The Envelope Please...

Hello All,

Time for the annual Oscar Prediction Blog.

I will take on all comers and bet anything you want. Post your winners in the comment section and take me on. I dare you. Speaking of movies, let's talk hockey.

But first, let me just comment on the epic game that I just watched.

Before we go there, let me just say that I was tremendously happy with Team USA's performance in this Winter Olympics and couldn't be more proud. An outmanned, out-talented, YOUNG team hit Canada in the mouth once and almost pulled it off a second time. The future is very bright for the program and I am now anxiously awaiting the 2014 games.

That being said, wouldn't our future be even brighter if we somehow managed to bring Adam "Cake Eater" Banks out of retirement for the next tournament? Banks is tough. He refused to come out of the game, to the point that Emilio Estevez asked him to hold out his stick. He couldn't even lift it to waist level (because of his smashed wrist) and still wanted to play! Now that is a gamer.

And while we are at it, let's naturalize Gunner Stahl of Iceland. Then we have a first line of Stahl, Hart and Kane next time around. The second line would have Parise, Banks and Kessel.

And none of the lines would have Charlie Conway! Why? Well, as my brother lovingly put it:

"Conway was a little bitch and he would probably try and get us to change in to Mighty Ducks jerseys in the second intermission. He just doesn't fucking get it. Douche."

So there you have it. The difference between gold and silver? Mighty Ducks 2. And not Charlie Conway. Because he sucks. More importantly, I think we should elect the entire cast of this movie in to the Hockey Hall of Fame, like they are doing with the Dream Team in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

And now, on to the predictions. Predicted winners are in Italics.

Actor in a Leading Role
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon in “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Animated Feature Film
“Coraline” Henry Selick
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Wes Anderson
“The Princess and the Frog” John Musker and Ron Clements
“The Secret of Kells” Tomm Moore
“Up” Pete Docter

Art Direction
“Avatar” Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Art Direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro; Set Decoration: Caroline Smith
“Nine” Art Direction: John Myhre; Set Decoration: Gordon Sim
“Sherlock Holmes” Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Young Victoria” Art Direction: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Maggie Gray

Cinematography
“Avatar” Mauro Fiore
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” Bruno Delbonnel
“The Hurt Locker” Barry Ackroyd
“Inglourious Basterds” Robert Richardson
“The White Ribbon” Christian Berger

Costume Design
“Bright Star” Janet Patterson
“Coco before Chanel” Catherine Leterrier
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Monique Prudhomme
“Nine” Colleen Atwood
“The Young Victoria” Sandy Powell

Directing
“Avatar” James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” Jason Reitman

Documentary (Feature)
“Burma VJ” Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
“The Cove” Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens
“Food, Inc.” Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
“The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers” Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
“Which Way Home” Rebecca Cammisa

Documentary (Short Subject)
“China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province” Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
“The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner” Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher
“The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant” Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert
“Music by Prudence” Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett
“Rabbit à la Berlin” Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra

Film Editing
“Avatar” Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
“District 9” Julian Clarke
“The Hurt Locker” Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
“Inglourious Basterds” Sally Menke
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Joe Klotz

Foreign Language Film
“Ajami” Israel
“The Milk of Sorrow (La Teta Asustada)” Peru
“A Prophet (Un Prophète)” France
“The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos)” Argentina
“The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band)” Germany

Makeup
“Il Divo” Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
“Star Trek” Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
“The Young Victoria” Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

Music (Original Score)
“Avatar” James Horner
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Alexandre Desplat
“The Hurt Locker” Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
“Sherlock Holmes” Hans Zimmer
“Up” Michael Giacchino

Music (Original Song)
“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
“Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Best Picture
“Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
“The Blind Side” Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove and Broderick Johnson, Producers
“District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
“An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro, Producers
“Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
“A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
“Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer
“Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

Short Film (Animated)
“French Roast” Fabrice O. Joubert
“Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell
“The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)” Javier Recio Gracia
“Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin
“A Matter of Loaf and Death” Nick Park

Short Film (Live Action)
“The Door” Juanita Wilson and James Flynn
“Instead of Abracadabra” Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström
“Kavi” Gregg Helvey
“Miracle Fish” Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey
“The New Tenants” Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

Sound Editing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson
“Inglourious Basterds” Wylie Stateman
“Star Trek” Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
“Up” Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

Sound Mixing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
“Inglourious Basterds” Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
“Star Trek” Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

Visual Effects
“Avatar” Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
“District 9” Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
“Star Trek” Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
“District 9” Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
“An Education” Screenplay by Nick Hornby
“In the Loop” Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Up in the Air” Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)
“The Hurt Locker” Written by Mark Boal
“Inglourious Basterds” Written by Quentin Tarantino
“The Messenger” Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
“A Serious Man” Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Up” Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

Personally, I think Avatar should win best picture and best director because it has completely shifted paradigms, although the plot is simple and the acting was at times terrible and at best average.

However, I just have a feeling that the oh so snobby Academy will side with the gritty war drama. Just my opinion.

Also, I forgot to include the most important award. Scarpa and I have a new guy that we have decided to root for (READ: Curse) this season.

Drum roll please....

Frankie Ratcliffe! He is a 5'9" freshman second baseman who is right up our alley. God speed Frankie. You are going to need it.

Always guard the inbound passer.

The Curse of Stein and Scarpa

Hello All,

Let me preface this by saying I though of it in a bar last night. Alone. Not drunk, just alone with my black coffee.

I feel terrible. Honest to goodness, I feel like I have just ruined someone else's life, and I did it unwillingly and unknowingly.

To make it worse, I not only ruined one person's life, but I am afraid I might have ruined an entire fan base's.

First, a little background.

Every year my friend Scarpa and I attend as many UM Baseball games as we can. It is a little harder now that we have graduated, but we have been talking about trying to get down there for one of the big weekend series.

Anyway, to say that we love that program is an understatement. I always have been and always will be a football guy first, but UM baseball is a VERY close second in my heart. Ever since my family went to see the 2001 team (eventual national champions, maybe the best college team ever assembled) play in a tournament in Minneapolis and the players took us under their wings for a few days (batboys, team gear, autographs, hanging out in the team hotel lobby, playing

video games with players, etc.) I have been hooked.

Well, Scarpa and I started a tradition when we were freshmen. We decided that we were going to pick out an under the radar freshman to root on. He was going to be "our guy". We knew that his contributions would probably be fairly minimal, but if he did succeed we were in on the ground floor. It's like taking a risk on a penny stock. Or dating Kate Beckinsale

while she had braces and acne, before she turned in to the Secretary of Taste. And yet, I digress.

Our first year we picked a little known reserve outfielder names Nick Freitas (we were going to pick a guy named Chris Gawenda, a buddy of mine from class, but we decided that the chances of him unseating fellow freshman Yonder Alonso were somewhere between slim and none...on this we were correct).

His stat line for the season looked something like this:

.077 Batting Average, 1 start, 0 RBI, 0 HR, banged the girl I had a huge crush on.

Thing didn't get much better for Nick after that. His high point was 4 HR in Fall Practice before his Sophomore year, but then he turned back in to the same old Nick. He appeared in 33 games for a terrible team before transferring to Southern Utah, where he actually became a star (albeit, at a terrible baseball school).

And with that, Scarpa and I were 0-1.

Our sophomore year we took a flyer on another outfielder, this time names Kevin Diego:

Well, I couldn't find any stats for that season online, but I vaguely recall him becoming the temporary starting left fielder on a terrible team (making Scarpa and I look like geniuses) before hitting something like .150 for the rest of the season and then summarily quitting the sport afterward (making us look like assholes).

0-2.

Our junior year we went with a guy named Jon Weislow. Jon was a guy I had a few classes with. Real nice guy (although not the brightest) and to make things better, he was dating a friend of mine that lived in the apartment downstairs.

Weislow was touted as the fastest player on the team. He was built like a brick shithouse. We figured he was a lock to break our funk. He also was a sophomore, but we counted him because he had transferred in.

Jon then "Totaled five hits in 24 at-bats with five runs and five RBI" according to the Miami SID site. Again, we had struck out.

The reason I tell you all this is to tell you the following.

As seniors, Scarpa and I picked a fourth outfielder (you know, for consistency's sake) names Ted Blackman.

Teddy didn't get much playing time early on, but eventually became a regular in the lineup.

Teddy made 36 starts and .273 with 13 RBI and 21 runs, primarily hitting in the No. 2 hole. He also lead the team with a .391 batting average in the postseason. The team underachieved, but Teddy was a solid contributor who single handedly turned the Curse of Stein and Scarpa around.

Or so we thought.

Teddy was supposed to be a big time contributor this season. Instead, on Thursday, I read that Teddy had transferred to a Junior College in order to expedite his transfer to...Florida State. The most hated rival of all. Home of Mike Martin, Lord of No Rings. Home of the most racist, redneck baseball fans in the world.

I feel like Richard Alpert did the second he realized that Locke was really the Smoke Monster. I'm shocked, I am angry, but really, I am more afraid.

What kind of unknown forces do Scarpa and I possess?

First, we have the unique ability to guarantee a player will be nothing but unproductive for three years by jokingly claiming them as our favorite (let's be real, my favorites for those three teams were, in order: Jon Jay, Yonder Alonso and Yonder Alonso).

Then, we finally reverse our fortune and see one of our hatchlings succeed when everyone around him wasn't...only to transfer to our arch-rival (where he will probably take over for Mike McGee in left field a year from now...Mikey McGee is personal favorite of Stein and Scarpa, but that's a different story).

I suddenly am beginning to feel like I feel when watching LOST.

Everytime I think I have an answer, five more questions are revealed. Every time I think that I have it all figured out, the carpet gets pulled from under me.

Why do my players consistently fail? Why, when they succeed, do they only do so to disappoint me later on? Should I pick another player this year? Is it wrong of me to do this? AND WHO THE F*CK IS IN JOHN LOCKE'S BODY?!?!?!?!?!

Anyway, maybe I am taking all this a little seriously. Scarpa and I plan on pulling up the rosters and going through each newcomer, one by one, in the next couple of weeks to emerge with out guy. We will press on, because that is what we do. It's tradition, a tradition beginning to join "RAAAAAAGGGGGGAAAAARRRRRMMMMMMMMM" and "BAAAAALLLLLLLLLL 2...WHOOOOO!" and "The Grand Illusion" in Miami lore. OK, not even close, but it is part of what makes going to games to sit on concrete slabs or in rotted wooden bleachers in the left field corner (and sneaking in a backpack of beer) so much fun, so much better than going to Miami football or basketball games.

I guess the point is that with a new season comes new hope, but should also bring with it a warning.

I apologize ahead of time to whichever newcomer Scarpa and I choose. You are starting off behind the 8 Ball.

And Teddy, it was fun. You brought me a little bit of added joy during a season I enjoyed the hell out of. But as we know from LOST, everything comes full circle. We will meet down the road. And while you will always have a place in our hearts, you have now become the enemy. See you in anotha life, brotha.

Superlatives!!!!!!!!

Hello All,

I couldn't resist my inner sorostitute crying out for attention.

I went to my share of sorority formals in my time at The U. Here's what usually went down:

Three hours before I was meeting my date I started drinking alone. Trust me, this was necessary.

Then, I met my date and drank more. Usually at a party where I knew nobody, yet everyone seemed to know me. And not in a good way. In a "you definitely hooked up with my friend and treated her badly" kind of way. Always fun.

Then, we went to meet up with the rest of the sorority at the sorority suite. Which was actually just an emptied out old classroom. No drinking was allowed here. Which meant I got to use a flask. One time they tried to take my flask away. I told the girl I would scream rape. She walked away. Again, necessary, as any guy who has ever been to one of these will tell you.

Then, we would get to the location of the party. First, I have no idea why local establishments agree to host these. The place, along with everyone in it, always gets trashed. Second, I usually stop remembering for awhile right about here.

My favorite moment at one of these was when I had to play buffer in a love square featuring two of my best friends, Steve and Mazur, and their two dates. Dan got caught in the middle, and, to make a long story short, got cried on by three different girls (no idea where the third came from). This was fun because we were all hammered and dancing, so really the love square turned into a drunken dance off which I got to mediate. Epic.

At a different event, I was so drunk that someone literally had an epileptic seizure in the bathroom stall next to mine and I didn't know about it until the next morning. My friend Tim saved this kid's life, and I went and told someone to call for help. But I don't remember doing it. Sometimes, alcohol is really messed up.

Why do I have to drink so much to withstand a sorority formal?

Because of the inevitable sorority superlatives they give out RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARTY. As in, they interrupt the dancing that I finally have started doing (it isn't pretty) in order to make a series of inside jokes which I find ridiculous. This is always a good time to go to the bar. BUT, for some reason, I was in the mood.

Maybe it's the creepy "de-fense" chant they pipe in to Quicken Loans arena that made me blow a gasket as I watch Cavs-Heat. Maybe it is sheer boredom. Maybe it is the drinking. Whatever it is, I call it FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

An away we go...

Most Likely to Incite a Riot- Kelvin Cain

Message boarders everywhere might unite and try to run Randy Shannon out of town. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry, just the thought of that crew doing anything that didn't involve, you know... typing, made me laugh.

Worst Facial Hair- Eduardo Clements

Hey man, love the goatee. We need more terrible facial hair on this team. Who doesn’t love a good fu man chu or a nice set of mutton chops? I’m glad we are building depth and all, but why are we overlooking the obvious things, like guys with bad facial hair?

Best Hyphenated Name Award- Asante Jabari-Cleveland

We need more of these guys because it is always fun to see how they fit the full name on the back of the jersey. Or, if they choose to go with only one name, which name they choose. Does one parent get angry? Also, what happens if he meets and marries a girl with a hyphenated last name, and she insists on a hyphenated name? Could there be a future Mrs. Jones-Smith Jabari-Cleveland? Has this ever happened? So many questions…

Most Likely to Murder a Florida Gator in 2013- Kevin Nelson

Nelson is from Gainesville and felt snubbed by UF for most of the recruiting process. Every article written about him mentions two things: he loves Miami and hates the Gators. A.) That is awesome. B.) This kid has a MAJOR chip on his shoulder. As in, he might be a little obsessed. Like Locke in LOST. And we all know how that turned out. Oh wait, we don’t? You mean this show is still just messing with us all? DAMN YOU DAMON LINDELOF! Why do I put myself through this show? No matter what happens, the finale is going to disappoint me. In which case I might murder a Florida Gator in 2013. See, it does all come full circle.

Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse Award- Brandon Linder

The dude showed up late for his Signing Day Ceremony because he was working out. When he walked in, the host should have said (automatically and without having to even think about it): “The naaaaame is Brandon.” What a badass.

Joe Namath Most Likely to Give an Awkward Interview Award- Delmar Taylor

This guy is Bahamian. Very Bahamian. I just think that he should be required to be the team’s spokesman, because the look on reporters’ faces would be hilarious. Let’s just say Bahamian English and American English are a little bit different. Can you imagine Susan Miller-Degman interrupting his 3 minute soundbite 29 different times to ask him to repeat what he just said? I can. It makes me laugh. Mostly because I hate SMD after spending three years sitting next to her at press conferences. She smells bad and sucks at writing. There, I said it.

Most Likely to Kill Dan Stein Via Premature Heart Attack- Jeremy Davis

Davis is electric with the ball in his hands, and I get a little bit too worked up over kick returns. Put two and two together here people.

Prince Akeem Award- Jimmy Gaines

This dude is from Buffalo. Let’s just say Buffalo is a little bit different than Miami. His first six weeks will be, dare I say, awesome. Almost like coming from Green Bay…and I am now going to cry myself to sleep while I think about how much I miss college.

Always guard the inbound passer.

Recruiting Roll Call

Hello All,

Well, the fetish that is National Signing Day is in the books (Thank God). The one day of the year where 17 year old kids make us forget that the program is bigger than any one person. Maybe now we will have a day or two of people forgetting about 17 year old kids making their college decisions. That is, until they start again. Anyway, here is the breakdown of Miami’s class.

*= Early Enrollee

QB

Stephen Morris (Monsignor Pace- Miami)*

Morris is a quarterback who seems most likely to spend his career as a backup. However, he is a smart player that was essentially hand picked by Mark Whipple. If he picks up the system quickly he could become a very competent player within the system, and who really knows what could happen if he protects the football, learns the system and gets the ball to the guys around him who can make plays? As I said to someone, well, make that everyone I have ever talked to about quarterback recruiting, no one thought Ken Dorsey was going to be much more than a system quarterback; he turned out OK.


RB

Eduardo Clements (Booker T. Washington- Miami)

After his sophomore season, people were calling Clements the top running back in the country. After a down year as a junior, many cooled off on him. He played well as a senior but suffered from nagging injuries and was part of an underperforming team. Definitely the highest risk-reward back of this class, but then again, with the stable of backs being stockpiled on this team Randy can afford a few of these guys. He looks great catching the ball out of the backfield and will probably fill a Graig Cooper-type of role eventually. Some rumors have crept out that he might be tried at corner, which could make sense given his size and skill set and the numbers at this position on the roster.


Maurice Hagens (Tampa Tech)

Hagens is a man-child who could become the starter at fullback in a hurry. He is 230+ pounds already and will probably get to 250 before he suffers much dropoff in speed. Could be deadly in short yardage and single back formations as a runner, and the coaches are counting on him becoming a steamroller as a lead blocker.

Darion Hall (Naples Lely)

Hall, depending on who you talk to, is either one of the best running backs in the state or a complete and total head case that will never do anything for Miami. I like his combination of speed and size. If he can pick up the blocking schemes, he could become a great guy to have in the game on third down. There have been reported behavioral problems during his senior year, so we will see what happens, as Randy Shannon is not known for suffering fools. Bottom line is that this kid can play if he keeps his head on his shoulders.

Storm Johnson (Loganville- Loganville, GA)*

Johnson is a big running back who, from what I can glean from his tapes, runs with good speed and balance. Looked impressive in the Under Armor All American game. A lot of folks are saying that he could be the replacement for Damien Berry. This is the type of guy that you love in your class, especially because he is enrolling early; he could fill a Mike James type of role where he is a hybrid back, or become a feature back if he fulfills his potential. Low risk, high reward. Reminds me of a Najeh Davenport type….and that, my friends, is high praise. There have also been, however, reports that he is a big back that tries to play like a small back, which will hurt him at the next level where everyone is as fast as he is.

WR

Allen Hurns (Carol City- Miami)*

Hurns came on relatively late in the game, balling out at Miami’s Randy Shannon Football Camp and Florida’s Friday Night Lights Camp, both against elite competition. He has good size and good athleticism, and from the tapes he looks like he can go up and get it. He played in a run heavy high school offense (this is the same school that churned out under the radar recruits in Santana and Sinorice Moss), so he will be rough around the edges when it comes to hand placement and route running. He has a high ceiling though, and can afford to sit for a couple of seasons with the numbers this roster currently has at receiver. Someone compared him to Kevin Beard, while someone else said Leonard Hankerson. A middle ground between the two would be just fine.

TE

Chase Ford (Kilgore Junior College)

Ford was named MVP of his conference as a tight end, which seems pretty ridiculous to think about. He is a little light in the pants, but definitely should help pick up some of the pass catching void left by Jimmy Graham and Dedrick Epps. Solid pick up for the ‘Canes, but would have been better if he had not been denied an early entrance waiver by the NCAA, who denied his waiver in their infinite quest to butt-f*ck us.

Asante Jabari-Cleveland (Christian Brothers- Sacramento, CA)

Cleveland was Miami’s only signing day addition and is a great pickup at a position of need. He is 6’5” and about 230 lbs. On his tape, the kid runs like a freight train. Now, the questions are how quickly he can pick up his in-line blocking assignments and how he will adjust to the competition level. If he gets the scheme down quickly he should be able to make an impact starting around mid-season. Otherwise this is redshirt-city.

Andrew Tallman (Dorchester- Boston)

Tallman is a good athlete for a man as big as he is, but fans don’t know much about him. He missed a lot of high school games with weird injuries, but could play TE as well as DE or OT. Much like Stephen Plein in last year’s class in that we have no idea what we have in this kid for at least three years.

Clive Walford (Glades Central-Belle Glade)

A developmental type from The Muck, Walford played basketball throughout high school and actually was a bigger fan of the hard court than the gridiron. However, he has great size (6’5”, 225 lbs+) and good athleticism. Really, at this position, every guy is a developmental prospect…there is no harm done by taking a kid this talented from a part of the country that turns out elite players from under the radar every single season. Just don’t expect anything aside from a redshirt this season. And for the record, Walford would absolutely win the “Most Likely to go to an SEC School and Become a Star and Have the Entire Fan Base Calling Randy Shannon a Douche” Award if he went to South Carolina. And, you know,they gave out that award. And yet I digress.

OL

Jermaine Barton (St. Thomas Aquinas- Ft. Lauderdale)

Barton is tall and athletically built, although, like several others in this class, rough around the edges. Many have knocked him as a player that will probably spend his entire career on special teams (a la Ian Symonnette); however, he is the type that is definitely worth taking a shot on. He has feet that can be worked with and after sitting for a few seasons might be a solid option at right tackle. Offensive line is a particularly difficult position to evaluate, so the theory is that getting as many big, athletic bodies in to the program as possible is really the only way to come up with a solid 7-8 man rotation. Barton might never be a star, but then again, he just might be a star. Such is the nature of the position. Barton is 6’6”, goes about 280 lbs. and played basketball exclusively until two years ago. A project to be sure, but in a class this big you can take a couple of these guys.

Malcolm Bunche (Milford Prep-New Berlin, NY)*

Bunche originally signed last year and then was forced to go to prep school. Bunche is an athletic, strong player that most likely will play guard but could become a very solid right tackle as well. He is the forgotten man in this class but maybe one of the most important.

Jonathan Feliciano (Davie High- Ft. Lauderdale)

Feliciano was a complete unknown until he ambushed Hurricane coaches after the spring game and forced his tape in to their hands. They liked what they saw so much that they offered him immediately after viewing it, and the rest is history. Feliciano is a mean-spirited interior lineman that is well reviewed by everyone who watches him. This guy could catch a lot of people by surprise by coming in and seizing playing time right away,

Tavadis Glenn (Terry Parker- Jacksonville)

Glenn is a very athletic lineman most well known for getting kicked out of Friday Night Lights for throwing up the U. Glenn stepped up and played very well at the Under Armor All American Game and made more of a national name for himself as some called him the best line offensive tackle prospect in attendance. He could play as either an offensive or defensive tackle after putting on some more weight. I think he also could be an interesting center prospect. Glenn committed early and never wavered, even as his teammate and friend Louis Nix did. Maybe the most underrated recruit of the entire class, certainly along the offensive line.

Brandon Linder (St. Thomas Aquinas)

Linder is a stud who could play anywhere on the line. Many have him rated as the top center prospect in the nation, but Jeff Stoutland projects him as a left tackle. Either way, Linder is the type of top flight, mauler of a lineman that this program has lost out on two years in a row to Florida (Matt Patchan, Xavier Nixon). Maybe the best player in this class.

Shane McDermott (Palm Beach Central- Wellington)*

McDermott is a little pit bull of a center prospect who is undersized but never stops pursuing his man. He is intelligent enough to learn the playbook quickly, and once he does, he might seize the starting center position as a true freshman.

DE

David Perry (University School- Ft. Lauderdale)

Perry is extremely raw, but also has the prototypical build for a defensive end or tight end to go along with tremendous athleticism. Has very long arms, and if the ‘Canes are content with their numbers at defensive end and Perry has the hands, I like his potential as a tight end even more than his potential on the d-line. Comparable to Lynden Trail in that they both are tall, skinny and projectable but will need time to contribute. This is a high risk, high reward type in that he may never turn in to anything more than a kick blocker but at best is a first round talent that could become a nightmare pass rusher.

DT

Jeff Brown (Township High- Evanston, IL)

Would you be surprised if I told you that this was another “sleeper”? Brown was lightly recruited until about a month ago, but he is a lean (6’2”, 260lb) tackle that will probably grow to about 290 easily and become a pass rusher…I have visualized a healthy, higher motor version of Josh Holmes (who I like). This is the type of kid you bring in on passing downs and collapse the pocket. This is probably the closest thing to a replacement for Todd Chandler that the coaches could find.

Delmar Taylor (North Miami Beach)

Super-Sleeper who has great size and motor according to the film but only played in 5 total high school games. Moved to the Bahamas in the middle of high school and worked full time as a plumber for over a year to support his family. Great story, and if he pans out will be perhaps the biggest recruiting win of Randy Shannon’s career.

LB

Kelvin Cain (Clovis West- Clovis, CA)

Cain is an uber-sleeper (I hate when people say “uber”…damn it) who projects at either linebacker or end and replaced Javarie Johnson in this class after Johnson decommitted to Maryland. He is 6’4” and probably weighs about 210 lbs, so a future move to defensive end is definitely in play. His next best offer was from Fresno State; this guy has inspired a LOT of negative message board chatter. I hope he shoves it in all of their fucking faces, mostly because any “fan” who talks shit about a 17 year old kid that is about to bust his ass for their “favorite team” deserves to be punched in the face. Hard.

Tyrone Cornelius (Stephenson- Stone Mountain, GA)*

Cornelius is an undersized (195 lbs) hitter who could play either WILL linebacker in a Sean Spence-type of role or move to strong safety. The question is how good he is in coverage and where the coaches like him better. He is a great athlete and fits the mold that Shannon likes in his linebackers. Even better, he is exactly what the team is lacking in its upper classes at the linebacker spot right now. The system requires the linebackers to have the speed to play sideline to sideline and react quickly to the underneath pass; Cornelius should be able to do both of these things. If he can add15-20 pounds he will probably be a key special teams contributor next season. Cornelius may be the most underrated player in this class.

Jimmy Gaines (Canisius High- Buffalo)

Gaines is another “sleeper” originally committed to Buffalo who opened up his recruitment when Turner Gil left for Kansas. Gaines then fielded offers from major programs such as Arkansas and Arizona before committing to the ‘Canes. He has good measurables and will most likely become a special teams demon. There are also reports that he is only 16, although I have no clue if this is true. If it is, I am even more excited about a kid with this size and this production at such a young age (20+ tackles in one game against an Ohio high school powerhouse that shall remain unnamed).

Kevin Nelson (Gainesville High)

Very productive MIKE that I saw in person a couple of times. Has the frame to put on a lot of weight and become a thumper to anchor the defense. Very solid pull from Gator Country. However, too many people are saying things like “first year starter” and “future All American” which I frankly have yet to see on display. He is a great story that sought out the coaching staff on his own accord (see a theme in this class?) and seems to have a major chip on his shoulder.

Travis Williams (Lake Taylor- Norfolk, VA)

Williams is much like Cornelius in that he is undersized and very fast for a linebacker. In high school he was mostly a pass rusher; I read somewhere he had over 70 sacks in his career (which is, for the record, nuts). He will probably have to redshirt and add weight while he develops his coverage skills on the scout team. Williams played well in a recent US vs. The World All Star Game (which is a HILARIOUS premise) and said that one of his preferences is “covering tight ends”. Consider me sold.

DB

Devonta’a Davis (Gainesville High)

Davis is a player that, if he is academically qualified, will be big time. He is, like most of this class, not a sexy name but after watching him play he has great size with room to add more and the type of athleticism that could play at either corner or safety, although most think he is a safety. Very good pickup who is held in even higher regard than his teammate and friend Kevin Nelson.

Jeremy Davis (Cape Coral High- Ft. Myers)

Davis is perhaps the fastest player in the state and is electric with the ball in his hands. He is related to former ‘Cane great Phillip Buchanon and could have the same type of results on returns. He will come in as a corner but given a chance to play both ways according to his interviews. If he stays at corner and develops up to his potential, he will be a first round pick and the best corner in the program since Antrel Rolle.

Keion Payne (St. Thomas Aquinas)

Payne is the truest corner in the class and has the purest cover skills. One of three kids from STA; could come in and play right away in Dime packages, but most likely will redshirt. Played very well in the US vs. The World all star game.


Kacy Rogers (Southlake Carroll- Dallas)

His dad coaches defensive backs for the Dolphins and he plays at one of the top high school programs in the nation. He should be ready to come in and learn the system immediately (at the least), and he has the height (6’ +) that Randy loves in his corners. Most likely of these four to make an immediate impact in the secondary.

Now let's go back to the real world, where 17 year olds DON'T make an impact on our lives in anyway (assuming we are all 22 year old single, recent college grads...)!