Miami vs. Clemson Breakdown

Hello All,

This week the 'Canes head up to Death Valley in the third leg of their road odyssey to begin the season; if this is The Odyssey, Jacory Harris is Odysseus. As he goes, so goes the crew. And maybe even we will get lucky and see a vintage Vanessa Williams sex scene during this game...I digress.

So that is your cheesy, Musburger-esque setup and this is your breakdown:

QB

If Jacory limits mistakes he is the better player. Clemson's Kyle Parker, or as he is known in my living room, the poor man's Dan Stein, doesn't have much going for him. It's not like the guy hits 20 bombs a year for the baeball team, plays quarterback on the football team, already has a multi-million dollar job waiting for him upon leaving school and rocks a great faux-mullet. Wait, he does? Anyway, Parker will be dealing with plenty of pressure from Miami's defensive front this game, unlike last season. I also still believe he gets way more credit for last season's win than he deserves. However, with Clemson's DeAndre McDaniel lurking in the secondary, I have no clue who has the upperhand between these two talented players. EDGE: Even

RB

Clemson relies on Jamie Harper (if you ever want to hear a messed up recruiting story, ask me sometime about why Harper is a Tiger and not a 'Cane) and Andre Ellington. Both are big and explosive. Miami will have their hands full with the duo, and that includes as receivers out of the backfield. However, I said the same thing before the Pitt game and look how that turned out. Miami, meanwhile, is establishing Damien Berry as the plowhorse and Lamar Miller as the flash to his smash. EDGE: Clemson

WR

Miami, and it isn't close. Clemson starts a junior who has not done much and a sophomore. They have big play capability but do not come close to resembling Miami's arsenal. EDGE: Miami

OL

Both teams have physical lines that are probably better in run blocking than pass blocking. Both have to deal with athletic, versatile defensive lines. EDGE: Even

DL

Miami's front four (which is really more like a front 9) is playing great football right now. They have Allen Bailey (a superfreak) at one end, three complimentary ends that are playing well and 4 solid tackles. Clemson has DeQuan Bowers (a superfreak) at one end, a solid complimentary piece at the other and four solid tackles, lead by Brandon Thompson. The top line of the depth chart is relatively equal, but after that it slides in Miami's favor. EDGE: Miami

LB

Sean Spence will be the best player on the field. Clemson, much like Miami, has an athletic group that struggles with positioning. They are lead by Brandon Maye, who I am pretty sure has been on the team since 1997. All things being equal, Spence gives Miami the leg up. EDGE: Miami

Secondary

If Spence gives Miami the linebacking edge, McDaniel gives Clemson the edge in the secondary single handedly. EDGE: Clemson

Special Teams

Miami has the best return game in the nation and one of the most mediocre coverage games. Clemson lost C.J. Spiller but will have speed back to return kicks. Matt Bosher is great, obviously, and rates Miami the edge in the kicking game. Also, Alex F-ing Uribe will not be screwing up and kicking deep to Spiller instead of squibbing it at the end of the half when the 'Canes have just scored to take momentum back headed into the locker room and in the process giving up a return touchdown to reignite the Tigers because he kicked deep when the call and resulting formation was set up for a F*CKING SQUIB KICK. Not that I'm bitter. EDGE: Miami

So there we have it. This one will come down to the wire. My dad predicted a late drive to come from behind and win for Miami. So we will go with that. Also, since I know you're looking for it with your Apple F function, good luck in Regionals this weekend Steve. Austin is a fine town, try to leave it in one piece.

And now we do some picks:

Texas A&M over Okie State

In the battle of the big programs that couldn't: Think it is possible that the two ADs get together and agree to simultaneously fire both coaches at midfield when it is over? Maybe trade them straight up for each other out of boredom? Maybe implicate them in the BP Screwup and have them brought up on federal charges?

Oklahoma over Texas

Michigan State over Wisconsin

This is what happens when you get ready for your first big road test in conference by playing the likes of Austin Peay and the Girl Scouts of America. Or at least, what I hope happens. Never had anything against Wisconsin until a bunch of their fans mysteriously turned into Ohio State fans the one weekend that OSU played Miami. Yes, OSU, a bitter rival. Well, not really bitter, because in order for it to be bitter Wisconsin might want to, oh, I don't know, win a national title for once in the history of their program. Like the 5 that Miami has won. Since 1984.

Virginia Tech over NC St.

Tech is starting to warm up. There was no way they were going to stay down all season.

Wake Forest over Georgia Tech

MARYland over Duke

Oregon over Stanford

Alabama over Florida

If it weren't a Miami gameday I would be wearing red all day long. In a similar vein, UiF will probably have someone arrested after the game.

Redheads over Blondes

To answer the debate in my favorite Billy Currington song.

Gordon Gekko over Barack Oabama

UPSET SPECIAL

FIU over Pitt

I am going to ride this damn hunch until I am forced to stop. Or next week. Whichever comes first.

Season Record 15-9 (0-3 in Upsets)

Always guard the inbound passer.