Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Plaque For the Alternates Is Down In the Ladies Room

Hello All,

Ohio State* week cometh, and that right soon.

It is hard to say anything about this game that hasn’t already been said, probably in this space (repeatedly and perhaps superfluously).

Ohio State* is an enemy of almost unique scope:

We recruit against them for a few kids a year, but nothing like UiF, FSU or LSU (or even schools like UNC and USF).

They are not in our conference.

We have played them only a handful of times.

They are in the Midwest, we are in Coral Gables.

Of course, the rivalry stems from us getting screwed out of the 2003 National Title.

(Yes, “us”…I know I don’t play for the team but gosh darn it I am going to keep saying “us” anyway)

Because of that loss, we (Miami fans) not only hate the program, but we actively wish bad upon them: it is to the point that my hatred of OSU* clouds my perception of the entire state of Ohio, which is seemingly innocent and even pitiful to a certain degree.

(The past, I don’t know, 5 decades or so have not been kind to the Rust Belt)

To be so obsessed with a school we only get to play once every blue moon (insert UiF joke here) may not make sense, but it is reality.

(By the way, for all those Gator fans that didn’t understand that joke, it means you are all pansies. I figured I would slow it down given your current rank outside the Top 50 universities in America. FSU fans…I can draw you a picture?)

Just like last year, this game will come down to Miami being able to execute. And even then, it will be tough.

A lot has been made of the loss of Terrelle Pryor at quarterback for the Buckeyes, as well as suspended starters Boom Herron, Devier Posey and Mike Adams. However, do not let this fool you: OSU* will be just as tough to beat as ever.

There is a saying in EPL Soccer (yes…soccer…Stein on the Sidelines is worldly): Class over Form.

Translation: Old Money beats Nouveau Riche. For the same reason Miami will be considered an elite program for eternity, OSU* will never be an easy win. They have the blueprint for winning and it is proven effective on a large scale. The stigma that comes from being an “elite” program often times covers up for talent not up to the usual standard, because simply putting on the uniform says something about the player wearing it (at least to opponents).

OSU* will be less dynamic this year, but then again, their game has never come down to dynamism. They are like Iceman in Top Gun…they stay on your ass until you make a mistake, and then you’re dead. They are predictable. They will line’ em up on offense and try to blow you off the line and control the ball, occasionally looking downfield. They will use their tight end (which is great, because Miami NEVER struggles with tight ends). They will play very good defense. Tried and true.

In that light, the ‘Canes are Maverick. Miami is just as talented but flashier and capable of occasional genius; they make this shit look good. They feel the need…the need for speed. On any given Saturday, they could light it up and win by two or three touchdowns. But they have demons. They have a past that keeps jumping up and biting them. And just like Maverick, more often than not the only one that can beat Miami is Miami.

In order to win, Miami has to be a little bit more like OSU*, which is antithetical. OSU* may be slow, but they are physical and disciplined.

(For the record, OSU* is not THAT slow)

Against Maryland, Miami was undone in the first quarter by a bad gameplan. After that, they were undone by penalties and turnovers. The gameplan, one must imagine, will be better with 60 minutes of game tape in the bank. The mistakes simply cannot be made against OSU*. OSU* is simply too talented and too cutthroat.

Maverick might have been the more exciting, and in a vacuum, talented pilot; the one that people remember. Iceman was pretty damn talented too, however. You don’t win the trophy by being consistently mediocre. You win the trophy by wearing out the opponent, fighting through the echo of the whistle, and imposing your will.

As Jacory Harris said, this will be a “dogfight”.

(Top Gun comes full circle, BOOM!)

Miami will win if they are able to combine their speed and athleticism with a little bit of OSU’s* lunch pail style of football, generated in the trenches and marked more often than not by the LACK of mistakes it generates.

We saw flashes of it against Maryland, with a pro-style gameplan that featured the run and leaned on running backs but was able to set up some shots down the field. However, those flashes were generally counterweighted by the type of “crash and burn” mistake that eventually lead to a loss against the Terps.

(Tried it one other time…it wasn’t pretty)

Suspensions or not, the Buckeyes* are better than Maryland. Miami must step up to the task or they will be looking down the barrel of a 0-2 start.

And now for this week’s picks, after a 7-3 performance that raised my record to 9-6 for the season:

Boise over Toledo (+19.5)

Toledo undone by the crash after the sugar buzz that was their near upset of the Buckeyes.

FIU (-4.5) over UCF

Is FIU this year’s Baylor for Stein on the Sidelines? I will certainly keep going to the well until it runs dry (and probably even after).

West Virginia over Maryland (-1)

Something tells me the Mountaineers will be ready for the flanker screen.

Kentucky (-7) over Louisville

Screw you Louisville. Go to hell.

Tennessee over UiF (-8.5)

UPSET SPECIAL!

Michigan State over Notre Dame (+4)

0-3 isn’t a good look on you Brian Kelly

UCLA (+3.5) over Texas
Texas just sucks to watch. This is kind of an emotional pick. Plus side: this is an even better uniform matchup than FSU-OU or Miami-OSU*.

Auburn over Clemson (-4)

I just like picking road teams this week I guess. Probably a bad strategy.

Oklahoma over FSU (+3)

FSU does not cover. FSU, UiF and Notre Dame all lose on the same day. Hopefully OSU* joins them.

Always guard the inbound passer.

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