Sports Illustrated Sleeps With the Fishes

Hello All,

I intended this morning to write an introduction to this blog that was a loose connection between the billboards that are starting to come out in full force for the new television series scheduled for this fall on the networks.

Then I caught wind of the upcoming tear down of the ‘Canes by Sports Illustrated. Call it “Why Miami Should Drop Football, V2.0”. Well, as a subscriber to Sports Illustrated, I decided it was time to end that financial relationship and do a little venting.

You will recall last summer I wrote a post about the evils of this magazine. At that time I said I would send my post in e-mail form to Sports Ill once a week until they printed a retraction or an apology.

Times have changed and certainly so have circumstances. So today I decided to cancel my subscription. But not before I fired off this letter to their editors:

“Your personification of the University of Miami is shameful. For years I
have subscribed to your magazine despite your checkered history with my alma
mater, but after your most recent smear job, I will never read your magazine
again. Congratulations, you lost a 5 year subscriber who, at the age of 24, had
roughly 50 years left as a consumer of your publication. It would be one thing
if you condemned Miami after FACTUAL EVIDENCE was discovered in wake of the ALLEGATIONS made by a scorned ex-booster guilty of $930 million in fraud (I
would define fraud for you but you clearly know what it means, as you base your
journalistic standards upon it). It would be one thing if you covered them in
the same light as you covered every other program that gets hit by scandal. But
you haven't. Where are the articles saying why North Carolina, Ohio State, Penn
State, Florida State, Florida, Oregon, Georgia Tech, LSU or Oklahoma should drop
football? Where are the highlights of Miami having a Top 10 APR performance
among all FBS football programs? Those are rhetorical, which I know is a fancy
word for someone like Alexander Wolff to understand, but what it means is you
don't actually have to answer. Not that you would anyway. You clearly have an
axe to grind and those questions can only be answered by an organization not
totally immersed in self-fellating. I am not surprised at your complete and
total sham of a story. What I am surprised by is that I ever expected any better
of you.”

Damn, now I feel better. And no, I am not sure if “fellating” is a word. But I think I got my point across. Hey Sports Ill, you’re f*ckin’ out, as Kenny Powers would say.


I kind of wish I could have a Michael Corleone moment with Wolff, sitting in my swivel chair in dimly lit Casa de Bro.







SCENE:







My muscle (my roommate Graham) walks him in as I sip from my glass of Scotch and blot my face with a cool towel.







Stein on the Sidelines, not turning around: Sit down Alex. *Takes puff of cigar* You have to answer for Miami, Wolff.

Wolff: Stein on the Sidelines, you got it all wrong.

SOS: Ah, that little farce you played with The Buckeyes. You think that would fool a 'Cane?

Wolff: I'm innocent, I swear on my kids. *stands up and tries to approach the chair*

SOS: *swiveling around* Sit down, Wolff.

Wolff: Don't do this to me...

SOS: Shapiro is dead. Wetzel, Robinson, May, Holtz. Today I settled all family business, so don't tell me that you're innocent. Admit what you did.

Wolff: *accepts airplane ticket from consiglieri (Billy Stein)*

SOS: Get him a drink. Don't be afraid Wolff. You think I'd make Sports Illustrated a widow? I am a five year subscriber.

SOS: Go ahead. Drink. Drink. No, you're out of the family business, that's your punishment. You're finished. I'm putting you on a plane to Vegas. Billy?

*Billy hands Wolff a ticket*

SOS: I want you to stay there, alright? Only don't tell me your innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry. Now, who approached who? You or the magazine?

Wolff: It was me.

SOS: Good. There's a car outside that will take you to the airport. I'll call your wife and tell her what flight you're on.

Wolff: Listen, Stein on the Sidelines...

SOS: Go. Get out of my sight.

*Wolff never makes it out of the driveway*

END SCENE

Now who wants to retract that article?

Every time I have to write something about this scandal (and by “have to” I mean I get so angry and distracted at work that no amount of Words With Friends or Angry Birds can help me) it makes me yearn for the days when I could just write about our very unproven football team.

Because we are running out of time to break down these players, this is going to a breakdown of the entire front 7 on defense and therefore maybe a little briefer than usual. I know this upsets the 23 of you who actually read this blog. To you I say…meh, I guess I have no excuse. This is just a long post. Deal with it.

On the defensive line, the ‘Canes return essentially everyone. Allen Bailey was a stud, but he always seemed to be achieving about 75% of what he was capable of. Bailey never could settle in as he shuffled between end and tackle, cutting into his production at both. He is gone to the NFL, but the d-line has more than enough bodies to throw into the mix. The question is, will they get enough disruption?

I am a huge proponent of a good defense starting with the defensive tackles, or as I like to call it, the Trickle Down Effect for football. If the tackles tie up the 3 interior linemen, then the defensive ends see single blockers on the outside, battles which they can win.

This frees up the linebackers from dealing with bigger linemen, and either has them going up against weaker running backs and tight ends or leaves them free to roam sideline to sideline and attack the ball.

The increased pressure on the quarterback means you can leave your corners in isolation more often, as they won’t have to go as long covering a receiver; they also benefit from rushed throws from quarterbacks, leading to more turnovers. Safeties become weapons instead of just over the top protectors.

In other words…it all starts down low (a fact I believe the Ying Yang Twins once waxed poetic on). While most of us watch the ball on every snap, try to take some time out of the next game you are at to watch the battle at the line of scrimmage. It will open your eyes to just how important these big men are to a football team; the team that moves the line of scrimmage in their favor wins the game.

DT

Micanor Regis, Sr.

Regis has been one of the few guys in the last few years who has gotten markedly better every year. He is one of the leaders of the team and showed up this season lighter and stronger (‘leaner’, I think they call it). People peg him as the run stuffer that we play next to Marcus Forston, but in reality he has a lot of playmaking ability of his own; this is illustrated by his three career picks, which is a bigger number than all of our cornerbacks…combined.

Ceiling: All ACC performer and outshines Forston as a more versatile player who can also flex out to end in a 3-4 situational alignment
Floor: Solid run stuffer

Marcus Forston, Jr.

Forston has been dogged by injuries throughout his career but has shown flashes of the promise the had folks comparing him to Warren Sapp and Jerome Brown when he came out of high school. He was one of the few that showed a consistent motor throughout the bowl game and has emerged as a leader this offseason. Has gotten rave reviews from the staff, and seemingly the only thing that could keep him from having a monster season in an injury or the NCAA Investigators dragging their feet.

Ceiling: First Team All American
Floor: Injured/Suspended

Darius Smith, Jr.

Smith arrived from Junior College this summer and has mad quite an impression, muscling his way to the 4th defensive tackle spot. He is nicknamed “plug”, so you know what kind of game to expect from him.

Ceiling: Terrance Cody
Floor: Out of shape and falls out of the rotation

Curtis Porter, So. (I hope)

Porter is probably the most underrated player on the team when he is healthy. He just clogs everything up in the middle and is a very formidable third tackle that is essentially a co-starter and takes pressure off of the Regis-Forston tandem.

Ceiling: Stays healthy and has the breakout season that earns him the recognition he deserves
Floor: Hurt


Luther Robinson, So.

Robinson has a lot of talent and started to see playing time last season, but still has a way to go to become a consistent contributor. In a dogfight for one of the fringe spots on the traveling roster.

Ceiling: Forces his way into playing time as a penetrating situational tackle as the season goes on
Floor: Out of the playing rotation

Jalen Grimble, Fr.

Grimble will be used as both a tackle and an end. He is very talented, as he was a 5 star recruit. However, he most likely redshirts this season.

Ceiling: Instant impact freshman
Floor: Forced into playing time by injury or suspension before he is ready.

Olsen Pierre, Fr.

Another big freshman, Pierre enrolled early and actually has a more realistic shot of playing time than the higher rated Grimble as a freshman. Another guy that will see snaps at both tackle and end in practice to boost the depth at both.

Ceiling: See “Grimble, Jalen”
Floor: See “Grimble, Jalen”

Corey King, Fr.

King was a late addition to the class and will most likely be headed to prep school, as he has run into NCAA Clearinghouse issues.

Ceiling: Redshirt
Floor: Prep School

DE

Adewale Ojomo, Sr.

Ojomo is one of the team’s most fiery players and also one of its best when he is in shape and on the field. He is a leader of the defense and looks poised to make some big noise before he graduates (I should write for Athlon or an equally cheesy publication). Linked to NCAA Investigation.

Ceiling: 10 sack season, All Conference
Floor: Suspended

Marcus Robinson, Sr.

Robinson is a pure speed rusher who wears down when played too much but can be devastating attacking from the edge. They have been using him as a flex end/linebacker in fall camp and that is probably where he should be. Linked to NCAA Investigation.

Ceiling: Spencer Adkins if they had ever figured out how to use him; Javon Nanton type of season
Floor: Suspended

Andrew Smith, Sr.

Smith is the guy who doesn’t look that great in the uniform and doesn’t jump off the screen at you but always seems to be around the ball making plays. Will continue to be a mainstay of the defensive end rotation this season.

Ceiling: 5+ sacks in a supporting role
Floor: Passed by more skilled players on the depth chart

Olivier Vernon, Jr.

An absolute monster physique and the physical tools to be an All American. Plays the game hard and with a chip on his shoulder. Will be a beast if he maxes out this season. Linked to NCAA Investigation.

Ceiling: All American
Floor: Suspended

Shayon Green, Fr.

One of the team’s hardest workers but also one of the most injury prone. Was tried as a middle linebacker last season before being moved back to end. Isn’t the biggest but plays his ass off.

Ceiling: Forces playing time through effort and motor and finds a role
Floor: Special teams demon

Dyron Dye, So. (MOVED TO TIGHT END)

Including him here because he moved from defensive end to tight end since I posted my breakdown of the receivers group. Dye is linked to the NCAA Investigation.

Ceiling: Special teams demon
Floor: Suspened

David Perry, RS-Fr.

Tall guy with a lot of speed and talent but has a lot of development left, even after last season’s redshirt.

Ceiling: Kick blocker extraordinaire
Floor: Forced into duty too early by suspension

Anthony Chickillo, Fr.

“3G” will play from day one, whether by suspension or not. He is a supremely talented kid who plays with the heart and tenacity of someone trying to get by on guts and guts alone. The future leader of the program and a contender for a starting job from day one.

Ceiling: Starter and Freshman All American
Floor: Fourth end in the rotation and special teams demon

Ricardo Williams, Fr.

Tall and skinny with a big motor. Needs to put on weight but has the potential to become a dynamic pass rusher, rather with his hand down or as a stand up edge guy.

Ceiling: Redshirt
Floor: Redshirt

At linebacker, the ‘Canes lose Colin McCarthy, another guy with a very productive career at Miami but deemed a failure by many who expected him to be Dan Morgan because he was white and wore the same jersey number. He will be tough to replace, but there is no shortage of talent in this group and definitely no shortage of competition.

LB

Sean Spence, Sr.

Spence is a super stud. He was the ACC Freshman of the Year, then went through a tough sophomore season filled with injuries before beating out again last season. He is a downhill linebacker and gets to the ball in a hurry. Once he is there, he is possibly the hardest hitter in the conference. He will always be on the small side but has bulked up to more than 220 lbs for the first time in his career. Along with Forston, Spence is the co-leader of this defense and probably the team as a whole. Linked to NCAA Investigation.

Ceiling: Butkus Award Winner
Floor: Suspended

Ramon Buchannan, Sr.

Buchannan is probably the top athlete on the defense. He is big and fast and agile enough to have been a safety at one point in his career. Has seemingly locked down a starting spot on the strong side, and could be devastating on the blitz.

Ceiling: All ACC
Floor: Rotation guy at linebacker

Jordan Futch, Sr.

This is it for Futch, who has always been one of my favorites but has never found a groove. Whether it is injury or the doghouse or inconsistency, he has been unable to find the field consistently. The current coaching staff has taken several subtle shots art Futch for his effort from play to play, and right now he looks like a backup.

Ceiling: Starting middle linebacker
Floor: 5th linebacker

C.J. Holton, Jr. (MOVED TO FB)

Holton has been moved over to fullback, a move many think is a way to force him out the door. I tend to see the glass half full and think it is more of a move to find a role for a good athlete who is buried on the depth chart. Think Tervarris Johnson.

Ceiling: Tervarris Johnson
Floor: Special teamer

Jimmy Gaines, So.

Gaines has all but locked down the starting middle linebacker job by pairing a breakout spring with a solid fall camp and seems to be one of the leaders of this corps. Great athlete and the type of kid you want to be the face of the program.

Ceiling: Breakout star of the defense
Floor: 4th linebacker

Kelvin Cain, So.

Along with Gaines, went lightly recruited out of high school but has since forced his way into early playing time, including a start last season against Duke in which he recorded a sack, a fumble recovery and 9 tackles. He needs to gain weight but looks like he will be in the mix again and a solid contributor that seemingly came from nowhere.

Ceiling: Beats Buchannan out for the strongside job
Floor: Special teams demon

Gionni Paul, Fr.

Paul has been the best of Miami’s freshman linebackers and has a ready made college body. Is Gaines’ main competition at middle linebacker at this time, or so it seems.

Ceiling: ACC All- Freshman team
Floor: Backup middle linebacker

Denzel Perryman, Fr.

Perryman is also in the mix at outside linebacker. He is on the small side like Spence, but more thickly built.

Ceiling: Freshman starter
Floor: Special teams demon

Eddie Johnson, Fr.

The least highly regarded of the ‘Canes freshman linebackers, he has inserted himself into the mix at middle linebacker and could be used as a blitzer as well. Is big of body and could be this season’s surprise.

Ceiling: Freshman starter
Floor: Redshirt

Antonio Kinard, Fr.

Has been flagged by the NCAA Clearinghouse and most likely is headed to prep school.

Ceiling: Redshirt
Floor: Prep School

Always guard the inbound passer.

And by the way, Maryland? There’s a freakin’ storm coming that would make Irene crap her pants, suspensions or not. That’s going to be an angry group of boys you’re dealin’ with. If I didn’t hate your fans so much I would almost feel bad for them. 11 days baby. We’re comin’.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Hello All,

So, can we just pretend that Ohio State game didn’t happen?

That’s what I have been trying to do this week. Well, the last two days anyway. Sunday and Monday were marked by my perpetual scowl that prompted several “you sure you’re doing ok?” comments Monday morning at work. It also inspired this exchange:

Random lady (presumably my superior) walks in to the office of the guy across from me (a fellow football fan): “Hey, how was your weekend?!”

Guy across from me: “Good, the Seahawks won.”

Random lady: “Yeah, my team won too!”

Guy across from me: Cuts her off by pointing at me

Random lady: Looks at me and says “You’re a Miami guy?”

Stein on the Sidelines:

Random lady: “Well that’s too bad.”

Stein on the Sidelines:

Annnnnnd scene. This will not be in the next, updated edition of How to Win Friends and Influence People. It will also, most likely, not do wonders for my schemes to get hired on full time at this office.

But, now that the initial malaise has worn off, some thoughts from the game:

- Jacory is taking a ton of heat for this one. People are saying he has not progressed and is not the guy to take us to the promised land. I say that of the four picks, two (possibly three) were on the receivers. Additionally, the best throw he made all game was a DART to Aladrious Johnson in the end zone that the usually clutch and sure handed Johnson dropped. In total, there were 9 drops (according to Randy Shannon). That means that nine times Jacory hit a receiver in the hands and didn’t get a completion.

- Lamar Miller is the most explosive player Miami has had since Devin Hester. Oh, by the way, I called his kick return touchdown. Before the game started. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back.

- Annndddd…yep, pretty sure Harlan Gunn just jumped offside again. Alright, this is one thing that infuriated me almost above all others. I get it when Jermaine Johnson commits a bad penalty. This was his first playing time as a Miami Hurricane. That happens. However, Gunn and Joel Figueroa are in their fourth and fifth years, respectively, in the program. Gunn jumped the gun at least twice, possibly three, and Figs got called for a bad penalty too.

- The defense acquitted itself very well given that the Buckeyes’ average starting position had to have been near midfield (I have not seen the stats yet because they will only make me angry). However, take out the 3407653458734265 missed tackles and three dropped interceptions and this is a Miami route.

- Best players for the game: Jacory Harris (kidding), Miller, Sean Spence, Marcus Forston, Allen Bailey, Colin McCarthy, Brandon Harris, Brandon McGee, Damien Berry (2nd Half), Olivier Vernon’s Mohawk

- Special teams is a mixed bag. The return game is explosive and will be great to watch all year. There will be punts blocked this year. However, we have got to stop taking momentum and then giving up a big return.

- Bottom line is that this team is clearly the most talented we have had in a while but got punched in the face on the road and couldn’t strike back well enough to win. They fought all game but in the end beat themselves with penalties and poor execution. Against Duke, maybe you get away with this. Against Ohio State you lose. If the team takes this loss seriously and puts the pedal to the metal, they will be serious threats to win out, crack the top five and be in the title discussion if a few teams lose. If this loss fails to register and the team doesn’t take it to heart, then we will probably end up at 9-3 and in the Capital One Bowl as the most talented 3 loss team I have ever seen.

Quick Picks for the Week, after my dismal showing last weekend:

Gainesville Police Department over Florida
Cincy over NC State (Thanks for playing this week’s game of “Embarrassing OOC Losses”)
UGA over Arkansas
FSU over BYU
Texas over Texas Tech (Will be closer than you think)
Stanford over Wake Forest (I now appreciate the time difference excuse)
Wisconsin over (INSERT CUPCAKE HERE _____________)
Auburn over Clemson (Wraps up another strong week for the ACC)

UPSET SPECIAL

Duke over Alabama

PSYCH!

Let’s go with Washington over Nebraska. Why the hell not?

Always guard the inbound passer.

How Do You Like Me Now?

Hello All,

Well, my hands have finally stopped shaking for long enough to sit down and type up my recount of the Miami- Oklahoma matchup, alternately the most frustrating and gratifying win I can remember.

Now I know what you are telling yourself.

“There’s no chance he is going to do another running diary for this game.”

And you could not be further from the truth ladies and gentlemen.

PRE GAME

Comin’ to you live from the Stein family football cave, eagerly anticipating the fourth leg of Miami’s gauntlet to open the stadium.

ABC shoots it down to Joe Robbie…errrrr Pro Player…errrrr Dolphin…errrrrrr Landshark Stadium, where we are greeted by Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musbrger. YES! The last good two man booth in college football! We are off to a great start.

Let’s just say that this game is not setting up well for Miami. In what promises to be a physical game, Miami’s starting fullback (Pat Hill), starting defensive end (Olivier Vernon) and two starting safeties (Randy Phillips and JoJo Nicolas) are all scratches. Actually, the Nicolas thing might be good. Is that mean? Or is it just sad? Anyway, all of a sudden our lead blocker in the running game, only reliable defensive back and yet another defensive linemen are gone.

Down on the field, Miami is in the Orange over White. Phew.

My dad and I decide that we want Jimmy Graham to catch the first touchdown. Not only would it get him over the hump after last week’s performance, but it would get the stadium rockin’.

I motion to nickname Landry Jones “The ‘Stache”. Done and done.

1st QTR

• God damn it, it appears “The ‘Stache” has been thought of. Scratch that idea.
• Miami wins the toss and chooses to receive. This is perfect. Set the tone early. Get a score right out of the gates. Love the aggression.
• And we get right in to our typical gameplan, facing a 3rd and Medium early…and Randy Shannon calls for a timeout. Awesome. 1:32 in to the game and we are down a timeout. I mean, it’s only EVERY game that we end up needing one more timeout than we have down the stretch. I am sure that won’t come back to bite us in the ass.
• Jacory hits seldom used Tervarris Johnson for a first down out of the timeout. Again, this is why Mark Whipple is awesome. Johnson, in his previous three years, was essentially a wasted scholarship, listed at different times as the 4th string cornerback, nickelback, safety, tight end and now fullback. And he just got the offense started in the Oklahoma game. Love it.
• Harris follows up by throwing a bad interception. It looks like Leonard Hankerson broke off his flare route; Jacory threw it anyway, trusting that Hankerson WOULD NOT break off his route.
• The defense, after having the tempo dictated to it last weekend in Blacksburg, will surely come out blitzing and forcing the issue. Wait, they’re not? They’re doing the same thing as last weekend? Dan is getting angry…
• And Oklahoma marches down the field and scores a touchdown, beating Sam Shields something like 57 times on the drive. (7-0 OU)
• Question: If Miami knows that Sam Shields is a liability in coverage and is willing to deal with his growing pains as he learns the position, why not just put Brandon McGee and Jamal Reid out there? Why play a senior over freshmen when you’re going to get beat anyway. Nothing against Shields, because I admire him for taking one for the team and switching sides of the ball as a senior. Hell, I think it is a testament to his work ethic that he has earned a starting spot already. But this is four straight games that he’s been terrible in.
• Miami gets the ball back, and Jacory throws another bad interception. This would be slightly less aggravating if it was not on a jump ball in the middle of the field to Travis Benjamin (all 5’10” of him). WTF?!
• Marcus Robinson comes through with a sack after abusing his blocker. Meanwhile, Ray Ray Armstrong has looked great so far at safety. The kid has a nose for the ball, to be sure. He has not been tested in coverage yet, but he has done everything asked of him to this point. My point about playing the freshmen in the secondary just got made for me, and I thank you.
• And Shields just got beat again. Sam Shields is the football equivalent of the Washington Generals.
• DeMarcus Van Dyke gets called for borderline pass interference. This is not going well. It is a small miracle that the quarter ends with Miami only down a touchdown.

2nd QTR
• As if on cue, Oklahoma comes out of the quarter break and fakes a field goal. My dad knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. Musburger knew it was coming. And still, the Sooners got 2 ½ yards when they needed 2. Although, I would say that they referee spotted the ball a little charitably; either way, 1st Down Sooners.
• Sam Shields gets called for a ticky tacky facemask penalty…at this point, Miami has been called for a facemask and a pass interference, and twice has jumped offside. In a game against a great team, you just cannot help them by bailing them out with penalties. Just can’t do it (wow, did John Madden just take over this blog for that bullet point?)
• Miami holds and forces a field goal. (10-0 OU)
• Graig Cooper busts a big return, which then gets called back for clipping.
• Jacory hooks up on 2 straight plays to Aldarious Johnson, who is back in the rotation and providing Miami with another reliable third down option.
• After peppering Oklahoma along the sidelines and spreading them out, Baby J breaks a 50 yard run up the gut. HUGE momentum play.
• Jacory hits Jimmy Graham over the middle. TOUCHDOWN ‘CANES!!! Sometimes, my dad and I are prophetic. Not often. But sometimes. (10-7 OU)
• Miami comes down on kick coverage and traps Oklahoma inside its own 10…only to have to re-kick because of an offside penalty. That’s right, offside. On the kickoff. This is starting to get beyond frustrating. What’s a good word? “Infuriating”? That seems a little overdone. Either way, it feels like someone has electrodes attached to my gonads, and every time Miami does something good they send a shock through the wires. I am almost pre-conditioned to expect a flag on every big play for Miami. I am the most pitiful Pavlovian Dog you can imagine.
• Oklahoma goes 3 & Out after the re-kick.
• Miami follows suit
• Miami holds on D again, but Shannon does not use his timeouts on defense, instead being content to go in to the half down three. Yep, just got shocked again. Right in the gonads.

HALFTIME
• Well, the D has played solid ball, despite the penalties. My question is why don’t we ever blitz? Think about it. The whole defense is predicated on speed. Lovett is afraid to blitz because he doesn’t want our corners on an island. The problem is that because he never sends a blitz, the opposing quarterback just sits back and picks apart the coverage anyway. At least if we blitz we force the issue and a quick throw, especially against a statue like Landry Jones. Furthermore, as witnessed in the Georgia Tech game, this defense feeds off of big plays. All they need is one or two big hits to get rolling. Even if the blitz is not one hundred percent effective, it will still get the fire going inside of our defense. They will loosen up and start playing fast instead of tentatively. Am I the only one who knows this? It just can’t be. BRING THE NOISE!!!!!
• An underrated drink combo: Jack and Sprite. Don’t think, just do it. And then call me tomorrow and thank me.
• My mother: “Why aren’t all the old players on the sideline anymore?” A great question. For years, this weekly homecoming defined the Miami program. And now, it seems like the players on the sideline are few and far between. Yet another example of why this program is not where it used to be.

3rd QTR
• Corey Nelms, a walk on, comes out and lays the wood on the opening kickoff. Where the hell did that come from?
• Brandon Harris comes off the edge on a cornerback blitz and blindsides the quarterback, forcing a fumble that Miami recovers. This play was like Madden ’05 (the last one I played consistently), when you were about to hit stick someone and the screen slowed down and the controller started thumping like a heart beat. You knew something awesome was about to happen. Landry Jones looked like he had almost stopped playing. My dad thought there must have been a whistle blown because Brandon Harris was moving so much faster than everyone else. And all this on the first play of the half, when Lovett did the unthinkable and called a blitz. Shocking.
• Miami goes for the jugular on the first play, throwing to Dedrick Epps in the end zone for a touchdown on the first play. And we all thought tight end would be this team’s weakest position. I am not even going to bother with all of the caps and exclamation points, because I think it is obvious that three plays in to the second half the ‘Canes just went up on Oklahoma. (14-10 UM)
• Eric Moncur and Allen Bailey, the two best linemen do far this year for UM, make big plays to set up a 3& Out..but wait, flag down…and its pass interference on Sean Spence. Worst call yet, which is saying something. More on all this later.
• Oklahoma is melting down. They just called for personal fouls on back to back plays. And one of their running backs is trying to bait Moncur (a 25 year old, 260 pound defensive end for Carol City) in to a fight. YES!!!!!!!!!
• Oklahoma is really starting to play some dirty football. My dad quips “Our defensive linemen need to protect their lower extremities, huh?” Line of the night, easily.
• Jacory gets the ball and throws deep…he has Travis Benjamin…touchdown ‘Canes! (21-10 UM)
• Ramon Buchannon flattens the Sooner kick returner on the ensuing kickoff…where the hell did this kick coverage come from???
• At the end of a play, Oklahoma’s 330+ lb offensive lineman spears Ray Ray Armstrong from behind, clearly after the whistle. No call. In my life, I have been angrier about refereeing once before. And that was when it cost Miami a National Title. Seriously, this is pathetic. Armstrong is hurt on the play, and the refs call NOTHING. It’s like Bob Stoops told his linemen “sweep the leg”. And the refs were in the huddle. And vowed to say nothing about it. It reminds me of the scene in “The Express” (yes, I saw it, and enjoyed it…don’t you judge me) when The Texas players start punching Ernie Davis after a play and they call Davis’s team for a personal foul when they come to break it up. Just absolutely terrible. (That's right, two movie references in one bullet point)
• On a bright note, Sean Spence is having himself a bounce back game. The kid is everywhere. Good to see him back doin’ his thing.
• You’ll never believe this, but the refs just screwed Miami on a roughing the kicker penalty. Joe Joseph busted through the line and almost blocked the punt. He dove off to the side, specifically to avoid the punter (which is impressive considering he is 315 lbs). The punter comes down and lands on top of Joseph’s back (NOT A PENALTY; officially, not a penalty, according to the rule book) and then flops to sell it. Herbstreit even calls the kid out for laughing about it on the sideline (my man crush on Herbie continues to grow). The refs not only throw the flag, but assess 15 yards instead of 5 for just running in to the kicker; earlier in the game, they gave us 5 instead of 15 when Ray Ray collided with the punter while he was IN THE AIR. The result is a first down deep in Miami territory for the Sooners. We all know how this ends…
• Touchdown Sooners…and a balatant holding penalty goes uncalled. Go figure. (21-17 UM)
• Joseph is getting yelled at by everyone on the sideline. Honestly. Not warranted. He did exactly what he was supposed to and got called for a BS penalty. Not his fault. The alternative is to try and not block the kick. Which definitely would get him yelled at. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
• Miami and Oklahoma trade 3 & Outs. Eric Moncur comes up big again.
• The longest 3rd quarter ever concludes.

4th QTR
• Joseph gets his redemption, knifing through the Sooner line and planting the running back in the backfield to force a Sooner punt.
• Jacory makes a clutch 3rd down throw to Aldarious
• Baby J breaks off a 20 yard run
• Thearon Collier almost catches the dagger, a bomb that he laid out for full-extension and came just short on.
• Miami punts, and the Sooner return man fields it on the 1…here come the ‘Canes…and the return goes out to midfield after a blatant block in the back on Sam Shields springs the returner. This is turning in to a comedy of officiating errors.
• Marcus Forston just jumped offside for the third time. Someone needs to recommend decaf to the big man.
• The D comes up huge and forces a field goal. (21-20 UM)
• Jacory converts a 3rd and Long to Aldarious on a fake pitch play that was executed perfectly. Whipple called the pitch out of that exact formation shift three times in the first 3 quarters, all to set up the fake when it mattered. Textbook.
• Miami gets the ball back and is in 3rd and Long. This is the play of the game. Timeout is taken.
• Coming out of the timeout, Jacory completes to Epps for the 1st down. That should be the ballgame… Oklahoma is out of timeouts, Miami just needs to bleed clock…
• Baby J rips off a 14 yard run. Ballgame. MIAMI WINS! 3-1!!!!!!!!

The Morning After
• Gameball goes to: Javarris James
• I don’t really know what to say. I am still giddy. The defense came up huge, the offense made plays when it mattered, and the team overcame an awful start and terrible officiating to win. What more can you ask for?
• It was all worth it for Randy Shannon’s reaction. I thought he might cry afterward. I had never seen him happy before, but after this game he looked like a little kid. And why not? This is a legitimate signature win, beating a Top 10, national title contender from out of conference in primetime on national television. That is what Miami football is all about, and he knows it better than anyone else.
• There are obvious flaws, particularly pass coverage. But the ‘Canes will be favored in every game from here on out and should have learned its lesson about hype in Blacksburg. 11-1 is entirely possible (although still not likely) and that would put the ‘Canes firmly in the National Title conversation (if everything bounces their way). And all this a year ahead of schedule, with a treacherously thin offensive line and a banged up defensive unit. This feels pretty damned good. This was all about redemption. Miami redeeming last week’s performance. Miami getting revenge for the last matchup with Oklahoma. Shannon getting revenge against all of his naysayers (who you will find in droves after a loss and barely find at all after this kind of win). And most of all, loyal fans being redeemed after following this team through the valley of the last 4 seasons. This song was just too sweet.

Other Games I Watched
• Louisiana Tech vs. Hawaii: It would be easy for me to make a joke about Hawaii’s head coach and his homophobic comments before the season. Especially at a University formerly nicknamed the Rainbow Warriors. But I’m not going to. Stein on the Sidelines is classier than that. Anyway, Louisiana Tech smacked them and looked great doing it in their old school red, white and blue uniforms.
• West Virginia vs. Colorado: When I’m right, I’m very right. My dad and I had important stuff to discuss during this game, namely the Tyler Hansbrough cell phone commercial. So let me get this straight: Little girl posts sign for lost dog. Nameless guy takes a picture, which he sends in a mass text to all his friends. Hansbrough gets text and does the same. Hansbrough’s friend finds dog and texts him back. Hansbrough goes and collects the dog, and then brings it back to the little girl. Meanwhile, the original unnamed guy receives no credit while Hansbrough receives ALL the credit. And this is acceptable? Yet another reason to hate Tyler Hansbrough- he is a Glory Hog.
• Pitt vs. Louiville: This was when we found out that LaGarrette Blount is going to be reinstated at Oregon. What, is he seeing a Buddhist?
• Wisconsin vs. Minnesota: Why are they playing in October for The Axe? And why is Eric Decker still seeing single coverage?
• Dartmouth vs. Penn: This is the first leg of VS’s great doubleheader, followed by William & Mary vs. Villanova.
• Virginia vs. UNC: Sorry Steph.
• FSU vs. BC: The Mark Herzlich story is great, and I love the move by Gameday to go there this week. That being said, wouldn’t it be nice if FSU won a game every now and then?
• Washington vs. Notre Dame: ND scored on a 4th & Goal conversion that shouldn’t have been. In what is apparently the world’s darkest stadium. As much as I hate them, there is no denying that Golden Tate and Kyle Rudolph are studs. Also there was a great moment on the sideline, wherein NBC’s bimbo sideline reporter was trying to demonstrate what a turf toe is. The camera, mid-sentence, panned away from her back to the game that was between plays….and the bimbo, apparently angry, craned her neck to get back in to the shot and interrupted the guys in the booth that had started speaking again. High comedy. They missed the start of the play because of her temper tantrum. Seriously. I guess maybe you had to see it. (Snarl)
• LSU vs. UGA: Choke
• Penn State vs. Illinois: We landed on this game randomly at one point, and this was the literal conversation
-Dad: Who gives a s#$t?
-Stein on the Sidelines:

Best Game: Miami vs. Oklahoma. For everything I said above.

Best Uniform: Iowa. They always look great in the black over gold.

Game Ball Goes To: Toby Gerhart, Stanford. Pretty sure I misspelled his name at some point on this blog, but I don’t care, because this kid can play and has made Stanford in to a contender. Plus, he plays baseball too. And that always wins you points with Stein on the Sidelines.

Worst Uniform: Kentucky’s monochromatic royal blue with sparkly helmet paint. Here’s lookin’ at you, Ty.

Trojan Enz © Boner of the Week Award: The referees, and not just in the Miami game. There was the Notre Dame no-call on 4th & Goal, a terrible excessive celebration call in the Georgia game, and just an overall emasculation of the game throughout this season.

Brian Rolle “Should’ve Been a ‘Cane” Award: Corey Liuget, Illinois. This kid is a stud that can play defensive end or tackle, much like Allen Bailey. He went to Illinois because he liked the coaches and wanted to get out of Miami. How is that workin’ out? On top of that, Miami needs as many quality linemen as they can get, and this kid is being wasted at Illinois.

Non-BCS Name You Should Know: Damaris Johnson, Tulsa. This kid can flat out play receiver. Watched him early this season and he was the one kid that you had to watch no matter what he was doing on the field. Just electric.

Always guard the inbound passer.