Hello All,
Week one is in the books. It only took five days of games, or as the Steins call it, Christmas Weekend.
The ‘Canes looked awesome. The first team was crisp and looked ready to take on Ohio State. The ‘Canes could have either beaten FAMU by 45 neatly or sloppily. This was an evisceration of the first degree and definitely fell in the neat category.
Jacory was a man on a mission and was sharp in his half. Leonard Hankerson cannot be covered. The defensive line looked amazing, and the run game was very effective. I particularly enjoyed coming out in a no-huddle attack.
Personally, I think Miami is going to try and turn the Ohio State game in to a track meet. The no-huddle, up tempo offense is the best way to do that, and at the very least the Bucks have to gameplan for it now. It is also a good way to minimize the burden on the offensive line. If Ohio State tries to get in to a shootout with the ‘Canes, they will lose.
Personally, I feel very confident about the game. I have no doubt Miami will score points; it is a matter of if they can keep enough off the board.
I have some doubts as well. I did not like that we lost contain on FAMU’s quarterback a few times, and we have to clean up the tackling. I still have a good feeling about 9/11, however.
OSU is talented, no doubt. BUT…they are not as explosive as Miami and will rely on Terrelle Pryor to win the game. If Miami can keep him in the pocket, force him to throw the ball in the flats and avoid mistakes of their own, I think they will win the game. Essentially, playing the game the right way and executing the gameplan will result in a victory. Otherwise, it will be a long ride back from Colombus to Miami.
What else did we learn? Well, not really a whole lot.
Jacory looked great.
Virginia Tech is still Virginia Tech.
Florida is NOT the 4th best team in the country.
Before we go any further, let’s hand out the Week 1 Stein on the Sidelines Sorority Superlatives
.
“Gay Bar Scene From American Wedding” Award
That goes to us as ‘Canes fans for organizing the Hollywood Area Alumni Watch Party at a place called The Happy Ending. Personal favorite actually. I was really excited that we were having it there, as I frequent the place almost every weekend with my buddies. I had never seen it in the daylight. Well, remember when Stiffler looks around after hitting on some babe and realizes that he is surrounded by gays on all sides? Well, I looked up after about five minutes on Thursday and realized that I was surrounded on all sides by Buckeyes. Yep, we scheduled our watch party at an Ohio State bar. Highlight: aside from slaughtering FAMU, I got to participate in a “We Are Mar-Shall” chant when The Herd blocked an OSU kick and scored. Lowlight: realizing that every one of the babes I had been checking out (who knew?) was actually a Buckeye fan. Womp womp.
“Holy Sh*t That Guy is Fast!” Award
Lamar Miller looked like he was gliding around on rails all night. He was very fun to watch and will definitely be a weapon. My favorite was when he beat the fullback through the hole on a
lead run. For anyone that knows anything about football, that is an amazing feat.
“Dennis Green ‘They Are Who We Thought They Were!’” Award
Virginia Tech was 1-25 all time against Top 5 opponents. They didn’t wake up until the second quarter, managed to come back from a 17 point deficit to lead for most of the second half, and then lost on a series of terrible play calls (and one terrible penalty). So much for a national title run this year Hokies. Make that 1-26.
“Any Given Sunday Terrible Uniforms” Award
Keeping it in the VTech vs. Boise matchup. Tech actually looked cool. Boise, not so much. However, one thing is absolutely sure: these were some bizarre uniforms . I half expected Tyrod Taylor’s jersey to say “Beamen” on the back and for Oliver Stone to be announcing the game.
“Barack Obama False Hype” Award
Every season, Michigan and Notre Dame win their first game and we hear how great they are. Let’s keep in mind that Notre Dame was playing Robert Marve, who is talented yet so
predictable that I called “interception” on a play in the first quarter just after he took the snap. What did he do? Throw a pick. Not the most inspiring opponent. Meanwhile, Michigan stomped UConn, a tough opponent. However, isn’t Michigan supposed to stomp UConn at home on opening weekend?
Best Back Story
Dan and Billy Stein. We were at a wedding in Charlotte for the weekend and by the end of the first night were telling chicks that I worked for CBS in Los Angeles (true), he worked for the firm that Mad Men is based on in New York (false), and our father is the Governor of Florida (REALLY false). Best part was this: a good amount of the chicks bought it.
Turd in the Punch Bowl
That would be the Gators performance against Miami (Ohio). Man they sucked. The stage was set for John Brantley to have a huge day against a bad opponent to start the season and get the hype maching rolling. Instead, the Gators struggled to put away a bad team at home and had 25 yards…total…halfway through the third quarter.
SIDENOTE: My parents were listening to this one on the radio when my mom, who could not care less about college football 99% of the time, figured out what the Gators announcers were doing when they repeatedly referred to UiF as “the Gators” and Miami (Ohio) as “Miami” instead of “the Redhawks”. If my mother can figure out that their team and entire fan base is a bunch of ninnies, don’t you think everyone else should be able to as well?
Tragic Comedy
Ole Miss going down to Jacksonville State as my brother followed on his phone. Sitting at the dinner for this wedding. His “Damn it!” exclamation came in the middle of a toast. High comedy.
When Ray Ray Armstrong, wearing number 26, dove in for the Pick 6 touchdown. It was eerily reminiscent of the Sean Taylor play in the 2003 Mud Bowl game against FSU. Let's be clear: Armstrong is NOT Sean Taylor. But he looked like him on that play. I'd be lying if I said it didn't get a little dusty at my table for that one. Or when Graig Cooper made his return to the field. Alright, so maybe I'm a sap. But still, those were two great moments.
Best Tweet
@jstevenroot: Ba da bad a ba bum bum bum…TEQUILA!
A+ for effort.
Best Lesson to Take Away:
Look out Suckeyes.
Always guard the inbound passer.
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