Arkansas State Hate Week

Know what I hate most about Arkansas State? The feeling of impending doom.

This is the “little brother” school in the state of freakin’ Arkansas, is on its 5^th coach in as many seasons, and has a “Red Wolf” for a mascot. Whatever the F that is.

Their greatest hope every year is to win the Go Daddy Papa John’s Humanitarian.com Bowl…and yet they have a very reasonable hope of beating us in our own place this weekend.

Arkansas is the West Virginia of the Southeast. Sure, it is pretty and you can find decent people there, but mostly it is a bunch of methed out Bible thumpers with this weird college football superiority complex based in…pretty much nothing.

The University of Arkansas has a fan base that makes our chinstrap beard-wearing, ear pierced, Pitbull worshipping hordes look intelligent and sane…so I guess by default I don’t hate Arkansas State that much, because WOW look what they could be.  Dodged a bullet on that one.

I honestly am kind of out of shit to talk about here.

Their campus is in Jonesboro. Far as I can tell the most interesting thing about Jonesboro is the 1931 Church War, when the National Guard was called in to stop a battle between the followers of Joe Jeffers and a pastor named Dow H. Heard. I know nothing about this other than what I just read on Wikipedia…but any dude named Dow probably deserved to lose that war. On the other hand Joe Jeffers makes me think of Warren Jeffs, so maybe HE deserved to lose that war.

What the shit am I even talking about at this point?

Arkansas State’s most famous alumni include Cleo Lemon and Fred Barnett (as a Dolphins fan I say F both these guys) and Mike Beebe, the current Governor of Arkansas. This guy seems like he is actually a pretty decent Governor who steered Arkansas pretty well clear of the financial crisis, arguably even more so than Rick Perry did in Texas despite far less notoriety.

I literally Googled “Mike Beebe Scandal” and one of the results pages said “No controversys (sic) have been entered for this representative”. I gave up right after that. Maybe this dude loves hookers and blow. I hope he does. But I guess I will probably never know.

This is easily the most boring Hate Week I have ever done. If I can’t even come up with something mean to say about a sitting Southern governor, maybe it is time for me to stop.

Arkansas State has a running quarterback and a quick hitter offense that masks their greatest weakness, their young offensive line.

On defense they return 11 starters, so that whole thing where we blow at converting 3^rd downs (3-23 through 2 games)…yeah that’s not changing. Get ready for the excuse making.

Arkansas State just played Tennessee over the weekend. Tennessee won 31-17 but it wasn’t pretty. I honestly think we could be in a bigger world of shit, because at least one side of the ball at Tennessee knows what it is doing (the offense). More than I can say for us.

I hate this game.