a .22. Wait 'til I see his sister. I feel like Tony Soprano!" And you guys wonder where the Stein brothers get this shit from. Also, great lead in to my preview for the offensive line, or as we like to call them, Big Uglies.

Anyway, we have talked about Jacory. We have talked about the guys lining up behind him in Miami’s deepest backfield in years. We have talked about his fleet of stud receivers to throw to. While that is all well and good, what we haven’t talked about yet is the big uglies in the trenched. The guys that people don’t stick around to see while the credits are rolling.

If a football team were a movie production, then the offensive and defensive linemen would be the camera crew, the key grips and the set builders…except, I guess, that key grips and architects don’t sign for millions of dollars as first round draft picks…and yet, I digress. No one really cares what their names are until they don’t do their job. But there is a reason that left tackle is the second highest compensated position group in the NFL.

As Miami fans have seen for years now, your offense is only as good as your offensive line. Ditto for the defense. And while these names are not as sexy as the receivers and running backs that

put the ball in the end zone and get their picture in the paper, you will quickly learn how important they are the first time Jacory gets sacked and you see the entire season flash before your eyes.

After all, Jacory is probably the single most important player in college football to his team’s success this season, and these guys are responsible for keeping him healthy.

The Big Uglies

The Season That Was: All things considered, the line showed improvement last season. Jacory got sacked a lot, but at least a quarter were his own fault for holding the ball and trying to force a play rather than throwing the thing out of bounds and living to fight another play. Jason Fox

was the unit’s best player for the season, and he is now playing for the Detroit Lions as a result. When Fox was injured, Orlando Franklin and Brandon Washington had one good game (USF) and one bad game (Wisconsin) as the new left side of the line.

What Was Lost: Fox is in the league. A.J. Trump, the starting center, is also gone. Matt Pipho, the right tackle, is off to med school. I applaud his effort, but the fact he is gone is probably a

good thing. Ditto for Ian Symonnette’s transfer.

Roll Call

Orlando Franklin (Sr.) – Franklin will be the starter at left tackle after playing three years at guard. He definitely has the size you want, but his feet looked slow to me at the end of the season. Whether that was unique to the games I watched or a symptom of a larger trend remains to be seen. Miami better hope he doesn’t take too long to work in, because every team Miami plays will be sending the house after Jacory; Franklin needs to be ready right away. Also, you gotta love when your left tackle is 6’8”, quite possible cross eyed and kicked Bryce Brown’s bitch ass out of the Miami locker room two springs ago.

Joel Figueroa (Sr.) – Figs is a lot like Lee Chambers. He has been impressive at times but

always seems injured. I think he is one of the five best linemen in the run game and is who I would run behind if I needed 2 yards on 3rd Down. That being said, I look for him to become more of a rotation guy at guard this year as Harlan Gunn, Brandon Washington and Malcolm Bunche take some minutes. Also has the closest sounding nickname on the team to something out of “Goodfellas”. Which reminds me, guess who I sold shoes to the other day. Paul Sorvino and his granddaughter. You can bet I will be telling my grandkids that story. Or not. Either way. Alright. Say hello to your mother for me.

Harlan Gunn (Jr.) – Gunn fires off the ball and now has three full years in the program under his belt. It is time for him to make an impact and do something with all his strength. And I still love his name. If Miami is serious about getting their five best linemen on the field, they may want to consider trying Gunn at center; he can definitely move a nose guard out of the way.

Tyler Horn (Jr.) – Ended spring as the starter at center but will have to beat out Shane McDermott (again), Brandon Linder, Gunn and whoever else the staff tries at center. The coaches feel like I did with my girlfriend in my first semester of senior year. I thought she was great, but with all the talent around me I found any small flaw to be bigger than it was. I found I was looking for reasons to find someone else. I was comfortable on the exterior, but internally I was looking for other options. And that is how the coaches feel about Horn. SIDENOTE: In hindsight, definitely should have kept that girl around. She was already a smokeshow with an amazing body and a superior intellect that liked to bake. About a month after we broke up she figured out she was allergic to gluten…which got rid of her mood swings. Now she is dating someone else and I live in Los Angeles, poor and lonely. Dan Stein, ladies and gentlemen.

Brandon Washington (So.) – Washington is a mauler whom I love at guard. He moves people off the ball and is easily one of the 5 best linemen on the team. ‘Nuff said.

Ben Jones (So.) – Hard worker and a good athlete who will compete for the starting spot at right tackle. One of the Northwestern 7; will at worst be a rotation guy.

Jermaine Johnson (R-Fr.) – Odds-on-favorite to start at right tackle. Very athletic; I got destroyed by this guy several times in pick up basketball and was amazed that someone his size was moving faster than me on the court. Also helps that he is already 4 years out of high school and still developing. By the time he is an upperclassmen, the man will be 24 years old. At that point, he will literally be a man against boys.

Jared Wheeler (R-Fr.) – Wheeler is a versatile kid who will most likely get a shot at all three interior positions. He is big and smart enough, the question is will he be nasty enough.

Corey White (R-Fr.) – White got huge during his redshirt season and looks like a college tackle. Now the question is whether he can play like one. Still (hopefully) a couple of years away from seeing the field for serious minutes. Or, as my good friend Justin put it, maybe he’ll just be cut. Because that makes a lot of sense.

Stephen Plein (R- Fr.) – Plein is a lot like White in that he is an undersized developmental type. He is not as big as White and not as close to seeing the field, but he might end up back at tight end if the numbers don’t work out and he doesn’t get heavier in the pants.

Malcolm Bunche (Fr.) – Bunche is huge and needs to get in better shape if he is going to contribute as a freshman in the guard rotation. He is also a workout warrior and strong as an ox. Very bright future for this kid and is one of the few freshmen that will have a chance to play right away.

Shane McDermott (Fr.) – Struggled in the spring game but is Horn’s main competition at center. That being said, he is very undersized at this point and would struggle against guys like Marvin Austin that Miami will see week in and week out. He is smart enough to use his athleticism and leverage, but a redshirt would do wonders.

Brandon Linder (Fr.) – The most talented lineman in this recruiting class (I know what you’re thinking, but I refuse to acknowledge any “Seantrel Henderson to Miami” rumors until he is on campus. It is like when I get my hopes up for interviews over and over and over to no avail. Does this make me sound really nerdy? I just realized this as I was typing. And somehow I have managed to stay single…). Will get a shot at center but is also projected as a tackle. Will definitely be a player two or three years down the line.

Jon Feliciano (Fr.) – This kid should be what Figueroa could have been; a nasty, BAMF interior lineman who plays with a mean streak. Because of numbers the coaches can definitely redshirt him this year and then watch him take off starting next year. Maybe the most underrated recruit in the entire class.

Tavadis Glenn (Fr.) – Should not be included in this group at all. 95% sure he is headed to prep school, and most see him coming back in the spring as a defensive tackle. Including him here is like including the WNBA in a conversation about legitimate business and sporting enterprises.

Jermaine Barton (Fr.) – Is a definite redshirt. Hard working with great measurable but limited experience playing the game and very rough technique. Like Billy Stein in the backseat. Hey-O!

And there you have it. We finally are starting to get the numbers and quality depth back. The problem is that it is mostly young. Most championship teams have something like 100 combined starts amongst their offensive linemen. This team will have something like 50. Whether they can buck the trend remains to be seen.

Always guard the inbound passer.



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