Every summer, I write up a preview of what to expect from the roster the next season. This is my fourth year doing it. Which means the fourth year in a row I will be giving a ceiling and floor for the Northwestern Crew. Weird.
WARNING: There are a lot of parenthetical asides here…not really sure how this happened but it did. I’m like the Larry King of the ‘Canes world. I can’t figure out if I should be proud of it or not.
QB
Last season started with Jacory as a fringe Heisman Candidate and ended with me being thoroughly convinced that the skinny true freshman who was supposed to redshirt and be a career backup was the best option for the team. Combined, the ‘Canes QBs lead the nation in interceptions thrown, which, it turns out, means you lose a lot of games. The battle is ongoing for who will start. Smart money is on Jacory to win the job, but both have a lot of work to do.
Jacory Harris, Sr.
One final season - this time, it’s for keeps.
(Sorry, I was just trying to figure out what the tag line would be if they made “Transformers 4” about Jacory’s senior year)
I can remember two other times coming into a QB’s senior year just having no clue what I was going to get:
Brock Berlin, 2004
I always thought he was ill-served by Dan Werner, who insisted on keeping him under center. In the middle of the season he was benched, which ignited a small race war in the community as folks debated the “merits” of Berlin and his backup, the immortal Derrick Crudup.
(I think that list looked something like this: Brock Berlin- awesome out of shotgun, which we only run when we are losing in the final 5 minutes, and is white; Derrick Crudup- can run really fast, but unfortunately isn’t so great with the “forward pass”, and is a black guy)
Berlin eventually ended up having an All-ACC type of year (which really speaks to the strength of the ACC more than anything else) and is the answer to the question “When was the last time the Miami Hurricanes had a solid, consistent starting quarterback?” If Jacory has that season this year I will be a very happy man.
Kyle Wright, 2007
I made so many excuses for this guy it wasn’t even funny. I thought he could be Carson Palmer (talented “bust” for 3.5 seasons who finally gets it halfway through his senior year and steals a Heisman trophy) if his o-line would block (sacked 9 times in his first career start), his receivers would catch (Lance Leggett? Ryan Moore? Aikeem Jolla?), he would have the same offensive coordinator for consecutive years (he had 4 in 5 years), he would stop falling asleep behind me in Econ (not that we all didn't, the teacher really sucked- damn it, another excuse)…etc.
I still think some of those excuses have merit.
Bottom line, however, is this: the guy got spooked during his first year as a starter, when he was sacked roughly 749 times, and never recovered from the Happy Feet. Like Footsteps Falco in The Replacements. Except he never got to play as a replacement player, do the Electric Slide in jail as a bonding experience with this teammates, take the city on a feel-good run to the playoffs, improve relations with the deaf or slay the hot cheerleader. I think he is selling pharmaceuticals in the Bay Area. Sigh…
Anyway, back to Jacory.
If you give me “First 6 games Sophomore Year” Jacory Harris, I am happier than my brother when the girl doesn't throw her drink in his face.
If you give me “I Am So Beaten Up From Being Sacked and Playing Hurt / Pissed Off At My Receivers For Dropping Passes That I am Just Going To Go Into a Weirder Place Than Mike Tyson After He Bit Off Evander Holyfield’s Ear and Start Throwing Bad Interceptions That Would Make Brett Favre Blush and Just Go To the Sideline and Stare Straight Ahead” Jacory Harris then…ya know what, just keep him.
Ceiling: Plays with swag, gets the ball to his guys in the right places, does not LEAD THE NATION IN INTERCEPTIONS.
Floor: Have you watched his last, I don’t know, 15 STARTS!?!?!?!?!? THAT is his floor.
Stephen Morris, Sophomore
Very raw (cliché alert!) but has a strong arm, can move around and played with heart. Was the
only kid on offense that seemed to be pissed off during the Notre Dame game, and that left a mark on me (not literally). He played with swag (cliché alert!) and lead two memorable late game comebacks, one in a game he really had no shot at (Virginia…thank you Spencer Whipple) and one which he won (Maryland).(Wow, I can’t believe I just said that we had “memorable comebacks” against Virginia and Maryland. One of which was a futile comeback…meaning we didn’t even win the effing game and it sticks out to me as a highlight of the season. Excuse me for a second while I take a run through morning traffic.)
If everything is equal, I say start him this season and begin moving the transition forward.
Ceiling: Willie Beamen after he throws up
Floor: Willie Beamen before he throws up
Spencer Whipple, ??
Does anyone know how many years this kid has left? Anyone?!?!?!?!
I’m too lazy to look it up because I just assume he is gone after this year anyway. He’s on his third college…somewhere along the line he had to have accrued enough credits to be on major number 7 by now. And hey, maybe he can one day become an offensive coordinator like his dad and call for a strict diet of downfield passing plays even though his quarterbacks clearly operate best out of a run-heavy, play action offense. Not that I’m bitter.
Anyway, if he is playing than the following probably has happened:
Scenario 1: Jacory and Morris were in a tandem bicycling accident (watch out!).
Scenario 2: Jacory slept in because he was up late watching Spongebob and Morris got hurt (hey now!).
Scenario 3: Jacory and Morris BOTH get hurt. At halftime Golden snags the chick that throws the football into the net at halftime during the Maroone halftime contest and SHE gets hurt. Golden tries to sneak Gino Torretta back onto the field from the press box and HE gets hurt. Then, and only then, Golden looks down the bench to Whipple and says “just…go…whatever” as he breathes an exhausted sigh of disbelief.
(In this third scenario, Golden then goes home and calls a hit man while he updates his resume for the Penn State opening)
Ceiling: Looks fantastic in a backwards hat holding the clipboard and signaling in play calls, making Jake Byrne proud.
Floor: Gets on the field and looks like Stein on the Sidelines-too small, too slow, about to soil himself.
Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR Miami Hurricanes quarterbacks!
Also, my next post will be my 100th since I left college. If anyone of my 7 readers has anything they want me to write about in it I would love suggestions. Or I could just post the same non-sense as usual. Either way.
100 posts? Not too shabby, sir. Love the football movie references as long as its not Rudy. Also, it might be a bad sign if you have to include clips from The Program. Anyway, the picture painted here doesn't seem too rosy but I'll take it. Either Jacory has to step up or Morris does. Time for one of them to become the man. Right from the beginning of the baseball season I knew I'd have to count on Freddy Garcia OR Bartolo Colon OR Ivan Nova. Obviously no aces there, but they've ALL stepped up. All we can do is place our faith in the team. Unfortunately its only June, so speculation at this point seems futile. (Especially on my part.) I look forward to more posts as the march towards opening kickoff continues.
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