Week 2 Preview

Hello All,

Alright, not much time to write this week. That is what working 60 hour weeks between 2 jobs and somehow finding time for the gym will do to you. Especially in a town wherein it takes 45 minutes to drive 7 miles. And yet, I digress.

Anyway, time for the weekly picks, which I completely forgot about last week in my excitement over Miami football being back and figuring out how to pack up for a weekend out of town now that I am old and have things to worry about such as: my car not getting stolen while I am gone OR my apartment not catching fire.

Away we go:

Alabama over Penn State: this one really is not even worth a description. Penn State, perenially overrated, takes a team lead by a freshman quarterback into Tuscaloosa for a night game. Point blank.

Instead, let me talk about this week's "why women are insane" story. So there I am, minding my own business, waiting in line to buy cold cuts at Ralph's. Behind me is, like, this totally upset, like, valley girl.

This girl decided that she needed to talk to her girlfriend, loudly, on her I-Phone about her very emotioal breakup. Which went something like this (keep in mind that this is in public and very loud):

Girl Behind Me: "It was, like, so crazy. I just don't understand why he did it. And I have been so motivated since then to just, like, look awesome."

Orders slice of pizza as unheard friend responds

Girl Behind Me: "Yeah, so then I was like 'Are we ever going to talk again'. And he said 'no'. So then I called him and it was like SOOO awkward."

Stein on the Sidelines fails to stifle the laughter

Girl Behind Me: "Omg, I think these people are totally listening to me."

Girl stops talking for literally 7 seconds

Girl Behind Me: "Ok, so yeah. We both got our tests back. I am totally good. I mean, I made sure to run it twice. It immediately went to blue."

Stein on the Sidelines ponders how on Earth this girl ever got dumped

Annnnndddddddd scene.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why women are insane.

Georgia over South Carolina: UGA gets the road upset. Although, I am not sure if it should be an upset. I mean, has South Carolina ever won one of these hyped up big games? Shout out to the first person that can name me one.

Jon Hamm over The Field: Yep, I am pumped for The Town. Gritty looking trailer. Blake Lively. Ben Affleck...the director. That guy from The Hurt Locker. And yes, Jon Hamm, my boy. Hmmmm, let's see, Don Draper or a bunch of dudes from Southie robbing banks in nun outfits while at the same time violating bank robber rule number one and catching a case of Reverse Stockholm Syndrome (understansable in the case of Lively, but still a bad move)? I will take Don Draper.

Oregon over Tennessee: Not the blowout that most are expecting.

FSU over Oklahoma: In the upset in Norman. Both teams could score in the fifties. FSU is like a chick. They have no clue what they want. Do they want to be the team that barely beats Jacksonville State or the team that goes on the road the following week and stomps out BYU? Both happened last season, and this team looks better than that one. And this year they aren't struggling with the Jacksonville States of the world.

USF over UiF: Now THIS is an upset special. .

In conclusion, I will not pick the Miami game, as per my own personal tradition. But allow me to share an antecdote about why I want this win so badly.

I was texting my buddy the other day about the game. He went to Ohio University. Not Ohio State. Still, anyone from Ohio thinks they are automatically a Buckeyes fan just because they own a pair of shorts that has a Buckeye on it.

He said "I can't wait to see you pissed off after the game".

I said "Ohio State is so good I don't know why we are even bothering to play".

He said "That's a bad attitude for life man". I am assuming there was no sarcasm; it isn't really his thing.

This perfectly encapsulates this matchup. First, their fans have given no thought to Miami actually winning. It doesn't compute for them. Regardless of the fact that every time they play a warm weather team early in the season with speed to burn they lose. I am not saying that they are slow, because I don't think they are. But if they want to base things off of our record the least 5 years, they should not forget their own.

Second, he actually was arrogant enough to think that I was being serious about not showing up to play them. Like it is a common occurrence that teams would rather not show up then take the guaranteed loss to the mighty might Buckeyes.

Just thinking about this has me riled up.

Go 'Canes. I want blood.