Senior Day

Hello All,

Well, this is kind of strange. We have reached the end of another season, and this one seemed to go by faster than any in history.

It is not time for final reflection yet, as there is still more football to be played.

However, I think it is safe to say that the depression that is my life for 8 months a year with no ‘Canes football has begun to set in.

Win or lose, the ‘Canes give me something to look forward to every week. Watching these kids go out and compete and grow is my favorite thing.

One of my co-workers was talking to me the other day and said “You should be glad you have your thing. You are more passionate about the ‘Canes than anyone in this office is about anything. It keeps you going. I can’t honestly say I have a thing and that is kind of sad.”

She was absolutely right. But before this turns into a cry fest, it is time for final reflection on one group of players.

Saturday is the last home game for a Miami senior class that has actually turned into The U’s best in five years.

Roll Call

Damien Berry, RB – Berry has been my favorite player for 4 years. He initially came in as a safety and played injured his freshman year, making a contribution only on special teams. After a mostly non-descript sophomore season he made the switch to running back, where most thought he would get lost on the depth chart. Instead, Berry became UM’s best runner since a healthy, in-shape Tyrone Moss and will leave as a fan favorite after two seasons of hard-nosed, take no prisoners running.

Graig Cooper, RB – Coop is another personal favorite who was derided by fans for years for no reason. He made plays, ran hard and did the best with what he was given. Sometimes he danced too much, and his speed wasn’t all that was advertised. Still, he was an all everything recruit that stuck by his ‘Cane commitment when everything was going wrong. He played hard despite being surrounded by mediocre talent for two seasons and will end up a Top 5 statistical player in the history of the program that will stick with an NFL team.

Leonard Hankerson, WR – What can I say about Hank that hasn’t already been said this season? The kid was labeled a bust after two seasons. I wrote that “there is no point in having a receiver that cannot catch the ball…move him to linebacker” back when I was writing my column in the school paper. Boy did he prove us all wrong. He committed himself through tireless work in the offseason and has now put together arguably the strongest two year statistical stretch of any receiver in program history. He still drops some easy ones but has become UM’s Go-To Guy in almost every situation and has positioned himself as a high draft pick. He will do great things and will probably be the most missed of all the seniors next season.

Allen Bailey, DL- The Freakshow seems like he just got here from his Island home in Georgia. He lost his freshman year to an ill-advised experiment at Middle Linebacker and was learning on the fly his sophomore year. After being shuttled back and forth between tackle and end for the last two seasons, it seemed like Bailey was always on the verge of a massive breakout where he put together 2 or 3 dominant games in a row. It never happened, and he is one of those guys you wish you could have for a couple more seasons. He is a member of the All Time Freak team for Miami and will be a first round pick based solely on potential. He showed glimpses throughout his career; hopefully some position stability will allow him to reach his Suh-like potential.

Matt Bosher, K/P- Bosh was the toughest kicker I have ever seen. He was also damned good. A little streaky as a placekicker but phenomenal as a punter, Bosher will forever be remembered for his willingness (eagerness?) to not only come up and tackle but also come up and lay the wood; this was important, given our coverage teams’ complete inability to cover kicks lately. My favorite moment will always be when he recovered his own onside kick in the Champs Sports Bowl (which I prefaced by saying “the only way we will recover this is if Bosh gets in there because he’s all we got”) that lead to my brother saying “If we had a sister Bosher could definitely f*ck her right now”. Others include his personal foul penalty for body slamming an FSU kick returner and his going down into the scrum to rip away an onside kick recovery in a doomed comeback attempt against Virginia this year. I never thought I would be this invested in a freakin’ kicker, but this is not a normal kicker.

Colin McCarthy, LB- If you can get past expecting him to be Dan Morgan (just because he is white and plays the same position and wears the same number) then he had a pretty damned good career. Was a little slow and not great in coverage, but the guy was mean and nasty and played with a chip on his shoulder. Also holds the current heavyweight title belt for banging slutty Delta Gammas and D Phi Es. Another likely 3rd-5th round pick that will make an impact somewhere in the league.

Orlando Franklin, T- Franklin was a three year starter at guard and then moved to left tackle. He will be a guard in the NFL, where his size will play well and his semi-slow feet can be hidden. I loved Franklin at guard but have been disappointed this year with his mental game at tackle, as he has repeatedly false started and been called for holding. Franklin will be missed more than some folks think, and he has certainly been a program leader. He will most likely be a mid round pick in the draft and will one day be saying “The U” on Sunday Night Football.

Pat Hill, FB- One of my favorites because of his unselfishness. Was very content with blasting linebackers for three years and clearing the way for other guys to get stats. Hill will be hard to replace, as was evident last year when the running game slumped after he was hurt.

DeMarcus Van Dyke, CB- A great cover corner who almost never got beat but also had NO ball skills. Is in the same camp with Coop when it comes to uncalled for personal attacks by fans. Will not be drafted but his speed will get him a shot and he might be this year’s Sam Shields if he can learn to tackle.

Joel Figeuroa, OL- Good guy, good run blocker, that’s about it. Wish him well.

Ryan Hill, CB- This was the ultimate company man. Moved from DB to WR as a highly touted frosh because we needed bodies. Made some big catches but was too inconsistent, so switched back to DB halfway through his career. Worked for two years and finally got on the field for his senior season, where he won a starting spot and…gasp…made some plays on the ball. Also, as an aside, was a very nice guy and my roommate Graham’s favorite player.

Josh Holmes, DT- Role player who really never lived up to his potential as an inside pass rusher. Most of his time was spent as a body in the rotation, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Kylan Robinson, LB- Came in as a record setting running back but could not gain any traction and was moved to linebacker. Career highlight was starting this year’s season opener. Really, that was about it.

JoJo Nicolas, S- He might be back next year, I am just putting him on here as wishful thinking. Nothing personal, he’s just not good at all and takes minutes from young guys for some reason.

Richard Gordon, TE- Freak show that looks like Tarzan and plays like Jane. Was a good run blocker but looked about as coordinated as a giraffe trying to take a piss while walking on a frozen pond when going out on a pass route.

Jared Campbell, S- Not sure if he is a senior but this was a guy who maxed out his minimal talent (which still didn’t lead to much production) and was a benefit to have on the scout team.

Corey Nelms, DB- Walk on special teams guy who made an impact with some big hits over his career and shows the value of working in conjunction with the track team.


To each of them, I thank you for your time in a transitory phase of the program and wish you the best of luck.

Quick Picks (Doing these early Friday morning):

‘Bama over Auburn
West Virginia over Pitt
Nebraska over Colorado
Oregon over Arizona
Ohio State over Michigan
Michigan State over Penn State
Kansas over Mizzou (Upset Special!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Arkansas over LSU
The SAT over UiF and FSU
Utah over BYU
Wisco over Northwestern
Clemson over The Real USC
Oklahoma over Oklahoma State (BEDLAM!!!!!)
The Meteor over Notre Dame and USC (I can hope, right?)

Real Los Angelenos?

Hello All,

You know what I get asked a lot?

"How the hell did you develop such stunning, magnificent pectoral muscles?"

Not really. What I do get asked a lot is why I hate the Lakers if I live in LA. Well, aside from the fact that rooting on a team just because you moved somewhere when you are 23 breaks just about every law of fandom (with the possible exception of the LMU Lions Women's Swim Team...bones), I hate them for several reasons. One is that Kobe Bryant is a bad person and yet people seem to have completely forgotten Colorado. Another is that I know that the LA fan base is the second most fair weather in the country (the first?... if you have to ask that you haven't read this blog enough). Another is that Pau Gasol averages .14 showers for every game played. Another is that purple and yellow are dumb uniform colors that have rubbed me the wrong way since I was 5. Honestly, the list goes on and on.

And the follow up question is usually something like this: "Well you can't be a true Los Angeleno if you don't like the Lakers."

My usual response, aside from laughter at the notion that I would want to be a Los Angeleno, is to state that NO ONE IN THIS TOWN IS FROM HERE. Everyone here is a transplant, either from the East Coast, the Valley, the Bay Area or Mexico (be it legally or illegally....which brings up my next question: If the word illegal is inherent to the term "illegal alien", then why all the fuss about their right to be here?). I have been here about 2 months and met literally 3 people who are actually from the Los Angeles Metro Area. 3.

What is the point of this rant?

I guess it is just to tell a story about people that have a ridiculous outlook on reality and to try and connect it to the fans of the University of Miami. For some reason, there is a disconnect between what is happening and what people perceive. People see a young team failing at times last year and assume that now, a year later with almost every key player returning, the team is doomed to the same growing pains. Are they? Maybe, but is that a logical assumption to make.

The lack of logic and constructive thought on the part of 'Canes fans right now is crazy to me. Any other fan base in the nation would be PUMPED for this coming season. A team full of young guys that all of a sudden have become upperclassmen lead by a star quarterback and brimming with young talent getting ready to face the toughest schedule in the country. THAT is exciting stuff when you take in to account the fact that this team has progressed every season and logically will do so again this season.

Maybe no group is more indicative of this than the secondary, which I will break down here. People assume they will fail again to make game saving plays. Well, logically speaking, I have to disagree with that. Just like I have to be excited for the season, even if other "fans" are already writing the epitaph for this team 4 days in to practice.

DEFENSIVE BACKS

The Season That Was: The secondary takes a lot of guff, but it is this blogger’s opinion that they actually were underrated. They did not make as many game changing plays as you would like to see, but they also were forced to cover for LONG periods of time due to the lack of pass rush generated. If you look at the four losses, the secondary was responsible for none. Virginia Tech was a full team collapse, UNC was lost (and then almost won) by Jacory Harris, Clemson was won by C.J. Spiller and Alex Uribe, and Wisconsin was won by the UW tight ends. Brandon Harris is very good opposite DeMarcus Van Dyke, who was better in coverage than he gets credit for. Sam Shields performed admirably for a guy learning a position on the fly, which is not to say that he played very well. All in all, there was promise shown by all members, and the combination of experience and a better pass rush will lead to more turnovers from this group.

What Was Lost: Sam Shields is fighting for a roster spot with the Green Bay Packers and Randy Phillips is doing the same with the Detroit Lions. Chavez Grant is gone, pursuing other career options.

Roll Call

DeMarcus Van Dyke (Sr.) – DVD is very good in coverage. Period. If you want proof, look at how many balls Brandon Harris had thrown his way, even as he kept batting them down. DVD is pretty bad in run support and lacks the playmaking bug, but he is the type of guy that you want on your side rather than the other guys’.

JoJo Nicolas (Jr.) – Injury plagued and not very productive when on the field. It is my hope that he is a special teams-only player this year, as he has taken one bad route and missed one tackle too many for me at this point.

Jared Campbell (Jr.) – Campbell made some plays last year and will be in the safety rotation if he can stay healthy. Not great in pass coverage but can support the run and blitz off the edge. Useful player that finds a way to help out.

Brandon Harris (Jr.) – All American Candidate and the leader of the secondary. Truly well spoken kid that gets “it”. Expect teams to avoid him a little more this year, which will open up some possibilities for other guys to make plays. Harris plays bigger than his size and is very well rounded, but needs to convert more deflections in to interceptions.

Corey Nelms (Jr.) – Former walk-on who has earned the chance to be more than a special teams guy. Will compete for the nickel and dime roles in addition to last year’s role as resident gunner. Track athlete who is amongst the fastest guys on the field.

Vaughn Telemaque (So.) – Has locked down one safety spot. Proved to be good in run support and now must prove to be a playmaker in the other half of the game, which everyone around the program seems to observe as a given.

Ray Ray Armstrong (So.) – Excited everyone when he lit up DeMarco Murray in the Oklahoma game. Like Telemaque, has to prove that he can be as good in the pass game as he is in the run game if he wants to hold off Jamal Reid.

Brandon McGee (So.) – Still learning the corner position but is very fast (track competitor) and will be given the first crack at the third corner/nickel back role. Also could return kicks. Some have said he was this summer’s most improved player after a rough spring game. Going up against Miami’s receivers everyday will make him better in a hurry.

Jamal Reid (R-Fr.) – Reid has emerged as a potential starter and will battle Ray Ray for his starting spot at safety. Reid is very athletic and has gone from someone that needed work on tackling to one of the secondary’s most physical players. Potential return man.

Latwan Anderson (Fr.) – Technically not on scholarship yet, but Anderson is almost a shoe-in to see the field at some point this year. The only question is when. He could play corner, safety or receiver, but will definitely be a returner.

Devonta’a Davis (Fr.) – Getting rave reviews so far in the summer, and could play either corner or safety. Tall and physical, best bet of the four true freshmen on football scholarship to get playing time as a freshman.

Kacy Rogers (Fr.) – Rogers is a good athlete from Texas that will be tried first at corner but most likely shifted to safety, according to coaches. Father is a professional coach for the Dolphins which means Rogers should have a leg up when it comes to football intelligence.

Keion Payne (Fr.) – Tall and skinny but a true cover guy, like DVD. Will have the benefit of a redshirt to put on weight, which DVD never did.

Always guard the inbound passer.

An Inch or a Mile,A Win is a Win

Hello All,

Yes, I just quoted Vin Diesel in my title. You know why? Because I could.

Another good reason to quote Vin Diesel? Thanks to this Hurricane team, I am aging about as well as Vin...for anyone that saw his last movie, you know exactly how terrible a thing that is.

PRE GAME:

• Thank God, Lee Corso picked Wake in the upset. We have enough working against us with a 3:30 start time on the road in chilly rainy conditions (sound familiar?). We do not need another unanimous vote of confidence from the guys on Gameday. Also, props to ESPN for running an excellent piece on Chris Hayes, a guy I had classes with and one of the nicest kids at the university.
• This is the combination that we are greeted by when ABC cuts over from the Raycom coverage of FSU vs. NCSU to the Miami game: green pants, clouds, rain and Brian Griese. FUCK.

1st QTR


• Miami opens up with a ten yard end around to Travis Benjamin. I love the play call, and the message it sends: if you can’t beat our speed, you are going to lose the game.
• As if to spite me, the ‘Canes then go three and out. Sometimes, I just want to punch myself. Oh, and just to make things interesting, Wake Forest almost blocks the punt. Miami’s upback, John Calhoun, failed to notice the guy dressed in black from head to toe come flying around the corner. Who would’ve thought that Wake might actually send a guy around the edge to try and block a punt, right?
• Early on Wake’s opening drive, Sam Shields gets called for a personal foul, in the least surprising turn in history. Also, the broadcast production unit seems to think that the TV audience wouldn’t want to actually see the foul. Actually, maybe a good idea, because as it is I was on the verge of hysterics with my old buddy Shields, who I have been writing bad things about for 3 seasons, mostly when he does something like commit a personal foul in a close game or drop 75% of the balls thrown his way. Not that I am bitter.
• Wake Forest hits a big play across midfield to their stud receiver, and a couple plays later has moved the ball to the 5 yard line. However, Miami stiffens up and forces a field goal. (3-0 WF)
• Damien Berry gets his first two carries and turns them into a first down after breaking something like 27 tackles. Jacory hits Aldarious Johnson on a pretty playaction pass, but the drive dies and Miami punts again.
• This just in from my buddy Justin, who is nothing if not extreme in his love for the Hurricanes: “Whipps needs to run the ball more.” Ladies and gentlemen, life as an offensive coordinator! Remember, this is the same guy we were all pissed at last week when he ran the ball to win the game. I don’t think anything short of all the gold in Fort Knox could convince me to be the offensive coordinator at the University of Miami.
• Riley Skinner makes an amazing throw, throwing an out in to the flat across the field as he is dragged to the ground. Sometimes, you can’t even get mad.
• Miami has actually been blitzing early, and yet Skinner keeps beating it. Even when the blitz is timed right and the coverage is good, he is fitting the ball in to tight windows after a quick read. When the quarterback is playing like this he cannot be beat. Period.
• Miami gets called for defensive holding, which I am pretty is damn near impossible to get called for on a short pass play. And people wonder why I despise referees. Also, Wake Forest scores a touchdown. (10- 0 WF)
• Classy move by ABC, lingering on a sign that says “TH ll_ _ll GS”. Completely unrelated, but this is starting to look like the ‘Canes are going to let Clemson beat them two weeks in a row.
• Miami starts the next drive with a first down on a screen to Mike James and then hits a 31 yard pass play to Hank. This is of course followed by a false start and punt. Which Bosher kicks through the goal posts. Net gain on this punt: 15 yards. Brilliant.

2nd QTR

• Wake runs for two first downs and then Skinner catches one. Yep, you read that right. This is bordering on the absurd.
• Russo texts me and says “Does Colin have to do everything?” Yes. Yes he does. And right now, he isn’t doing ANYTHING.
• Riley Skinner scores on a quarterback draw. (17-0 WF)
• …speechless…
• I get something like 15 text messages all at once that vary on the same theme: “Are you f$%king serious?”
• Miami comes out after a solid Mike James kick return in the hurry up offense…wait, the hurry up?! This actually makes so much sense that it can’t be real…
• First down…first down…TOUCHDOWN! This was completely set up by the hurry up, as Bob, errrr Brian, or whatever his name is astutely points out. Aldarious Johnson, we missed you. (17-7 WF)
• And Miami fails to do much of anything in kick coverage..Wake starts with the ball at the 35.
• Wake’s fullback catches a pass that Miami defended perfectly (this is the first of like 5 times I wrote something similar to this during the game).
• Allen Bailey picks up his 6th sack of the season on a blitz package to force a Wake punt. The coverage team flashes up a statistic that says Wake gave up 9 total punt return yards in all of 2008 and only 38 so far in 2009. WHAT?!?! That is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard.
• Miami cannot capitalize on a big play by Hank and punts. Wake goes down and scores a field goal, although they missed a surefire touchdown on a play when Miami only had 10 guys on the frickin’ field. (20-7 WF)
• Miami gets the ball with not much time left and my dad and I embrace for two kneel downs and Dan Stein firebombing the stadium. But then Jacory comes out in the shotgun and hits a big play to Collier…and Cooper rips off a big run…and Collier makes a big catch…and Damien Berry scores! Miami heads in to the half down 6, at 20-14, after recovering the squib kick and hitting a big play to Hank before running out of time.

Halftime

• My dad and I are so excited we have to go throw a football around. I am inspired by that last series. Cutthroat football at its best.

3rd QTR

• Bosher gets Miami’s first touchback of the season on the opening kickoff!!! In week 8. Yes, that deserves three exclamation points.
• Wake gets two quick firsts and then a blow job from the ref, who decides that Shields’s perfect coverage is pass interference. Shields recovers on the next play to force a fumble that Vaughn Telemaque recovers.
• Miami, of course, follows this momentum swing by going 3& out.
• Wake and Miami exchange 3&outs.
• Wake’s receiver makes another great catch to convert 3rd and 16. Skinner then converts 3rd & 9. Oh, and wait, another terrible P.I. call. Shocking! Wake beats a Cover Zero blitz for a touchdown. I’m not even mad, because it is me that has been calling for this for 7 games. (27-14 WF)
• Hanks makes a big catch before Jacory rolls into a sack, which leads to 2nd and 24, which leads to a draw play, which leads to Dan grabbing his Louisville Slugger and destroying the television set. That didn’t actually happen, but would anyone have blamed me?
• Jacory throws an interception instead of throwing it out of bounds and taking the punt.
• Bailey makes a big play to force Wake into 2nd and long, which leads to a punt, which surprisingly isn’t faked. Wake then bails Miami out of a muffed punt and bad field position with a…gasp…personal foul? THUGS!!!!!!!!! SCOUNDRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4TH QTR

• Jacory hits Hank for a first down and Miami goes back to the hurry up. Before 3rd down, ABC flashes up this fun little stat: Miami is 3/10 on 3rd down today. Great stuff. As if on cue, Jacory is sacked.
• Miami punts, which is followed by a pass interference call on DVD behind the line of scrimmage. Is that even possible? Shannon protests, and it does not even appear that the refs give him the time of day. This is the 500th straight game that Miami gets the short end of the officiating stick, a new record. Also, the next time someone calls an opponent for holding a Miami defensive end might give me a stroke. Also, why is it that the ‘Canes never are the beneficiary of a pass interference penalty?
• Wake misses a field goal, keeping Miami alive. Miami capitalizes by going 3 and out. They have 10 total yards in the half (or something like that).
• Wake muffs the Miami punt, which rolls around on the 2 for the most nerve wracking .34 seconds in sports before Shields jumps on it! First and goal from the 2 for the ‘Canes.
• Whipple calls a playaction pass for Jacory (to say I am puckered is an understatement), who completes it to a wide open Tervarris Johnson in the back of the end zone. The fact that Johnson is an asset this year is pretty much all you need to know about Whipple. (27-21 WF)
• ABC comes out of commercial with a shot of the Wake library. For the second time. I imagine going to school there probably sucks.
• Wake makes another ridiculous catch and converts a first down. Then, on 3rd and 5, Miami tips the ball three times before DVD comes down with it for his first career interception. First of all, this was the luckiest INT ever. Second, is it bad that our third year starting CORNERBACK just recorded his first career interception? Yes, yes it is. (Upon watching the highlights, I noticed DVD threw up 6 fingers after the play to honor Jasper Howard…that is one of the most badass things I have ever seen.)
• Miami, of course, cannot capitalize. Hank drops a pass and the ‘Canes punt.
• Skinner picks up a first down on a scramble but suffers a concussion. You hate to see it, but at this point I will take it.
• Wake’s backup picks up a first down and I get a sinking feeling for the first time that we might actually lose to Wake Effing Forest.
• Miami takes a bad timeout and then gives up a first down coming out of it, but gets bailed out by an offensive holding call. On 3rd and 17 with fewer than 3 minutes left, Miami digs deep and comes up with a sack. They then call timeout. And this is where we find out just how cool Jacory is under pressure.
• With 2:51 to go, Wake hits the luckiest punt ever, picking up roughly 15 yards on the bounce to pin the ‘Canes 82 yards away from the game winning touchdown.
• Collier makes a great play, but then a series of blunders (including another Hank drop) puts Miami in 4th and 16 to extend the game…and Aldarious Johnson makes an amazing catch in traffic to convert!
• (In hindsight, this is easily the play of the game. It reminded me of Kellen Winslow II’s catch on a Thursday night against West Virginia in 2003 that saved the game and for the moment the season. Eerily similar.)
• Bolstered by this, Jacory finds Benjamin for a big gainer and then on the next play for a touchdown. Great series for the young offense. Whipple put the ball in the hands of his best player and told him to go win the game, and Jacory obliged. Although now we have the problem of leaving too much time on the clock. Who’d have thunk it? (28-27 UM)
• Miami covers the kick well, gives up a couple of first downs and Wake crosses midfield. However, they run out of time and are forced to try a 60 yard field goal to win the game…
• Which they miss!!!! Miami wins it!!!!!!!!!!

The Day After

• I don’t need to go through all the mistakes that were made. In football, mistakes happen. Sometimes you can play well, which I though the defense did for the most part, and still get beat (witness the 6 or 7 amazing throws and catches Wake made against good coverage and big time pressure to prolong drives). Sometimes, the bounces just don’t go your way early, and you can either keep after it or fold. Against Virginia Tech, in similar conditions, the ‘Canes folded. Against Clemson, Miami kept after it but came up short. In the end, against Wake Forest, they kept after it and pulled out a win that they shouldn’t have. And I guess that is all that matters. Sometimes, this game transcends analysis and message board thread after message board thread about every terrible play made in the game. It wasn’t pretty, but at the end of the day it was a win, and wins all count the same, no matter how ugly they are. A win is a win, whether it's by an inch or a mile. (Did that sound like Jerry Springer’s final thought? Good.)

Other Games I Watched

• UNC vs. Vagina Tech: Screw you Virginia Tech. It is games like this that make me go 4-5 for the weekend in my picks section and drop me to 26-33 for the season. And let me just add that this has been a really weird season.
• USF vs. West Virginia: I pick USF two weeks in a row and they lose. I pick them to lose ONCE and they win. Screw you USF.
• Ole Miss vs. Auburn: Billy Stein moves to 0-2 in the guest picker role. Sorry man. On a brighter note, he did say the funniest thing of his life on Friday. Bill was trying to explain to a couple of female friends why he wanted to see Boondock Saints instead of Paranormal Activity with them. When he explained the movie, they said they still didn’t get it. His response: “You know Hannah Montana? Well, this is MANnah Montana.” One of the greatest things ever said and an immediate addition to my vernacular.
• Florida State vs. North Carolina State: At one point during this shootout, they called FSU for a personal foul and then cut to Boobah on the sideline, who had on a look that said something like “When did they invent this dadgum personal foul rule?” High comedy.
• Indiana vs. Iowa: Indiana folded so badly that they had to create a special category on the ESPN ticker that was called “Iowa Big Plays”. Indiana gave up roughly 24 plays of 80 yards or greater in the 4th Quarter. They forced 5 interceptions and lost the game. The Big Ten, boys and girls.
• South Carolina vs. Tennessee: Well, Tennessee crushed Darth Visor and looked terrible doing it in the black jerseys. Also, Montario Hardesty is a BEAST at running back.
• Oregon vs. USC: Nothing to say.

Best Game: Miami vs. Wake

Best Uniform: The Iowa Steelers.

Game Ball Goes To: LaMichael James. I'm pretty sure that's how it is properly spelled, but the kid plays for Oregon and he's a beast.

Worst Uniform: Miami (you got lucky Tennessee).

Trojan Enz © Boner of the Week Award: Georgia, for messing up the best helmet in the SEC by making it black and therefore costing themselves the Cocktail Party.

Non-BCS Name You Should Know: T.Y. Hilton, FIU. Stud slot receiver who will make noise in the NFL eventually.

Next Week’s Picks:

Since I will be in Miami for Homecoming Weekend and won’t have time for my preview, here are the picks for the week:

Virginia Tech over East Carolina

Georgia Tech over Wake Forest, who is now demoralized

South Carolina over Arkansas

Ohio State over Penn State

Alabama over LSU

UPSET SPECIAL: Navy over Notre Dame

Always guard the inbound passer.

Forced In to the Open

Hello All,

Well, after a week off, it is time to return to the tried and true running diary, taken from notes I made during the game.

PRE-GAME

Comin’ to you live from Beef O’Brady’s in Gainesville, Florida!

This should be fun. Because the combination of UCF and Conference USA brilliantly sold the TV rights to UCF’s only high profile home game of the season to a channel only carried on the premiere sports tier of certain satellite providers, the Stein men and Steph have been forced out of the Man Room and out in to the open.

We arrive at the bar as Florida’s kicker lines up to kick the game winner against Arkansas. The bar is filled to the brim with people wearing the tried and true combination of royal blue over denim. You stay classy Gainesville.

Anyway, the sight of the three of us went over about as well as a fart in church (which I think would be hilarious, but apparently is frowned upon). Of course, the kicker makes it, and we have to put up with the Shanty-folk praising each other to no end after a thrilling, home-field, Homecoming victory over the mighty Razorbacks, who of course are underrated according to every person in that bar. And yet I digress. The point is, UF barely beat Arkansas and we had to deal with the people who stuck around the bar after that just to watch the Miami game and try to get a rise out of us. More on this later.

We convince the waitress to put the Miami game on the big screen in our section. By convince, I mean we asked and she said they were already planning on showing it on the big screen and then walked away as quickly as possible so as to not give the impression she was in league with us when the lynching ropes eventually come out.

Final thoughts before kickoff: “Oh f*&k, we are wearing the green pants.”

1st QTR

• Miami comes out swingin’, as Jacory finds LaRon Byrd for a first down on the first play and shuts the crowd up (by the way, Jacory is now on a first name only basis, like Bono or Elvis). However, the drive stalls on a bad sack and the ‘Canes punt.
• Jared Campbell makes a big play. I cannot believe I just typed that.
• The guy at the table next to us just made a joke about me taking notes during the game just loud enough that I could hear it but quietly enough that he could try and claim it was part of a private conversation. You stay classy Gainesville.
• Travis Benjamin runs a great route, and Jacory throws a bomb down the field later in the drive caught by Leonard Hankerson in the back of the end zone. One of the best catches I have seen, all things considered. He was running at full speed, tracked down a floater from Jacory in to the back of the end zone and lunged, caught the ball, and got his front foot down within a split second of each other. He didn’t think it was a touchdown. We didn’t think it was a touchdown. The ref saw it though, and replay confirmed it. I can’t decide if I am more impressed with Hankerson’s body control or the ref’s vision. (7-0 Miami)
• Miami finally blitzes for the first time and Sean Spence picks up a sack. Every time we blitz, something good happens. Every. Time. And yet, we blitz only a handful of times a game. Highly annoying. It’s not like our front four is getting consistent pressure. The last two weeks, FAMU and UCF have both stood up to our pass rush remarkably well. Not good.
• Jacory’s stat line for the quarter: 7-7, 97 yards and a touchdown. Wow.

2nd QTR• The teams exchange bad drives for a while and then Matt Bosher hits a field goal. (10-0 Miami).
• It was a pretty boring quarter, save for the people at the table next to me having a legitimate conversation about Arkansas being able to give just about anybody in the country a run for their money. I am speechless. Totally and utterly speechless.
• Corey Nelms and Damien Berry, two of my favorites, make plays just before the half. And hey, Georgia Tech continues to lead Virginia Tech. Life is good.
HALFTIME
• Overall, the ‘Canes were very workmanlike. The Knights defensive front created a lot of pressure, which surprised me. The question is whether the ‘Canes will continue to play down to the level of their competition or not. The brightest spot has been the defense, which has been a wrecking ball.

3rd QTR• Sean Spence registers his second sack on his second blitz. Hmmmmmmm…might we be on to something here?
• LaRon Byrd makes a great catch on a jump ball down the sideline, setting up a Jacory pass to Byrd for a first down at the five and a Javarris James touchdown run. (17-0 Miami)
• UCF scores a touchdown by beating the blitz (DOH!). Wait, ROCKY ROSS caught it? The coolest white guy on planet Earth? With the best name?? I’m not even mad. Stein on the Sidelines is a Rocky Ross fan. (17-7 UCF)
• Miami follows the score by putting together a bad drive and then snapping the punt over Bosher’s head on the punt. Bosher kicks it out the back of the end zone; however, because he contacted it within the field of play and not in the end zone, UCF gets the ball on the 1. Uh-oh.
• UCF runs a play out wide for their running back, which DeMarcus Van Dyke blows up for a loss of about 5. Again, I cannot believe I just typed that sentence.
• Jared Campbell comes on the safety blitz and whacks the quarterback..the ball pops in to the air and Colin McCarthy picks it off. Threat averted, big turnover created, throat stepped on. To add injury to insult, Campbell knocked the quarterback out of the game. His backup completed a whopping 39.4% of his passes last season as a starter (worse than JaMarcus Russell). Sean Spence is licking his chops as I write this.
• Bosher hits another field goal, set up by a big play from Jacory to Thearon Collier. (20-7 UM)
4th QTR• At this critical juncture, the table next to us decided to loudly make fun of the Hurricanes for playing UCF. Seriously? UF fans making fun of Miami’s non-conference schedule? I told him that we really tried to get Troy or Charleston Southern to toughen up our schedule, but they were previously engaged. Which lead to the inevitable “SEC is really tough” crack. Which lead to the “Yep, I don’t know what we would do if we had to play ARKANSAS! I mean, Virginia Tech is tough and all, but ARKANSAS?!? That’s a football team!” retort. Which lead to my dad telling me to shut up (which was probably smart, because there were 5 of them). Which lead to me staring a hole in the television the rest of the game as they closed up their tab and left. I consider it a victory, which could have been bigger if dad had taken the parking brake off…kind of like this game!
• To sum up the quarter, the defense didn’t let them sniff another score, the offense stopped throwing and Damien Berry beasted out. Final score: 27-7 ‘Canes, a blowout which could have been way bigger if Randy Shannon kept his foot on the gas and Matt Pipho hadn’t missed the bus to Orlando. A solid, workmanlike (yep, twice) win for a team that just needed to get the win and get back on the bus as they head in to a pivotal matchup with Clemson.
Other Games I Watched
- Arkansas State vs. Louisiana-Monroe: “No. Absolutely not.”- Richard Stein as he takes the remote from Stein on the Sidelines and changes it to Die Hard on Tuesday night.
- Boise State vs. Tulsa: I know this is unpopular, but I think Boise might be the second best team in the country, behind Alabama. They are fast, and their defense is aggressive and physical. Tulsa’s offense is no joke, and Boise held them down. They have playmakers. I think they are better than both Florida and Texas at this point.
- Cincinnati vs. South Florida: I think USF lost this one only because I picked them to win. Sorry guys, my bad.
- Oklahoma vs. Texas: I was feeling bad for Oklahoma when Bradford went down again, because I like the kid. But then I remembered how dirty the rest of the Sooners team was when they played in Miami, and how obnoxious Bob Stoops is on the sideline. And then, as if to validate my point, a Sooner defensive end tried to rip Colt McCoy’s head off after he slid on the final play from scrimmage. AFTER he slid. And it wasn’t called. Go figure.
- Iowa vs. Wisconsin: And Wisconsin figures to wrap up its 57th straight trip to the Champs Sports Bowl sometime next week.
- Georgia vs. Vanderbilt: This, folks, is why the SEC is the greatest God damn football conference there is.
- Arkansas vs. Florida: Alright, let’s put it out there: if Florida was playing anyone half decent, they lose this game by 2 scores. Bobby Petrino has no idea how win unless he is playing Conference USA competition at Louisville. He called run plays when he should have thrown. He threw when his running backs were runnin’ hot. His quarterback completed something like 25% of his passes. And still, the Razorbacks win this game if their kicker doesn’t miss 2 4th quarter field goals. Oh, and if the refs don’t gift wrap Florida its fourth quarter touchdown. At their place. During their homecoming game. On national television. Hmmmmmmmmm…
- Notre Dame vs. USC: As much as it pains me, I have to give it to the Irish: they have a lot of fight in them. I am glad they lost, and I know there is no such thing as a moral victory, but when USC got up a couple scores, I figured it wasn’t worth watching anymore. I was very impressed with their resolve and now consider Jimmy Clausen the Heisman front runner. Wow, that sucks.
- Virginia Tech vs. Georgia Tech: The curse is broken! Rachel Russo is Stein on the Sideline’s lucky charm.

Best Game: Notre Dame vs. USC

Best Uniform: Texas. Best uniforms in college football.

Game Ball Goes To: Georgia Tech’s defense.

Worst Uniform: Miami, white over green. And it always will be when they make the mistake of wearing it.

Trojan Enz © Boner of the Week Award: The Arkansas-Florida refereeing crew. I am still waiting for them to apologize publicly.

Brian Rolle “Should’ve Been a ‘Cane” Award: Sam Young, Notre Dame. Think the ‘Canes couldn’t use a great right tackle after that game? Ridiculous. And this kid is not only huge and talented, but he is from St. Thomas Aquinas. Snarl.

Non-BCS Name You Should Know: Mardy Gilyard, Cincinnati. Oh wait, the Big East is in the BCS? Shoot…well this is embarassing...

Don’t forget to recommend this to friends and keep my drive for the Nobel going!

And, as always, remember to guard the inbound passer.