Well, That Was....Something

Hello All,

Last night’s Maryland game can best be summed up with one word: annoying.

As annoying as the Granny from Beverly Hillbillies (Lou Holtz) spittling all over the camera while her sidekick, the fat, ugly version of Idris Elba (Mark May), chuckles along smarmily.

More annoying than Maryland and Georgia’s uniforms.

More annoying than the commercial for Jeep that claims you can make it to a morning round of golf in Monterey and an afternoon meeting in LA on a single tank of gas.

(You know, because roads are always wide-open in California…never any traffic mucking things up)

More annoying than Baylor finally pulling the upset special that I have been saying they will for two effing years the one week I don’t pick them.

More annoying than the seat I was in Saturday at The Coliseum pushed up against a 300 lb man (who apparently didn’t get the memo that said AXE Body Spray is not deodorant) in 95 degree heat.

The loss was depressing and it made me angry and it felt like a gut punch. By now we have all read the break downs of what happened against Maryland.

There is one group that will say this team is trash, not improved from last year, in over its head, etc.

There is another that will find excuses for every problem that was exposed and blame suspended players, weather, etc.

I personally find myself somewhere in the middle (where the correct answer usually lays when it comes to assessing a football game).

On one hand, I definitely got a sense of déjà vu at the end of this football game. On the road, managing to have a chance to win despite self-inflicted wounds, blowing it at the end.

(Yes fans, despite popular belief, we actually had a chance to win every game on our schedule last year late into the contest, with the possible exception being the FSU debacle.)

On the other, I saw a team that made mistakes but fought through them, not relenting after a fumble returned for a touchdown, or an illegal formation call that negated a first and goal, or two consecutive delay of game penalties (just…wow). Last season, the team would have visibly gone in to a shell.

Last season was frustrating because The ‘Canes were (with the exception of the Ohio State game) the more talented team and yet seemed to lose because we would coast through large segments of games, always banking that we would be able to turn it on when it was crunch time.

This strategy worked at times but, as it usually does, backfired in the end.

Last night was frustrating for a different reason:

Last night the players fought their ass off for 60 minutes but were undone by a bad gameplan.

Miami failed to dictate the pace early, and as a result they were stung late.

Football is a game of running and striking. Much like tennis, the server has the advantage. If you dictate the terms of the game, the game generally rewards you.

The first quarter was an exercise in frustration in that regard. Maryland came out time and time again throwing screen passes, which are generally effective against very soft coverage or blitzes.

Blitzing is a way of telling an offense “here we come, I dare you to beat us”. You win some, you lose some. However, you win or lose on your terms. We can all appreciate that.

Soft coverage is just that…soft. It is reactionary. It is telling the other team “you tell us where we are going and we will try to stop you from getting there”. It is the stuff that makes me throw a phone.

Al Golden has talked of bringing Miami back to where it used to be for 9 months. Bringing back the old school mentality. Part of that means reinstituting the aggression that has been lacking these past few years.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and anyone who expected the ‘Canes to immediately channel the 1986 defense in their first game under Golden was mistaken. Possibly deranged. However, my problem was that the defensive gameplan at the start of the game did not set a tone of aggression and running and hitting. That must change.

The team fought hard. Letting this one get away stings, but it is not without its positives, as I said before.

Stephen Morris (until the last five minutes) and the receivers looked good, like they will make some things happen this year.

The Smash ‘N’ Dash tandem at running back is going to do some great things.

Ramon Buchanon looked awesome at linebacker and so did Vaughn Telelmaque at safety. The shorthanded defense certainly battled hard to slow down the Maryland offense that was in rhythm most of the night.

Special teams was as good as we have seen it in years.

Maurice Hagens, Allen Hurns and Jimmy Gaines all showed that they will be heard from this season.

The team was locked and loaded for all 60 minutes.

Having said all that, it is a loss that should not have happened and that is the takeaway from this performance. As Al Golden said, “there are no moral victories”.

This will go down as an opportunity lost for Miami. It certainly does not diminish my enthusiasm for the program or the season or the coach or the players. Years from now it may be laughed at, like the idea that Howard Schnellenberger could lose Florida A&M (he did).

However, today, it is not funny and the moral victories do not help. It is only another stumble for a program that seems to have been at a perpetual crossroads for the better part of a decade. And it is annoying.

Always guard the inbound passer.

The Drum Beat Strengthens

Hello All,

A couple of things to talk about, but first there is this: we are 8 days from the opening of fall camp. And yes, I am spending half of my time watching ‘Canes highlight reels.

A figure who played a key role in a lot of those highlight reels has been in the news this week (SEGUE ALERT! SEGUE ALERT!). Allow me to take a moment to give you my thoughts on Butch Davis’ firing at UNC:

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those (I am sure thousands upon thousands) of you who don’t understand my hatred of Butch Davis and how I could possibly be so excited about the firing of a coach at a non-rival school who once upon a time recruited the greatest team in the history of college football for my alma mater, let me explain.

Davis, who was understandably a hot name after the 2000 season, said in the locker room after the 2001 Sugar Bowl victory over the Gators (suck one) that to leave for the NFL now would make him a “Deadbeat Dad”. Fast forward a couple of weeks. We are now one week from National Signing Day and Butch Davis is holding a press conference to announce that he has accepted the head coaching job with the Cleveland Browns.

Smart business decision? Absolutely. Would I have made the same one? Probably.

Here is the problem: HE F*CKING LIED TO MY FACE.

Allow me to give you an analogy.

You’ve been dating a girl since high school. You’ve gone through your awkward stage together, and now she has turned into a beautiful girl on the verge of greatness. However, something else comes along (a move to Europe that would offer far more money but make a relationship untenable, let’s say). You have a talk, and while regrettable and sad, the relationship ends. Everyone is ok with it.

Now, take that same girl, but let’s say she’s been ducking your calls for a while now. You ask her if everything is ok. She says it is great and she loves you. A week later you catch her in bed with some other dude. You are wrecked. You start listening to Matchbox 20 and Incubus. A lot. You are drinking whiskey out of your coffee mug at work. Your workouts are hollow because all you can see is a pathetic little boy staring back at you in the gym mirror. You blame yourself and actually buy it when she calls and says that she has Chlamydia and you HAVE to be the one who gave it to her. It is the equivalent of a person going Hiroshima on your psyche.

(This just got weird, didn't it?)

Butch Davis leaving Miami was the latter. So I am glad Karma came for him. I am glad his artificially enhanced program is going to come down a notch or two. I am glad that UNC finally manned up and did something they should have done a while ago. The only thing that would make me happier?

If the news was delivered to Butch while he was in bed with kidney stones.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post.

My buddies and I were talking one time about how awesome a reality show made up solely of the uniting illegitimate children of professional athletes like Shawn Kemp, Travis Henry and Antonio Cromartie would be (really I was doing the talking and they were shaking their heads in complete disbelief). I’m not sure whether the show would turn into The Illegitimate Justice League as all the characters united to fight crime or The Illegitimate Bad Girls Club (no explanation necessary), but I do know for a fact it would be fun as hell to watch.

(Think of the plotlines!! The Parents’ Television Council would go nuts!!!)

For that reason, the 2008 Miami Hurricanes running back corps is perhaps my favorite of all time, as it featured 5 running backs, 4 of which had one or more child (not mentioning names), and only one of whom was married.


It also featured Damien Berry (who was changing positions from safety) and a precocious Graig Cooper, two rocks of this position group, who have now moved on to greener pastures. (SEGUE ALERT! SEGUE ALERT!)

Last season saw the crescendo of Berry and Coop as ‘Canes, one going out with a bang (Berry, who lead the team in rushing and was arguably under-used) and one with a whimper (Cooper, who clearly was at no better than 80% after knee surgery and probably should have redshirted). The ‘Canes also lose Pat Hill, a reliable road grader at fullback whose contribution will probably be masked by more multiple tight end sets this season, and Storm Johnson (sorry Julie Rose) , who flashed promise in the USF game with a 70+ yard touchdown run but transferred after managing to clash with both Randy Shannon AND Al Golden. Possibly because he smokes A LOT of pot and has a dad that rivals Ornette Howard. Just sayin’.

(By the way, there is a real possibility that 15 years from now Damien Berry will be concluding his NFL career and The U will feature 5 players sprung from his loins. I am very excited.)

SIDENOTE: Not sure if my friend Russo will ever talk to me again now that Cooper is gone. We might have a whole bunch of eras ending all at once here. It’s a weird time to be Stein on the Sidelines.

Returning are the always reliable Mike James (underrated) and the brilliant Lamar Miller (great but I am starting to fear that he might be overhyped), among others.

Sadly, the particularly fertile group of 2008 has all moved on now, but the specter of their virility will linger for years to come. I can only hope and pray that this year’s squad steps up to the plate to replace the heart and…ahem…production that has been lost.

RB

Mike James, Jr.

James is the sort of “Ol Reliable” that every team needs. He will consistently account for positive plays, can catch the ball out of the backfield, can block well enough to play fullback, and has the juice to break off the occasional 40 yard burst. He also plays his ass off and is the type of guy you put on a poster for your program.

Ceiling: Leads the team in rushing and plays a huge role in a new ball control offense.
Floor: Really doesn’t have one…This gimmick is already getting old isn’t it?

Lamar Miller, So.

Faster than greased lightning and showed it last year. Is easily the most exciting player on the roster since Devin Hester and will be the most important player on the offense not names “Whoever the hell ends up playing quarterback”. To listen to fans talk he is Willis McGahee with Jim Brown and Walter Payton mixed in. We will see if that works out…first, he needs to stay healthy.

Ceiling: Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson
Floor: Tecmo Bowl Mark Higgs (yes, I am a scarred Dolphins fan)

Darion Hall, So.

Hall has the potential to be very effective as a thick back that can also break the long run, but he has not yet gotten a carry that counts for anything and is therefore unproven.

Ceiling: James Jackson said he was the best back in the state his senior year of high school…that would be nice.
Floor: Falters when called upon.

Maurice Hagens, So.

Hagens is a beast who is going to become a tailback after the fullback position was essentially eliminated by the new scheme. Look for him to be used as a hammer who can punch holes in a tired defense and close near the goal line, something which was lacking last season.

Ceiling: James Stewart
Floor: Jerrell Mabry (This is fairly recent; who could forget the great fullback-that-should-have-been-a-defensive-tackle-and-kind-of-looked-like-Ice Cube?)

Kevin Grooms, Fr.

Grooms is the jet brought in for this recruiting class that really doesn’t have a position yet, but he figures to get some change-of-pace carries. He will always be a threat to go the distance and looks like a tough little cookie. Maybe he will be used as Devin Hester was supposed to be used.

Ceiling: Albert Bentley (Google it)
Floor: Redshirt

Always guard the inbound passer.

Here's Lookin' at You, Tim

Hello All,

Well, you know it is time for a new blog post when your friend in Azerbaijan tells you it has too long since you put one up.

While I would like to blog more, it has been a little hard to find time since I moved out to the West Coast. Not only did I have to pound the pavement until I found a place to stay (a room in an apartment owned by a sixty year old lady in a neighborhood called Little Ethiopia) and a job (bussing tables at Barney’s Beanery), but I also had to deal with things like avocado on pizza (and sandwiches…and eggs…and as a garnish for cocktails…and pizza; okay I made one of those things up) and cleaning massive amounts of bird crap off Sweet Melissa and half hour drives to move 2 miles and paying 20 bucks a day just to be able to watch the ‘Canes play baseball on the weekends. Anyway, this is the first time I have been able to sit down and write something.

I also realized that I had another problem…there is not much to write about right now. I mean, the firs two things I thought about were meeting Melvin Bratton the other night at work and one of the other busboys I work with, Ricardo, beating Kobe, Lebron, Odom, Carmelo and Barkley in Pop-a-Shot on Jimmy Kimmel Live (and winning a car). Writer’s block, anyone?

Then I remembered that for three years now I have done a player by player breakdown of the roster and have only heard minimal feedback telling me it is stupid. To be honest, I kind of like doing it and then looking back at the end of the season. Plus, I know you are all waiting with baited breath for my next genius, awe-inspiring bit of prose. So without further ado, all aboard.

Quarterback

The Season That Was: Jacory Harris showed that when he is on he is among the best in the nation. However, he also showed a penchant for crippling interceptions, particularly in the North Carolina game.

What Was Lost: Nothing of note. Matt Perelli moved on, which means the ‘Canes need a new holder.

Roll Call

Jacory Harris (Jr.) – Harris will look to grow in his second year in Mark Whipple’s system. This means knowing when to throw it away behind an inexperienced offensive line and when to take a sack. It also means knowing his limits, as in where he can throw the ball and where he opens himself up to interceptions. I expect a big growth season, and if the ‘Canes win enough he will be in the Heisman race.

Spencer Whipple (Jr.) – Whipple transferred in and ran the Scout Team last season. This year he is on scholarship and might get the call off the bench if Jacory were to go down (knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood). Smart kid but very limited physically.

A.J. Highsmith (So.) – Ran the second team effectively in limited appearances. A very good athlete who many think will switch to defensive back when Uber-Recruit Teddy Bridgewater arrives in Coral Gables. Personally, I never count out someone whose last name is Highsmith, regardless of position. Also, if I didn't mention this already, I met Melvin Bratton last night.

Stephen Morris (Fr.) – Arrived as an Early-Enrollee and looked good in the Spring Game, but still has a lot of work left to do. Most likely will redshirt.

Running Back

The Season That Was: Graig Cooper broke out as the multi-purpose threat we all knew he could be. Damien Berry broke out as one of the toughest between-the-tackles runners UM has seen in some time. Javarris James once again was limited, but had his moments, such as a 151 yard outburst against Oklahoma. Pat Hill proved that the offense is much more effective when he is on the field then off of it. Mike James filled in ably at fullback and showed glimpses of a bright future.

What Was Lost: Baby J graduated. While he was long a Stein on the Sidelines favorite, he is far from irreplaceable. Tervarris Johnson is gone, but his duties can be absorbed by others after his surprising rise to contributor last year.

Roll Call

Graig Cooper (Sr.) – Coop is showing signs that he will return from his bowl game knee injury at some point this season. Do I think this is smart? No. He needs to sit the year and not come back until he is at full strength. The guy became a real playmaker last season, but his game is predicated on speed. His draft stock will suffer if he comes back and looks slow, which he most likely will. Take your time, rehab and come back 100% Coop. Best case, he comes back at 80% strength and makes a contribution as a runner and receiver. Worst case, he pushes it back too early and does more damage.

Damien Berry (Sr.) – The backup who became the star last year. He runs hard and has a nose for the end zone. Not afraid to run people over, but needs to show more speed and learn to pick up the blitz to become a complete back. Either way, there were games last season that could have been won if he had just been handed the ball more often. Look for big things this season.

Pat Hill (Sr.) – The senior fullback/snow plow will be crucial this season. Not only was the run game more effective early in the season with Hill as the lead blocker, but the passing game was too, as Jacory had more time to sit in the pocket and throw thanks to Hill’s blitz pickup. A healthy Hill could boost Miami’s running attack (which was already good) and help cut down on interceptions.

Lee Chambers (Jr.) – Has shown flashes for years but can’t stay healthy. At this point, it will take a Lion’s effort to keep the young guns from passing him on the depth chart. However, the talent is definitely present, so anything is possible.

Mike James (So.) – Played mostly at fullback last season once Hill was injured but showed the ability to contribute as a pass catcher out of the backfield, pick up the blitz and return kicks last season. With Hill healthy, James will battle for carries all season and should be on the field in third down situations if Berry’s blocking doesn’t improve.

John Calhoun (So.) – Calhoun is a bit of an H-Back type that hasn’t shown much yet. He will be relied on if Hill were to go down again and might see some snaps at tight end. Think of the contribution Tervarris Johnson made last season and envision Calhoun in a similar role.

Lamar Miller (R-Fr.) – Miller is one of the fastest guys on the team and a real home run threat who say out last season. He will figure to be in the return game conversation as well as the running back rotation. Probably the most exciting name on this list. Like Lindsay Lohan before she lost her boobs.

Storm Johnson (Fr.) – Early enrollee that impressed everyone with his combination of size and speed but more than likely will redshirt due to sheer numbers. A very good problem to have. Could be a future superstar, like Melvin Bratton, who I met last night.

Eduardo Clements (Fr.) – Maybe the fastest guy in this group aside from Miller and a dangerous guy out of the slot as well. Mark Whipple loves his pass catching ability and might create a role for him in this year’s offense. However, there has also been rumor that he will move over to DB, which would certainly necessitate a redshirt.

Darrion Hall (Fr.) – Hard runner who is probably the sleeper of this running back roster. After a ‘shirt, he might be the one most likely to surprise people.

Maurice Hagens (Fr.) – A big, muscular kid to play fullback and take over for Hill. Depending upon Calhoun’s performance and Hill’s health, Hagens might have to see the field this season.

Always guard the inbound passer. And remember, I met Melvin Bratton last night.

Happy New Year

Hello All,

Well, unfortunately, it is time to wrap up the 2009 Hurricane football season.

I took two hundred pages of notes this season, or roughly 4000 times more than two season ago. It was at times frustrating, as evidenced by the three cracks that I inflicted on my Blackberry screen (I get a little worked up) throughout the season. However, more of the time, it was uplifting. It marked another step in the right direction and gave me a lot of hope for bigger and better things next season.

Here are my season ending awards:

Most Valuable Player Award: Jacory

Let's just say that, good or bad, this team went as Jacory went. When he was good, this team was unstoppable. When he was bad, so was the team. Sometimes this all happened in one game. He did, however, grab this team and make it his own, which is what an MVP does. Runner Up: Jason Fox

Defensive Player of the Year: Brandon Harris

Sharpton surged late, and McCarthy and Bailey had big years as well. But Harris rarely got beat, rarely took a dumb penalty and eveolved as the season went on in to a very good cover corner. Additionally, he wasn't afraid to come up and thump someone, as evidenced by his three forced fumbles. And he made the one play of the season that made scream so loud I woke my neighbors (the strip sack of Landry Jones in the OU game). Seriously. They came over and asked if we were ok. I wish I were kidding. Runner Up: Bailey

Player Responsible for the Most Excalamtion Points (!!!!!!!!!!!!!): Jimmy Graham

This guy could literally shit himself on the field and I would have thought it was awesome. As I have said, this guy was my favorite basketball player for years because of his heart and tenacity. He played football the same way. If he had ever dunked a touchdown pass, I might literally have died of a rush of blood to the head. Runner Up: Thearon Collier

Rookie of the Year: Mike James

Filled every role we asked him to this season. Gets bonus points for starting at fullback and kick returner...let me know of another guy in America currently filling that role. Runner Up: Olivier Vernon

Best Hair-Do: Olivier Vernon

The Mohawk. 'Nuff said. Runner Up: Jacory

Looked Best in His Uniform: Ray Ray Armstrong

Just looked like a machine sent back through time to destroy receivers going over the middle. Leads me to believe that every single defensive player on the roster should be required to wear the dark visor. Can we make this happen? Give me one good reason why we can't. Runner Up: Graig Cooper

Most Overlooked by the Fans: Graig Cooper

You wouldn't think this, but Cooper actually had a BIG TIME season. He was great in blitz pick-up, a solid receiver and a hard runner. He eliminated the dancing in the backfield and stopped tackling himself. He was the most reliable big play threat and probably the most inappropriately maligned player on the roster. Godspeed in your recovery from injury Cooooooooooop. Runner Up: Jared Campbell

Winston Wolf Award: Damien Berry

He didn't care what happened before he came in or what happened after. He took care of his business and solved problems. A perfect sledgehammer running back. Runner Up: None.

SIDENOTE: The other day Bill turns to me and says "Why the hell didn't Tiger Woods just call the Wolf?" Fanatastic question.

Tom Robinson Most Sympathetic Figure Award: Eric Moncur

This guy went balls to the wall all the time, and as a result he couldn't stay healthy. A shame, because this was a great kid with a lot of talent and a truly inspiraional story.Runner Up: Javarris James

Best Moment: Aldarious Johnson's catch on 4th and 16 against Wake Forest

The three plays before this were terrible and mind-boggling. The throw on this play looked high. Johnson looked double...nay, triple... covered. And yet, he still made the play. And the rest is history. Runner Up: Jacory Harris Throw/Travis Benjamin Catch late against FSU

Best Game: Miami beats Florida State 38-34

If I have to explain this, you are a moron. Runner Up: Miami loses to Clemson in OT

And there you have it. My stomach will never be the same (pretty sure I now have an ulcer...Go 'Canes!), and neither will my phone. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thanks for the memories!