Hello All,
Over the past week, ESPN has ran a series of recollections, slideshows, videos, etc. entitled “House of Pain” counting down the 50 most painful losses in history.
First of all, I applaud the effort. The only thing that sticks with college football fans more than big wins is hard losses, mostly because one loss in the college season means more than it does in any other sport and because it is the sport that people get the most emotionally invested in.
While any list like this is guaranteed to engender great debate, because it is so subjective, I
think ESPN did a great job of trying to encapsulate all elements that make for a shocking, horrific, painful loss.
Miami was conspicuously present on this list. However, I did not find the list to be exhaustive, and since I am bored and homesick, I present to you the worst losses in Miami history from my perspective. Also, keep in mind that this is only losses on the field, which should be a given but with this program most assuredly is not.
1.) 2002 National Championship Game- Terry Porter and a stolen national championship. This hurt on a number of levels. Let me recount for you this game from my personal experience. I was living in Wisconsin at the time. Everyone of my friends decided to root for OSU just to piss me off; later in life I learned to use moments like this to weed friends out. Didn’t matter to me, because Miami was going to win this game by 50. Miami played terribly all game. My favorite players, Ken Dorsey, Willis McGahee and Sean Taylor, all struggled. The first moment of utter disgust was McGahee shredding his knee in the 3rd quarter (just as he was coming untracked) on what was probably an aimed tackle by the Buckeyes. I had to excuse myself from the room, which throughout the game somehow filled with people wearing scarlet and silver, and take a few deep breaths to avoid crying (note: I was a sophomore in high school at the time). Then, somehow, Todd Sievers knocked through a field goal to send us to overtime. We all know what happens next: Miami wins the game, only to have it taken away from them and play restarted by a terrible call. OSU scores with an ineligible player (Maurice Clarett) and then keeps a deflated Miami squad out of the end zone at the other end. Miami’s backup running backs fail to punch it in, which McGahee would never have done. Dorsey, injured, couldn’t muster the strength to complete a pass to a wide open Eric Winston and could only kneel on the field as the Buckeyes rushed on the field to claim their stolen trophy. At that point, I started crying in full view of 20 friends. Couldn’t help it; I had never felt this kind of hurt before. I cannot emphasize enough the stomach punch that this game was. It was literally over. Miami had been declared the winner. THE F*CKING CONFETTI HAD BEEN RELEASED! The field had to be cleared to restart the game! That is how late the phantom DPI flag came in, which since has been ruled a bad call by every major officiating body that has reviewed it. Also, you will notice that this is a disturbing trend: Miami loses and Dan cries.
2.) 2007 Regular Season Home Finale- The final game in the Orange Bowl. Miami gets massacred 48-0 by the Virginia F*cking Cavaliers. It was so bad my father turned it off at halftime. I was there for this one and could not stand the horror of what I was watching. I found myself standing slumped against the section restraint in front of me, watching in silent disgust as the seconds slowly ticked away. As the game ended, I was lost in thought as I took one last scan around the stadium and looked to all the different places on the field where legendary things had happened. Namath’s Tunnel. The Wide Right Goal Post. Jackie Smith’s End Zone. Lynn Swann’s sideline. Jimmy Johnson’s coaching box. Then I was nudged by my friend Steve and realized that he and I (and the chick I had had a crush on for years) were the only ones left in the student section. I hadn’t talked to the girl all game. The band was packing up in front of us as we lingered. For some reason I yelled out “North Dade”. The band took their instruments back out and started playing. Then Steve yelled out “Miami U, How Dee Doo”. The band continued to play every song in their repertoire for half an hour as we sat there and soaked it in.
It was like in Titanic: “The band played on”. Except this was easily the greater tragedy.
3.) Hail Flutie- I wasn’t at this one or even alive for it, but I know it is bad. How? Not only because it was losing to a midget on a last second play in the rain and cold (my dad was there) that was quarterbacking a clearly inferior team…but because it is replayed ad nauseum EVERY week of every college football season. Seriously. They always find a reason to replay it. ALWAYS. Now I know how the Sox fans felt for all those years about Buckner.
4.) 1986 National Championship Game- The “Fatigues Game”. Another one I was not around for, but come on, how does it get more painful than a game that the greatest ‘Canes of them all (Jimmy, Irvin, Highsmith, Bratton, etc.) refer to as their most painful loss? What is more frustrating is that the ‘Canes outgained Penn State almost 5 to 1 and lost because Vinny Testaverde had the worst game of his career and threw 5 picks, including the final one at the end when Miami was driving to win. If Jimmy has just decided that 4 was enough and the final drive would be the Highsmith show...no one was tackling him that late in the game the way he was running... Miami has another title and would possibly have won 4 in a row (more on that in a second).
5.) Catholics vs. Convicts- If replay were around at the time (1988), Miami wins this game going away. Cleveland Gary was ruled as having fumbled in the end zone, giving Notre Dame the ball late at their own 20 with a lead instead of Miami the potential tying score. The problem? First of all, Gary didn’t fumble; photo evidence clearly reveals that the ground caused him to lose control of the ball AFTER it crossed the goal line in his possession. Second of all, even if it was not a touchdown, it would have been Miami ball anyway, as they had converted 4th and 7 from the 11 on the play. And yet, somehow, Notre Dame ended up with the ball. Sound confusing? That is because IT MAKES NO SENSE TO A RATIONAL HUMAN BEING. Yet, somehow, it made sense to this ref. Miami had a chance to win anyway, electing to man up and go for the win on a 2 point conversion trailing by 1 at the end of regulation as opposed to the extra point and the tie. Notre Dame deflected the pass and “won” the game. Later, this “loss” cost Miami a shot at a national title. That would have been 4 in a row: 1986 (as described above), 1987, 1988 (robbed by a referee…hmmm) and 1989.
6.) 2000 Washington Huskies- Miami would have won this game if it had lasted another 2 minutes.
Ken Dorsey struggled early in the howling wind of Husky Stadium and began to round in to shape late, but ran out of time in his comeback attempt. The impact of this loss was not known until the end of the season. Miami rolled through the rest of their schedule and found itself in contention with two others for the second slot in the national title game: Florida State and Washington. Miami beat FSU, but finished just behind them (and ahead of Washington) in the BCS standings. FSU, not on Miami’s level that season, lost a snoozer to Oklahoma 13-2. The way Miami was playing at that point, no one would have stopped them. Add this title and the 2002 robbery in the desert to Miami’s “should have been” national titles and that brings it to 9 since 1980.
7.) Desert Swarmed- One of the first Miami games I remember vividly was this debacle, again in
the Fiesta Bowl. Chuck Levy and the Wildcats ran wild on the ‘Canes and Tedy Bruschi’s Desert Swarm defense made sure Miami didn’t come back. Not only that, but my dad had ordered a party sub for the game because people had said they were coming over to watch. None actually showed (typical Laredo, TX). So not only did we have to watch this game, but we were stuck with two weeks worth of soggy party sub afterward. Let's just say that this game taught me early on how unfair life can be. Two years later the Warren F*cking Morris Baseball game hammered that point home. 8.) 2006 Louisville- This one sucked for me a lot more than it probably did for others. The night before I had broken up with my girlfriend of more than 3 years. After being long distance for a year, she decided to follow me to Miami for college, where she promptly cheated on me and then dumped me to boot. While we were out on a date. On South Beach. Sharing a cab ride home. That I paid for. Let’s just say I was not in a great place. The one thing that I always relied on in bad times was the ‘Canes football team...which promptly came out and laid an egg against Lousiville, a team that didn’t have any right to even be on the same field. After the score went final (31-7 as I recall, but that might not be correct) I received a call from home.
My mom: “You ok?”
Me: “You know, that sucked but there is always next week”.
My mom: “No, Billy just said he saw you broke up with Voldemort on Facebook”.
Me: ... I hung up and cried myself to sleep. Good times.
9.) 2005 Georgia Tech- This was supposed to be a formality. Miami had just beaten Virginia Tech in Blacksburg the week before on National Title in grand fashion. We were up to #3 in the polls after a season opening loss to FSU. All we needed was for USC or Texas to lose and we were in. All we had left was Georgia Tech, Virginia and then the ACC Title Game. As a freshman who had come of age during the 2000-2002 years, I expected this as my birthright. One problem: the ‘Canes forgot about Georgia Tech. The offense never clicked, and as well as the D played, Reggie Ball and the Jackets still put up enough to win and deny Miami a shot at both the ACC and National Titles. I remember Miami splitting Greg Olsen out wide for the last play of the game. Olsen was 6'5", white, and had not been split out wide all game. Think this stood out? I turned to my buddy and said “guarantee deep ball to Olsen”. Sure enough, the call was a deep ball to Olsen, which was promptly picked. If I could see it from the shitty seats of the Orange Bowl’s student section, don’t you think Georgia Tech’s safety could see it from on the field?
Alright, that is enough. I would do a tenth (2003 Tennessee, 1999 Penn State, and 2009 Clemson all come to mind), but that would be cliché. And 11? How dare you? Bottom line is that these words hold a lot of hurt and a lot of tears and I am now even more depressed than when I started. But you know what? It is a new season, and as of now we are undefeated. And that is why we love College Football…there is always another game to be played.
In the words of coach Eric Taylor: Clear eyes, full hearts.
Go ‘Canes.
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